A little girl told Santa Claus she didn’t want to sit on his lap, and his response has gone viral.
In a TikTok video shared by Florida mother Katie Love, the influencer filmed her three-year-old daughter Adley visiting Santa Claus at the Ritz-Carlton Key Biscayne in Miami. In the clip, which has been viewed 2m times since it was posted this week, her daughter told Santa “no” when asked if she wanted to sit on his lap.
During the holiday season, it’s customary that children sit on Santa’s lap, as they pose for pictures and tell him what presents they want for Christmas. However, when Adley firmly set her boundaries with Santa, he praised her ability to communicate exactly what she wished.
After witnessing the moment in person, Love asked Santa to repeat his expert response so that she could share it with the world. “This is her body and she’s in control of her body,” he told the camera. “I asked if she wanted to sit on my lap and she said no, and I said: ‘Way to stand up for yourself and way to say what you believe is true.’”
He continued: “You can’t let even Santa Claus - if Santa Claus says: ‘Do you want to sit on my lap?’ If you don’t want to, you say: ‘No!’”
In the caption of the video, Love thanked Santa for respecting her daughter’s boundaries. “This response was [fire emoji],” she wrote. “Thank you Santa for respecting my daughter’s choice and even applauding her for it!”
Thousands of fellow TikTok users rushed to the comments section to applaud both Adley and Santa for putting their own spin on a decades-old holiday tradition.
“We love an educated Santa,” one TikToker commented.
“I love this,” another person said. “No reason to pressure her to be uncomfortable for a picture.”
“I totally agree with this,” a third user said. “Kids can totally have boundaries.”
Meanwhile, others shared similar experiences with their local Santa respecting boundaries.
“At the mall in my area the kids don’t sit on Santa’s lap, instead they just sit next to him,” one person said, while another commented: “My daughter saw Santa once and didn’t sit in his lap. I love when kids’ voices are respected.”
Speaking to The Independent, Love explained how Adley began to get nervous about sitting on Santa’s lap after seeing another child do the same. In response, she told her daughter that she only needed to do what made her feel most comfortable.
“I was so surprised Santa took the time to tell my daughter it was her body and her choice whether she wanted to sit on Santa’s lap. He could have brushed her off or even made her feel bad,” the Florida mom said. “I was so proud of her. Kids have such little control in their life and Adley took control of the situation and voiced what she wanted.”
Love was inspired to share the special moment on TikTok because she wants fellow parents to know that “this antiquated trend of sitting on Santa’s lap doesn’t need to be the norm” during the holiday season. “We can still celebrate the joy of Christmas and Santa without making children feel in order to get presents they have to sit on a strange man’s lap,” she added.
As a parent, Love shared that she always tells her daughter it’s her choice whether she wants to hug or kiss someone, including family members. “Growing up, I was always taught to be polite and do as your told even if that meant having unwanted physical touch with someone,” she said. However, when it comes to her own children, Love maintained that Adley “doesn’t need to be uncomfortable to make someone else comfortable.”
For fellow parents wanting to teach their children about consent, Love suggested that it’s never too early for kids to learn about boundaries. “You can be gentle and affirming without making them feel like the world is a scary place,” she said. “We talk openly with Adley about control and body autonomy from a place of empowerment, so she feels like can conquer the world even at three-years-old!”
Last year, Washington parents Matthew and Aurelian Bourdeaux went viral when they shared their reasons for “refusing” to lie to their daughter about the existence of Father Christmas. The couple said they wish to take an “honest” approach to fictional characters, such as Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, and “don’t want to participate in global gaslighting”. They insisted they are not “taking away” any magic, and instead asked their nine-year-old daughter Helena if she would like to play “make-believe” and pretend the characters are real.
“Parents don’t need to tell any of their kids Santa or the Tooth Fairy is real – why would I participate in this large-scale global gaslighting?” Matthew said. “Before adopting our child, we researched parenting and thought of the potential psychological impact lying could have.”
“We decided we would never deceive her - parents don’t need to tell any of their kids this is real. It has normalised group lying and deception, it doesn’t need to be a part of society.”
