A relationship expert has warned parents who are in an unhappy marriage that their children are likely to pick up on household tensions.
Paul Carrick Brunson, a relationship counsellor and matchmaker, appeared on ITV’s Lorraine on Friday morning (14 April) to answer questions from viewers.
One viewer asked if it is better to stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of their children, to which Brunson firmly said no.
“This is a tough one because I understand the desire to stay in the marriage because you think you’re doing it for your children, but it’s actually not the best option, most of the time,” he said.
“If you are in an unhappy marriage, I guarantee you your children know. And chances are there’s conflict, or maybe there’s no emotion at all, and what you’re doing is, your child is learning how to model their behaviour on you, and what they see their parents doing.”
Brunson continued: “This ultimately leads to depression, stress, anxiety, and worst of all, it leads to them conducting their relationship the same way.
“So I advocate for divorce in a situation like that. You can create a more stable environment for your child and you can model proper behaviour, which is self-love.”
Another viewer asked when the right time to walk away from a relationship is, to which Brunson replied: “If you’re asking that question and you have no desire to be in that relationship, that’s probably too much.
“Don’t feel shamed to stay in a relationship. Pop culture makes us feel like the worst thing in life is being alone. No. The worst thing in life is being in a relationship and still being alone.”
The expert, who is known for co-hosting Married At First Sight UK and Celebs Go Dating, also weighed in on vow renewals after Jamie Oliver renewed his vows with wife Jools.
Explaining what he liked about the TV chef’s vow renewal, Brunson said that Oliver’s decision to carry it out in front of his and Jools’ five children would “model good behaviour”.
“Ultimately, there’s no secret to a successful marriage other than hard work, other than making sure that you compromise when you’re going through difficulty, other than quality time, that’s the only ‘secret’ to a strong marriage,” he added.
