PITTSBURGH — The questions were soft to Mike Tomlin. The hosts of The Pivot podcast didn't ask about his recent playoff failures or the troubling number of players who have quit on him, most recently Melvin Ingram. This wasn't that kind of interview. The interrogators were former NFL players, their adulation for Tomlin evident. They practically gushed in his presence. The final 10 minutes were almost nauseating.
Having said all of that ...
The Pivot's 90-minute interview last week with Tomlin was sensational.
A relaxed Tomlin, sitting in his favorite easy chair in the basement of his home, wearing a T-shirt from his favorite charity, Man-Up Pittsburgh, showed a side of himself no one had seen in his 15 seasons as Steelers coach. He was thoughtful, candid, often inspiring. He made you want to put on shoulder pads and a helmet and play for him. All the credit goes to hosts Ryan Clark, Fred Taylor and Channing Crowder, who were able to pull back the curtain on what makes Tomlin tick. Clark played for Tomlin for seven seasons, helped him win Super Bowl XLIII and clearly is one of his favorites. "All he has to do is call and the answer is yes," Tomlin said.
It's a good thing Clark called to set up this interview.
"My failure as a player, I could never live with," Tomlin said early in the podcast, drawing understanding nods from the three former players. "I wanted to be a great player, and I wasn't. I never got over that. I take that same energy into coaching. I think that's why we all coach. We don't want to admit it, but we coach because we can't play, we could never play or we can no longer play."
Tomlin said he had no idea how his coaching career would go when he took his first NFL job at 28 in 2001 as Tony Dungy's defensive backs coach with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Tomlin, who came from a broken home, fretted about how to juggle the demands of his coaching position with fatherhood. He and his wife, Kiya, had a 3-month-old son, Dino, at the time. Tomlin said Dungy taught him plenty about taking care of his family, but he had to win the respect of his players — some were older than him — on his own.
"I did not want to let them dudes down," Tomlin said. "I came in every day with kind of an edge. I had no resume they could appreciate. I had no reputation they could appreciate. I came into this thing fighting every day to prove I belong, to help them dudes eat.
"As I established a resume, I didn't change that work pattern. I didn't change that mentality. Coaching is real simple to me. You help players realize their dreams. You help them feed their families. Then, in turn, you eat. How do I stay motivated? The men I'm working with change every year. ... I'm a competition junkie. I need it. I love it. I love being around it. That's what makes this game special."
Tomlin talked at length about a winning culture.
"The number one thing you have to do is create an environment where good deeds are rewarded and bad [stuff] has consequences. Helplessness is the worst component a team can have. Dudes have to believe they can rise up in the environment and become what they desire to be. ...
"I desire to create a culture where, first and foremost, people can be themselves. We've got a job to do. Football is our game; our business is winning. We waste a lot of damn energy trying to be appropriate. If you give people latitude to be their authentic selves, the collective is going to come together better. There are going to be moments [with all players]. ... But there are going to be so many more moments with what that dude is going to give to the cause."
Tomlin pointed at Clark and praised his commitment to his teammates.
"I can't give him five minutes to snap every now and then?" Tomlin asked. "In all likelihood, the snap is warranted in some way, or he's legitimately irritated some way that I recognize. His whole thing was don't insult his intelligence. If you're going to lead men, you've got to know them. You've got to know that about this dude. Shoot him straight. He'll do the rest. But we make the simple complex. To me, being emotional is giving a damn. Should you have to apologize for caring?"
It comes down to communication, Tomlin said.
"What makes a man tick? What's his fear? What's his motivation? I'm open to intimate relationships. As a leader, I better let it be known that I'm open because you can't do ordinary stuff and expect unique results. You better be willing to do unique things to achieve unique results. How do I create an atmosphere where that happens? I've got to be vulnerable. I've got to be open. I've got to be open to intimacy. I've got to help these dudes with every aspect of their life, football and otherwise. I've got to let them see me, my successes, my failures, everything. We all talk too much. Sharp dudes don't care what you say. They just watch you.
