When Cole and Abbie Howat decided to have a baby together, they never considered hiding what they knew could be both a physically and emotionally painful journey.
The couple, who have more than four million followers across social media, wanted to raise awareness of reciprocal IVF, where one female in the relationship carries the genetic baby of the other.
Both women, from Dumfries, started their fertility treatment together before Cole donated an egg that was fertilised by a sperm donor for Abbie to then carry.
To their joy, Abbie conceived at first attempt and in January last year the couple’s miracle son Hudson was born.
Now the pair – who are also doting mums to Abbie’s two children from a previous relationship – are hoping to expand their family further.
Abbie is set to have a second of Cole’s embryos implanted and, as the couple excitedly look forward to the year ahead, they want their journey to inspire others.
Cole, 31, said: “From when we first met, we always knew we wanted children together. We decided to do reciprocal IVF to make it really feel like we were both involved.
“It was so special for me that Abbie was carrying ‘our’ baby. The fact it was my egg made it feel even more special as we were creating him together”
Abbie, 33, added: “We happily shared our story on TikTok mainly to show people how two women can make a baby together.
“We want to try to normalise two mums having a baby, educate the younger generation and help others going through the same thing.
“Now we are sharing our journey again and, no matter the outcome, we will be honest and open with people. If we can help anyone, we will.”
Hairdressers Cole and Abbie first met 11 years ago when Abbie was running a barber’s shop in Dumfries.
It wasn’t until they met again four years later that romantic sparks began to fly.
Cole said: “I didn’t think it was possible to fall in love with someone so quickly.
“I’d been single for seven months after coming out of a long-term relationship and was scrolling through Facebook and added Abbie. Five minutes later I received a message from her and we began talking.
“I met her the next night and, from then on, we just couldn’t be apart.”
Abbie added: “I told Cole I loved her in the first week we started seeing each other. Everything just felt right.”
Aside from falling in love with Abbie, Cole also fell in love with her new partner’s children, daughter Ghianna, then aged four, and two-year-old son Kai.
Cole said: “We were only together six months when I asked Abbie to marry me. I blindfolded her and took her back to the first place we kissed. When she took her blindfold off, I was down on one knee.”
The couple married at Mabie House hotel in Dumfries.
Abbie said: “As we are both female, we both walked down the aisle. Cole had her dad and Kai walk her down the aisle, then waited for me at the bottom. Then my dad and stepdad walked me down the aisle.”
Cole added: “I remember turning round and seeing the most beautiful woman in this world walking towards me with the most stunning dress. I couldn’t hold back the tears. I think I cried from start to finish saying our vows.”
The couple soon decided they were ready to have a child together.
Initially they turned to their GP and were referred for fertility treatment through the NHS but a long waiting list, not helped by Covid-related delays, led to them seeking private medical care.
They attended the GCRM fertility clinic in Glasgow where a decision was made that Abbie would attempt to become pregnant using an egg that had been retrieved from Cole, then fertilised via an anonymous donor.
Abbie said: “It was so important for us to do reciprocal IVF this way because we wanted to both feel as involved as possible.
“We also thought it would feel right for Ghianna and Kai if they saw me carry Hudson.”
Both Abbie and Cole started medication that would synchronise their bodies to enable the IVF treatment needed.
When tests revealed Cole had low levels of a particular hormone, medics feared they would not be able to retrieve the
number of eggs needed to give Abbie a good chance of becoming pregnant.
To the couple’s relief, they ended up with nine eggs, of which three could be used to make embryos.
They shared every step of their fertility and pregnancy journey with their followers
Cole said: “We chose our sperm donor from a London sperm bank. It’s crazy choosing a donor as you can search
everything from hair colour to personality.
“We chose our donor to match Abbie. He pretty much sounds like the male version of Abbie.
“You don’t get to see adult photos – just one baby picture.”
After Abbie was implanted with one fertilised egg, the couple were delighted to have it confirmed a few weeks later that she was pregnant.
Despite suffering from several bleeds over the next nine months, the pregnancy progressed well and baby Hudson was born on January 4 last year.
Cole said: “I was in the hospital room with Abbie for the hours she was in labour but, when she ended up needing an emergency Caesarean section, I wasn’t allowed to be there for the birth due to Covid restrictions. That still devastates me.”
Hudson was warmly welcomed into the family by his adoring siblings Ghianna, now 11, and Kai, nine.
Twelve months on from Hudson’s arrival, Abbie is preparing for an embryo that was frozen during their last round of treatment to be implanted in the near future.
Cole said: “Before having Hudson, we only hoped for one more child to complete our little family. After having Hudson, we both had a change of heart and decided we would love to have another little person around the house, so we could have two older children and two younger.”
While Abbie believes in having a positive mindset to help achieve any goals, Cole admits to feeling more anxious this time around.
Whatever happens, the social media influencers plan to continue sharing their journey to help others.
Abbie said: “The best advice I can give to anyone else going through this journey is try to stay positive and support each other as it’s hard on both of you.
“We had so many messages last time from people thanking us for sharing our knowledge on what happens – things they couldn’t find anywhere else.
“We have just started our next round of IVF this time with a frozen transfer and
we are sharing our journey again.
“Hopefully this time next year we will have baby number four.”
