A Scots bride says other women should break with convention and give speeches at their own weddings – after deciding she'd had enough of leaving it to the men.
Heidi Ellert-McDermott, 42, gave a speech of her own at her wedding to husband Roger. Their unconventional ceremony was financed on a shoestring budget, with Heidi wearing a £50 dress from Debenhams, sourcing her flowers from IKEA, and making her own invitations.
The Mirror reports that Heidi upped the ante for their off-kilter nuptials by taking to the mic after Roger's groom speech. Since getting hitched in 2012, she has set up her own professional wedding speechwriting service, Speechy, and wants women to speak up more on their big day.
The former TV scriptwriter, who now lives in Bristol, said: "I just wanted it to be good fun. We got married in a church, then had the reception at a swanky bar/restaurant that had a dance floor.
"We just about squeezed our 90 guests into it. For me, the speeches were going to be the highlight of the day.
"It's a time to sort of take stock of your life and value the friendship and the love that you've achieved in your life. I just thought it's gonna be fun and I really wanted to make my friends laugh.
"I knew there were quite a lot of people that didn't know each other. So I want to get them all laughing together. I was nervous on the day but I'm so glad I did it".
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Heidi wasn't the only woman to get on the mic: her mum also said a few words, while Roger's sister also shared a 'cheeky' poem. Alongside the traditional best man's speech, the groom announced the news that he and Heidi were three months pregnant.
She added: "I was going to a few other weddings where the speeches were either a bit questionable, like the best man went on for 50 minutes and was actually getting heckled, or they were just a bit dull and a bit boring and a bit predictable. And they were all saying the same things.
"I was just like, there needs to be someone helping people. I set up Speechy and pretty quickly, the next year, we exhibited at a wedding show and I was so shocked at how few brides even considered giving a speech. It was very much like, 'no, that's the guy's job.'"
Dumbfounded, Heidi continued: "I do think it's somewhat ironic that we've got all these campaigning groups for women to be on more conference lineups and speaker lineups within the business sphere and then a lineup that we're actually in charge of or jointly, we opt out of on one of the days when literally everyone in the room wants to hear from you."
Heidi, who met Roger while working in TV on the likes of The One Show, This Morning, A Place in the Sun, The Sharon Osbourne Show, and Richard Hammond's 5 O'clock Show, set up her agency to help people add the "heart and soul" to their own ceremonies.
She continued: "I do feel you owe it to your guests to at least acknowledge, not only their effort in coming and possibly spending hundreds of pounds to see you say I do, but you also owe them a good time. You owe them the chance to laugh and you want to reignite their enthusiasm for love.
"And especially the people you really, really genuinely care about - like your parents and your friends that have seen you through your single years. This is one of the few opportunities in your life where you get to take a moment to truly honour them and pay a tribute."
In recent times, she says she has been working with more mothers of brides amid parental divorces and a shift from the traditional nuclear family dynamic. She has noticed changing attitudes when marriage's patriarchal traditions are actually questioned.
She added: "You love your son or daughter as equally, so why should parents have to give up the right to pay a tribute to their child just because it's a 'guy's job'? When you question these things it is like yeah, that's really odd."
The expert has now published a book - The Modern Couple's Guide to Wedding Speeches - with helpful advice about perfecting a wedding speech. She also works with parents for joint speeches along with joint speeches from the couple marrying, which is particularly popular with same-sex couples.
She summed up: "I think our attitudes have changed, but our behaviours haven't when it comes to romance - it's the same with proposals as well with the man typically getting down on one knee. Hopefully things are changing, but speeches are the one area that needs to be shaken up the most."
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