Rylan Clark has bravely spoken out about the time he spent in a psychiatric ward after he attempted to take his own life following his split from husband, Dan Neal.
The Strictly Come Dancing It Takes Two host, 33, was admitted to the psychiatric facility last year after his six-year marriage to Dan broke down when Rylan confessed he had cheated on his husband 'years before' they tied the knot.
The TV host reveals in his new book, namely, The Decade That Changed My Future, he woke up one day and felt he needed to tell his boyfriend he cheated on him years ago but was left shocked and devastated when their marriage ended after his confession.
Following the shock split, Rylan said he 'didn't want to wake up anymore' and after attempting to take his own life, Rylan sought help in the psychiatric ward where he was placed into a room with walls that had 'no sharp edges'.
"I went through this period where I was annoyed that I’d wake up. All I could think about was, ‘How am I going to do this? How can I get out?’ It was sick," Rylan told the Sunday Times.
"It feels like a different person, now, that I’m talking about. I did not know who I was for that five months. But, yeah, I did try to end his life - unsuccessfully, luckily.
"I suppose it’s the easy way out, but I just could not see another way. I genuinely felt like the world was against me."
It was Rylan's suicide attempt at the age of 32 - which he is now thankful was not successful – that finally prompted him to get professional help.
Rylan says in his new book that he knew when he started experiencing suicidal thoughts that it was time to get help.
"I sat Mum down and told her I needed to be locked up," Rylan penned.
"I said, ‘I can’t do it any more.’ I could see in her eyes that she couldn’t believe what was happening to her baby. She called my big brother Jamie and my managers and they arranged for me to go to a mental health hospital where they knew I would be well looked after."
After spending a week in hospital, Rylan was finally allowed to come home and moved in with mum Linda.
But instead of getting back to his old self, he revealed he spent three months laid up 'hiding from the world'.
After another spell of bad thoughts, he was admitted to hospital for another week, which he describes as 'hell'.
Although living through the traumatic experience was one of the most painful things he’s ever gone through, Rylan says he hasn’t given up on finding ‘The One’.
The decade that changed my future by Rylan Clark is out on September 29 is published by Seven Dials.
*If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch.
