Richard E. Grant was 'beaming from ear to ear' as he shared a touching gift inspired by 'the precious words' left behind by his late wife - but he’s also revealed how he still cries every day.
The Can You Ever Forgive Me? actor took to Instagram to post a photo where he was holding a colourful, golden mirror sign created in tribute to his late wife’s words - to 'try and find a pocketful of happiness in every day'.
Richard was married to his late wife, Joan Washington, since 1986, before she passed away aged 74 in September 2021, eight months after she was diagnosed with lung cancer. They share daughter, Olivia.
Since her passing, Richard has spoken candidly and movingly of the grief he’s felt - grief that he doesn’t want to get over, as he most recently shared with Paloma Faith.
Appearing on her podcast, Mad Sad & Bad, Richard talked about how he still 'cannot compute she’s gone'.
He said, 'It's four years since my wife of 38 years died, and I understand it rationally, that I will never see, touch, talk to her ever again. But, emotionally, my brain cannot compute that she's gone'.
He added that he 'just instinctively started writing to her, every night' in a way to stay connected. This is something he’s touched on in the past, telling the Telegraph that he still talks to Joan each day, via email.
'I have no woolly spiritual delusion that she’s hearing this, or that I’m going to get a response, but it somehow keeps the connection going,' he explained. 'So, I write to her - 'Dear J, today would really have amused you...' It makes it feel like that person is still there - it’s an ongoing conversation.'
While appearing on Paloma’s podcast, he also talked about 'the trick of memory' that allows him to remember the best parts of his life with Joan.
'The trick of memory is so extraordinary, in that, a year ago, I only remembered her in full health, rather than in poor health for the last eight months of her life. So, if I suddenly find a picture of her on my phone of when she was ill, it's a real shock, because my memory has sort of reconfigured, which I suppose is what you do, your survival instinct to only remember the good bits.'
He continued, 'Out of the 38 years we were together, only eight months of those 38 years were in diminishing health. So, relatively, I remember the good bits.'
When asked by Paloma if he thinks one can ever recover from loss, he replied that he doesn’t actually want to.
'I don't think of it like that, I think that it's something that you navigate your way round it, and you don't get over it.
'When people come out with the platitudes, all well-meaning as it is, saying ‘oh time will heal’ or ‘you'll get over it’, I've not thought of it that way, I've not wanted to get over it because it’s almost like you’re saying that person’s life is finished and done with.'
Proving that he’s very much in touch with his emotions, Richard also shared with Paloma that he cries 'every day' - though they aren’t always sad tears.
He told the singer and Celebrity Traitors star, 'I cry every single day: from grief, from joy, from the news.'
