There’s something of a Valentine’s Day underdog knocking about in one of the nation’s favourite supermarkets. It’s understated, often ridiculed, and usually overlooked. Lesser suitors will opt for more classic gifts for capitalism’s romance-oriented holiday: chocolates, roses, maybe even jewellery. But no, they are all missing a trick. The real, romantic gift. The one your significant other has been dreaming about all year, counting down the days ’til it hits the shelves. It’s juicy, slightly sexualised, and offers a century’s worth of protein. It’s sure to get you lucky on the morning of the 14th, so strong is its aphrodisiacal power. It’s The M&S Love Sausage.
I stumbled upon the mincemeat-heavy apparition while single in 2019 and couldn’t ignore the temptation. It was like some supernatural pull tugging me towards the checkout. I walked out with my M&S bag swinging triumphantly. I am a strong, independent woman! I can treat myself to my own love sausage! If you can’t show self love on this day of all days, when can you? And what better way to do it than by annihilating your insides with a nuclear concoction of truffled sausage meat, drooping bacon and the optional extra of eggs?
