Richard Osman says that people will always tell you who they are, if you listen. So, I listen, and he tells me – somewhat urgently – that he is not a nerd. Nerd-presenting, perhaps. Most explicitly as the creator of TV quizshows and host of BBC One’s Pointless. Absolutely not a nerd. The evidence he supplies, twitching his shoulders and tugging his jacket as if to do it up, is that he does not like superheroes. He does not like sci-fi (despite, he jokes, marrying the Doctor Who actor Ingrid Oliver), does not have “nerd hobbies”, such as chess. Correction: he did like chess, he just wasn’t “very” good. So, how would he describe himself? “Testosterone-y, a huge sports lover. I’m fairly alpha at times.” Trouble is, this rippling machismo “is all hidden under a fairly gentle exterior”.
I take in the gentle exterior. He’s dressed in shades of blue, bloodhound features behind trademark specs. Minutes earlier, he told me, “I love statistics.” He explained his formula for “decoding” the world. He said, “I’m an alpha introvert.” Top of the sports he enjoys is snooker. He chose the theme tune from the BBC’s snooker coverage as one of his Desert Island Discs, has encyclopedic knowledge of the game and goes to the world championships. Perhaps I’ve misunderstood “nerd”. Perhaps Richard Osman is a man of contradictions. Here is another: behind him, through the window of this office in Westminster, is the MI6 building across the river. It sits as if on his left shoulder. Appropriate because Osman was given “the tap” while at Cambridge; took a series of “fun” spy tests which – ultimately – he failed. “They just said, ‘No, it’s fine.’” He did war-gaming scenarios, chatted to people “who got older and posher throughout the day. Honestly,” his voice develops an insistent edge, “I would have been terrible. I’m too tall [6ft 7in], not bright enough, and if I have a secret, I tell everybody. You could not find a worse spy.” Also: “I cannot tell a lie.”
