You have no superpowers in Deadpool. If you could have one superpower in real life, what would it be? TopTramp
Time travel. Even if I could go back 15 years and walk around the neighbourhood we’re in right now, that would just be amazing. And then do 30 years, 80 years, 1,000 years; I would never get tired of that. Then I would try to climb a pyramid. I don’t know if they let you do that or if they were guarded. Or go to an early Stevie Wonder concert.
If someone were to write you a lead in your own superhero movie, what would that role’s power be? What would they be called? Would you like a catchphrase? And who would play his sidekick/patsy? ShivvieMullen
Time travel guy, but I wouldn’t do anything helpful. I would just go to Stevie Wonder concerts and climb pyramids. And they’d be like: “That guy screwed up! My mom wasn’t born because instead of killing Mussolini or Hitler, that guy decided to climb a pyramid.” So they would chase me through time. My catchphrase would be: “Hmm, this is terrific,” right before I get shot by a time warrior. Samuel L Jackson would be my boss, who’d operate the time travel software and chastise me regularly. His catchphrase would be: “Come on, man! Again?!”
If you could work with one director/writer/actor in the world who would it be? mesm
I’m on a big Richard Linklater kick right now, because of the sheer tonnage of excellent movies he piles up. I was so impressed that Hit Man cost $9m. I love “cheap” movies, and, of course, it was excellent.
I was heavily influenced by Before Midnight, which seemed to me the truest account of the energy and effort required to maintain a marriage that I’d ever seen. His curiosity and his talent as a writer and director in tandem is pretty spectacular. He’s underrated despite being award-winning and very successful, because he’s rarely flashy. He’s also so consistent that maybe people take him for granted.
Dream project if money, rights (if relevant) and availability of other actors no issue? catmoderm
I love writing for TV, because it’s often about characters and whether you like them and how they do things rather than necessarily what happens. They’re not as plot-dependent as films. I could conceivably write something, I could conceivably get it on the air and I could conceivably rope in whomever to do it, maybe. That’s not impossible to imagine. It is impossible for me to imagine being able to afford all the music I’d want to put in. So: a Steely Dan-based kitchen sink drama. Ken Loach with jokes.
Would you say your finest acting is in Bitz & Bob? dothestrand
That’s a wonderful question. I’d say it’s up there. It’s a CBeebies show I am very proud to be a part of. As everyone knows, CBeebies is like the third parent in any family that raises children, and I love it so much that to be even a small part of something on there is such an honour. So yes, I absolutely put my best foot forward with Bitz & Bob and I’m so glad I was on it.
Do you ever think about where Rob, Sharon and family could be now, and if there’s more story to tell as Frankie grows up? BenRider92
That’s a great question. I don’t so much think about that because Catastrophe for me is like a snapshot, or a briefish family movie. So could something like Catastrophe work revisited years later? Absolutely, because the way that it looked at things could be useful and entertaining at different phases in a different part of life.
I hope we don’t make any more Catastrophe. I hope that I’m responsible enough with my family’s finances that I don’t feel that I have to. You should always leave them wanting more. Most reboots stink. You have to have a real reason for doing it and have something new to say, such as Steve Coogan and the Gibbons brothers have with This Time with Alan Partridge. That is vital, necessary art we would all be poorer without.
Maybe I haven’t lived enough since the last Catastrophe to feel justified in doing more of it. Also, I love disappointing people. People will hear there’s no more and they’ll be like: “Oh, darn.” I get a high off that.
Do you think your characters died at the end of Catastrophe? Ketchup_Catsip
I don’t. But that doesn’t matter any more than what any viewer thinks. We very much wanted to give the viewer the opportunity to make that decision. For me – and this is only one interpretation – they are in peril at the end, but they’ve been in peril for four whole series. And what have they done? They’ve banded together and worked through it and made it out the other side. So why would the ending be different? That is my feeling. I love that a lot of people think that they die, so feel free to disagree with me.
I found the ending of Catastrophe almost horrific. It was dreamlike and sinister, so I probably mean nightmarish. Did I get it completely wrong? Kbkc
No, I love hearing that. I co-wrote a situation-comedy and someone found the end of it sinister, horrific and nightmarish: that is gonna get me through the next month. That’s the greatest thing I’ve heard in a very long time.
When we were looking for reference stuff for that finale, we watched the beginning of the director’s cut of Michael Mann’s Miami Vice, which has go-fast boats and a camera coming in and out of big waves, way out in the ocean and is kind of scary. We also watched There Will Be Blood, when Daniel Plainview swims in some pretty big scary waves and that’s nightmarish.
What’s your favourite sitcom? And what’s your favourite episode of Curb? mesm
I think about I Love Lucy a lot. In this modern age of streaming, when an episode can be whatever length you want, I think it’s really important to respect your elders and remember to entertain. I don’t like things that are bloated. I am never not thinking about the audience and it’s much more important to me how they feel than I do. So I think about Lucille Ball just metronomically dropping the jokes around a good story, with a commercial break. You have to hit in that way. Even if the streaming service you’re on says they don’t care how long your episode is. There’s some laziness in modern TV, and a self-indulgence I don’t think I allow myself.
