Sacking a manager is something I never, ever thought I would have to do.
But last Saturday evening, after the bitter disappointment of Macclesfield's FA Trophy defeat against Guiseley, I called Danny Whitaker into the boardroom and broke the news to him. Without a doubt, it is the worst feeling I have ever experienced in football.
When you look into the eyes and see the hurt of a club legend who probably deserves a statue for everything he's done at Macclesfield, it's soul-destroying. Danny Whitaker is a lovely bloke and he will always remain part of the Silkmen's heart and soul.
But I took the decision in the long-term interests of the club, and time will tell whether I've made the right one. If we don't go up this season, I know the criticism and hate on social media will be unpleasant.
And when I looked in the bathroom mirror the following morning, I didn't like the person I saw staring back at me. After a lifetime in football, I never thought I would be ruthless enough to fire a manager.
Already I've had people shouting “Get out of our club” and owner Rob Smethurst, who financed the rebirth of Macclesfield FC from the ashes of extinction, has even had messages saying “We would rather be bankrupt.” I find that hard to understand or accept. A bankrupt club is a club that does not exist.
But if we are to fulfil our dream of restoring Macclesfield to the Football League, we have to catch the wave and keep moving up through the divisions.
We cannot afford to tread water, or wait three or four years to make another move, because the fans will drift away if momentum is lost.
After the disappointment of a couple of recent results at home, I asked to take the day off from BT Sport last Saturday so I could watch the game against Guiseley and judge the performance for myself. We lost 2-0, had no shots on target and, in all key aspects of our data, the team's physical output was down around 12 per cent.
Danny was instrumental in us winning the title by 15 points last season, and it might seem strange to sack a manager who's top of the league again now.
I was acutely aware that I wasn't relieving an ordinary guy of his duties and he still has a full-time role to play working in our academy to show we still value him.
I might have found a ruthless streak I never knew I had, but I can't bring myself to throw Danny overboard and leave him out of work. He doesn't deserve that.
As a young manager in his first job, it's inevitable that he was going to make mistakes, but given our profile, budget and ambition, it's an unforgiving environment if you make mistakes in front of 3,500 people.
Losing in the FA Cup at Coalville Town to a 93rd-minute winner was a blow, losing at home to 1874 Northwich in the league didn't help and the Guiseley defeat made it three losses in five home games.
There appeared to be a trend setting in so, with the heaviest of hearts, Rob and I agreed we needed to act. From the outside, I admit it looks a heartless decision.
But Macclesfield FC is not an ordinary club in the Northern Premier League. The players don't train for 90 minutes two evenings a week on a Tuesday and Thursday – we train three mornings a week at the ground, and everything about the club is run along professional lines.
When we play at home, I expect us to win 99 per cent of the time because our opponents, with the greatest respect, don't have our budget or facilities.
Do we want to be an ordinary club, playing at an ordinary level, or do we want to be like AFC Wimbledon and harness the impetus of rebirth, taking us all the way back to the EFL?
Danny commands respect for everything he's done at Macclesfield, both in the Silkmen's original rise to Football League status and since the club was relaunched two years ago.
And I hope he will never know how much it hurt to tell him he was surplus to requirements as manager. I repeat: It's the most horrible, horrible feeling I have ever experienced in the game.
But I have every faith that David McNabb and Tim Lees, our new managerial double act who won the FA Vase and guided Warrington Rylands to three consecutive promotions, can keep us moving up through the divisions.
They were the outstanding applicants from a remarkable field of candidates who sent me texts and messages asking if they should put in for the job.
You wouldn't believe some of the names who got in touch – household names and former Premier League coaches - which shows the magnitude of the job.
Just in case they ever turn on me in future, I've screen-shotted a few of their messages – so I can remind them, if necessary, of the time they were asking me for a job!
But good luck to David and Tim. I know the team is in good hands, and I would love to think last weekend will be the first – and last – time I ever sack a manager.
As regular readers of this column will know, I have never called for a club to fire their boss, mainly because you don't often know the inner workings of a football club unless you've been there.
As director of football at Macclesfield, I know what's happening on and off the pitch. Much as I hated doing it, I honestly believe moving 'Whits' aside was the right thing to do.
I stand by my decision, but I know there will be people telling me we should have stood by Danny if we don't go up. When you are trying to make the right decisions for the club, some of them are painful.
But I never knew how bad it felt to sack a manager – and I never want to go through it again. Danny Whitaker still has a massive part to play at Macclesfield FC, and who knows? One day he could still come back as our manager. And if we don't go up, maybe I'll have to look at my own job.