"I probably do have a talent for understanding people. But is it a talent? It's not. It's listening when they're talking. Coaches don't listen. They wait for dudes' mouths to stop moving. I sensed that as a player, and I hated it. I just try to be what I wanted leading me. When dudes are talking, I listen. I listen for real. I try to keep it real simple. People kill me for catchphrases. I'm trying to capture a thought succinctly without talking too much because I hate talking. I'd rather do. I laugh at that [phrase]: manage players. That's what we're paid to do. If everybody could learn, we'd need less coaches. If the group didn't need management, then we wouldn't make as much. I don't run away from coaching. I run to coaching. When you say someone can't learn, you're seeking comfort because your teaching is struggling."
Tomlin also talked about:
— Ben Roethlisberger's retirement and starting anew with quarterbacks Mitch Trubisky, Kenny Pickett and Mason Rudolph:
"First of all, [Roethlisberger's] talented. When you watch somebody do something at a certain level for so long, it messes up your perception about what's regular and what's not. The dude's arm talent was so special for so long that when you see special stuff every day, you get used to it. I've enjoyed that comfort. We all enjoyed that comfort. Now, I'm excited about being uncomfortable. Yeah, we might not have the type of quarterback play that we've had. We might not have the special talent that we've had. But we've got capable dudes, and we've got a team. We're also not allocating the damn money that we allocated to the position, so there's a redistribution of the money. There had better be a redistribution of the play-making. I'm looking forward to the anxiety that's associated with that uncertainty. It's scary, but exciting."
— Hiring Brian Flores despite Flores' lawsuit against the NFL over racial discrimination:
"I had an opportunity to get a quality dude who is more than a capable coach at a discount. I understand the other variables. But when he filed that lawsuit, I just imagined that people were moving away from this dude. I wanted him to know that I'm not moving away from him. This dude is an incredible football coach and a solid dude. I'm not going to let him sit out."
— A possible return of Antonio Brown to the Steelers even though he quit on the team late in the 2018 season:
"Y'all know that ain't happening. What I'll say about AB is, man, we had nine great years. I appreciate that dude in ways I can't explain to you. I don't think enough gets said about the will of that dude — unbelievable work ethic, the fearlessness he played the game, unbelievable belief in himself. I've never seen him blink on the football field. I've only seen him run into burning buildings. I had a ringside seat for all that special stuff."
— His famous catchphrase about not seeking comfort:
"I create comforts for my wife and kids. I resist comfort. Don't seek comfort. Seeking comfort is a natural human condition. We all want to be comfortable. I realize to achieve special outcomes you have to be comfortable being uncomfortable. Appreciating my resume is seeking comfort. I get my ass kicked, but my resume is still such and such? It stings my ears. I've trained myself to hate it. Hating it keeps me upright. Hating it keeps our program upright. That's the mode of operation I'm comfortable with. If I talk about it, damn, I've got to live it."
— Najee Harris:
"Najee is a born leader. He's got good football morals. He wants to be a part of what's right. That dude is a bell cow. He's going to have to be a bell cow for us. If this train is going anywhere in 2022, he's going to be a major component of it. He's capable. I'm not even talking about from a talent standpoint. We know that. I'm talking about he's capable from an intangible standpoint. That's a snapshot of what I'm excited about."
— His Steelers legacy:
"I resist it. It don't help me. It don't help me meet the day's challenges. I ain't seeking that comfort. Do I need to recognize it? I want Art [Rooney] to recognize it so he pays me appropriately. ...
"The game of football is about the men that play."
— Not allowing Clark to play in Denver after Clark nearly died in the high altitude after a previous game in Denver because of the sickle cell anemia trait:
"It was my job to care about the dude in that moment — even more than he maybe cared about himself. That's leadership, right?"
Clark jumped in at that point of the podcast to say how he had tried to sway Tomlin's decision with doctors who would allow him to play.
"I had 30 minutes ready for him, and he stopped me after five minutes: 'If you were my kid, I wouldn't even be having this conversation,'" Clark recalled. "I'll never forget that."
The look on Clark's face said it all: He was glad he played for Tomlin.
The looks shared by Taylor and Crowder also were telling: They wished they had.