I have seen maybe a 20th of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I really like it a lot, it’s just having the number of children that I have, I can’t watch all the TV that I want. I will say that I have watched some Vince Vaughn episodes of Curb and I’m very grateful that Larry David and Vince Vaughn found each other. A lot of people slot into that show well and surprise you. I was shocked at how good Lin-Manuel Miranda was. He was amazing. And some people have not slotted in as well; they don’t quite get the rhythm.
How do you find comedy differs between the UK and the US? Do American audiences get it? Vammyp
I do think that American audiences get British comedy and I think British audiences get American comedy. When you get up to the big leagues professionally, if someone is funny here, they’re funny there. The difference for me is that I find the average British citizen to be funnier than the average American citizen. My theory for this is greater population density. In gigantic Oklahoma you spend your whole day without seeing anybody. Here, you’re bumping into people all the time and you have to lubricate that with some levity. New Yorkers are funnier than people from Oklahoma on average because of proximity. Living in a city is psychologically healthy.
How do you get to be good-looking, clever, funny and nice? Is that fair? Misadventurer
Thank you. Good-looking? That’s in the eye of the beholder. There are people who think I’m good-looking and there are people who don’t. They’re both right. If I’m clever, it’s maybe because I read a lot. Funny? I’m grateful that the way that I synthesise information and send it back to people means they laugh at it sometimes. Nice is the only one that I think is a decision. I do try to be nice because it takes just as much time to be nice as it does to be a jerk. Why not be nice? Life is very, very difficult and very painful a lot of the time. Why would I add to that? Is it fair? No, it’s not fair. Life is not fair. It’s awful. And then you die.
I can imagine that you’ve got an interesting collection of CDs, vinyl and – maybe – some cassette tapes as well. Which or who would be your go-to band/musician/album and why? Sungold01
I am doing a forensic study of Beck right now. Really listening to the albums from top to bottom, again and again, and finding that very rewarding. Also the band Grizzly Bear and any side projects or solo projects. I really do like to break it down and just focus on one instrument, and I find that the music of both those groups rewards that sort of very nerdy, academic listening style.
I once walked by you in Camden in north London and wanted to approach you and say hi, but stopped myself. How do you feel about celebrity, and about complete strangers approaching you to have a chat? cocteau88
I have two different feelings about that. If I’m with my kids or my wife, turn around and walk in the opposite direction, even if it means you don’t get to go where you’re going. Don’t look at me, don’t even breathe. If I’m by myself, come on up and say hi! It’s not that I don’t wanna meet you when I’m with my family, it’s just that I don’t want my kids to think that their dad is anything other than a normal person. So I’m trying to preserve that for as long as possible.
Hash browns in a full English? A slice or two of black pudding? And, of course, how do you like your eggs? What is your go-to full English combo and how do you like it served? (Baked beans in a ramekin?!) Murdomania
I love a full English. Really important to me is the half a tomato. I’ve read that by cooking the tomato, it releases more lycopene, which they say is very good for you. Why does black pudding taste good? It’s gross that it exists, but Christ, it’s good. So those are the two things I think most deeply about.
As a short-arse, I’ve often found myself blocked from any view behind a less vertically challenged individual. On realising this, most people insist I move in front, even though I probably still can’t see much. I often wonder how far back the tall people end up, and how fair this is. Do you ever get to be at the front? Is there a correlation between longsightedness and tallness to compensate? bigflatfeet
That’s a good question. I can see very well from far away, but even as I read this question, I’m wearing my glasses because I can no longer see things up-close. I am conscious of it and I do deliberately stand at the back in all situations because I’m 6ft 4in, which is not freakishly tall, but it’s too tall. It can ruin things for people.
How important is your Irish heritage in all you do, be it politics or screen? Are you aware of those who have gone before you within your family, and do you tap into it as you write? EmperorofCork
Not in any way. Couldn’t be less important. Yes, my Irish heritage is important to me emotionally, and in the context in which I experience things and see things. But how would I put in specifically Irish politics? I guess the relationship between Ireland and the UK has a very lopsided, terrible dynamic. So if I were to interpret that, then, yes, I do fight for the underdog and I am willing to die for ideals. I think that is important to my politics, but how that translates to screen, I have no idea. I’m reading Neil Jordan’s recent autobiography. That might help me to better answer that question because he’s one of my favourite artists in any medium.
In terms of the second part: my dad died a couple years ago of leukaemia that he got from Agent Orange, during an American war of empire he was drafted to go and fight because he was poor. So that’s bad and sad. That couldn’t not inform the writing that I do now because that’s very unfair. It’s not unique, and it’s nothing compared to what happened to people in Vietnam as a result of what the American military did there. But I am in the process of dealing with and metabolising the fact that my dad died earlier than he would have otherwise for a pretty bad couple of reasons that were a result of political decisions. So I like that question. It’s something I’m thinking about.
• Deadpool & Wolverine is out on 25 July
