Oprah Winfrey, the American talk show host, once said, “Everybody that I had on the show, at the end of the show, would whisper something to me like ‘Was that okay? Was that okay?’” And that “everybody”, she went on to say, included the likes of former U.S. Presidents Barack Obama, and George Bush. What Oprah’s guests on the show were seeking is what is known as “external validation”.
The first thing a child looks for is validation or recognition from the parents on accomplishing something. But as one grows up, while the need or the urge for external validation continues, it is not necessarily the only kind of encouragement one strives for. Of course, there are many of us who feel terribly deflated if we don’t get the kind of appreciation or validation that we expect from others. While it is true that most of us would want some kind of external validation (with no criticism would be even better!) to pep us up, it is important not to have ourselves enslaved by this. It is said, even with some causticity, that “when you depend on other people to build you up, you are also giving them the power to break you down…”
One has often seen the unfazed manner in which quite a few achievers take praise and recognition that come their way. There is a quiet acceptance of the recognition which one gets without ever being “swept off the feet”.
