Sam’s Montpellier, Montpellier Courtyard, Montpellier Street, Cheltenham GL50 1SR (01242 252752). Earth £7.50-£10.50, Land £11-£15.50, Sea £12-£13, Heaven £8, wines from £25
At the start, our delightful waiter announces that the menu here at Sam’s Montpellier is “a little bit different”. That’s a four-word phrase guaranteed to strike fear into the heart of, well, me. What in God’s name is going to happen in this sharp-edged restaurant in Cheltenham, where life is meant to be as unchallenging as an episode of Countryfile? Am I going to have to lick a black pudding espuma from a plaster cast of the chef’s lips? Will each dish be spoon fed to me while I’m forced to wear headphones and listen to a soundtrack of Jacob Collier telling me which key I’m masticating in? It’s the middle of the jazz festival. It could happen. Oh no. It’s worse than that, isn’t it? It’s going to be starters in a dog bowl and desserts off a trowel. I just know it.
