The first Saturday Night of 2024 kicks off with Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson) holding court in front of reporters following his appearance in literal court. The former president crows about his recent blowout victory in the Iowa primary, congratulating “Mr DeSantis on a truly embarrassing showing. It went to 99 counties, but bitch couldn’t win one.” He also thanks “Vivika A Ramaswamy” for dropping out and agreeing to live in his suit pocket (“I love my little Ratatouille”), before free-associating on Mean Girls (“Where’s Lacey Chabert? Left out of remake, so sad”), Jeffrey Epstein (“You ever see that video of me dancing with Epstein? Boy is that some dark image … very strange, very Twin Peaks”), and his elderly base (“We just need ‘em to stay alive until November … just pull that lever and drop dead!”).
