As more and more young people in Vietnam are delaying marriage, often due to career ambitions or the difficulty of finding the right partner, a new trend has emerged. Dozens of social media groups now offer paid partner services.
Dozens of "lovers for hire" groups have popped up on social media, attracting hundreds of thousands of members. While this service has existed for over a decade with most clients being men seeking girlfriends. However, in recent months, the number of women hiring boyfriends for dates and family introductions has swelled.
According to a forum administrator with over 20,000 members, there has been a surge in members seeking men to pose as boyfriends, mostly to satisfy the growing pressure from their parents.
Minh Thu, a 30-year-old from Nam Dinh province in northern Vietnam, is one of many women navigating the complexities of modern dating. She has not dated in five years due to the demands of her job. But when her parents insisted, she could only return home for the Lunar New Year with her boyfriend to meet their desire for grandchildren, the pressure became unbearable.
To satisfy their expectations, Minh Thu hired a man to act as her boyfriend, spending a few million Vietnamese Dong (several hundred US dollars) to secure his services.
The man, five years older than Minh Thu, was a construction engineer with skills in cooking and wine tasting, she shared. They spent a week getting ready for the home visit, exchanging family backgrounds and building an 'emotional connection.'
On the day he visited her home, the hired boyfriend helped her mother in the kitchen, chatting with relatives and making a great impression. Minh Thu noted, "It's been a long time since I've seen my parents so happy and proud of me."
The rising trend of renting a boyfriend is attracting widespread attention on social media. Many users are quick to point out the benefits of this arrangement, with one online observer commenting, "Marrying without a successful career just leads to a lot of problems. Renting a partner is a win-win – it makes your parents happy and alleviates pressure on you."
For others, like 25-year-old Huy Tuan from Hanoi, acting as a fake boyfriend has become a lucrative side gig. Over the past year, Tuan has worked for several clients, carefully cultivating the skills necessary to meet their various expectations.
"I have to go to the gym, learn to sing, cook, take photos, and work on my conversation skills to meet the expectations of many clients," he explained.
To maintain quality and manage demand, Tuan limits himself to just three or four clients per month. Prices for his services vary, with a two-hour coffee date or shopping trip costs a few hundred thousand Vietnamese Dong (roughly US$10 to US$20). Family meetings, however, command higher fees, with rates reaching up to 1 million Vietnamese Dong ($40).
Khanh Ngoc, 33, who has never been in a relationship, turned to the rental boyfriend service after feeling the weight of family expectations. She rented a boyfriend who was four years younger than her and described how their first meeting left a lasting impression on her parents. "Since then, my relationship with my parents has improved," she shared.
Rental contracts typically come with strict terms. Clients and service providers agree to avoid any emotional involvement, and sexual harassment is explicitly prohibited.
While many see the trend as an innovative solution to reduce family pressure, experts are cautious, warning about the emotional and social risks involved.
Nguyen Thanh Nga, a researcher at the Academy of Journalism and Communication in Vietnam, cautioned: "If exposed, families could experience significant emotional damage and lose trust. Additionally, renting a partner is not legally protected in Vietnam, so women should be especially cautious."
There are others who express concerns about the emotional toll this trend could take on families. One commenter reflected, "I can't imagine how heartbreaking it would be for parents to find out it was a lie."
