More than half of men with eating disorders in the UK have never received treatment, according to a new survey by leading charity Beat. Until a couple of years ago, Chris Hayter fell into this category, having battled a decade-long eating disorder without any professional help.
Chris was just 16 years old when his whole world turned upside down and he began bingeing and purging to cope at home. He felt unable to talk about his mental health and struggles with food - and nobody questioned him.
As a young gay man, it was deemed normal for Chris to restrict his weight and focus on his appearance. After finally reaching out for support, the 31-year-old is sharing his story to help other men who feel too ashamed, confused or embarrassed to speak up.
Chris, from King's Lynn, Norfolk, told the Mirror: "I've always been anxious and sensitive to comments about my appearance and weight.
"It wasn't until I was 16 and my parents separated that I noticed I relied on my restrictive relationship with food as a coping mechanism. Bingeing and purging became a regimented routine.
"At the age of 17, it really took control of me and halted my life. I didn't want to engage in anything that could expose my eating disorder.
"I didn't go to university, although I would have loved to, and I didn't learn to drive. Everything was surrounded by me losing weight and keeping it off.
"I could have come out as gay a lot earlier, but I was even scared how that would affect it."
In retrospect, Chris believes toxic stereotypes and prejudices had a lot to with other people's perceptions about his eating disorder.
"It was the norm for a 21-year-old gay man to be worried about calories and care a lot about looks, but actually I had a horrible eating disorder that was controlling all of that," he said.
Despite having a large and trustworthy support network, Chris found it "physically debilitating" to open up to his inner circle.
He would simply lie about his habits and tell close friends and family that he was on a health kick or there was nothing to worry about.
Then during lockdown, Chris had a painful relapse and was encouraged by his loving partner to book an appointment with his GP.
"Eating more and exercising less became an issue for me. I noticed that I'd put on weight and resorted back to bulimic behaviours," Chris said.
"My thoughts were scary at that time and I knew I needed professional help. I couldn't continue relying on myself."
Chris was referred to an eating disorder service and has now had three years of therapy that's helped him to understand and recognise his habits.
From no longer getting painful mouth ulcers and bloating to being able to openly talk about his anxiety, Chris feels like a different person.
He recently graduated from the Open University and now wants to do a masters, as well as hoping to start a family someday.
"I still struggle with guilt and restriction and I can't imagine never having some sort of hold over my relationship with food and my body," Chris said.
"But my goal is to not let it control my life anymore. It's a slow process but it's been ground-breaking.
"If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be: 'Don't do it on your own. Please reach out to someone for help'."
Chris recognises that his recovery has been impacted by gay stereotypes, but he also highlights that heterosexual men have their own prejudices too.
"There are different stereotypes but the issues remain the same. We've been taught that men don't have the same issues with food as women," Chris said.
This Eating Disorders Awareness Week, Beat is campaigning to break the stigma surrounding male eating disorders, dispel harmful stereotypes and encourage men to reach out for help.
If you're worried about your own or someone else's health, you can contact Beat on 0808 801 0677 or beateatingdisorders.org.uk.
