It is 22 years to the day since Maria felt the familiar rush of dopamine after feeding her last $50 bill into a poker machine.
What started as a frivolous 20-cent flutter on the Sunday raffles quickly developed into a dangerous addiction — one that would end before a magistrate.
"That was probably the beginning of the start of my real life," the Newcastle resident, now in her 60s, reflected.
"Most compulsive gamblers don't recognise the depth of what they're doing until they hit rock bottom."
Maria, whose surname the ABC has chosen not to use, said her addiction intensified after her husband suffered a work-related accident and she became the sole breadwinner.
"Then came the day I won something big. The first big win is usually how it starts," she said.
"You don't equate the numbers on the screen to the dollars in your hand … until you run out."
Maria turned to "white-collar crime" to sustain her addiction.
"I knew what I was doing wasn't good but just couldn't stop," she said.
Confessing to her husband was "an unbelievably horrendous day".
"When it came to the court case, I was ready to say, 'take me away' because I felt I deserved it," she said.
"But the judge said to my solicitor, 'Aren't you going to bring up her illness?'
"I could well have gone to jail but I didn't. Because the judge recognised that I had a problem."
The road to recovery
Maria vividly remembers the day her husband dropped her at her first Gamblers Anonymous meeting.
"I went through a whole box of tissues, probably broke the hand of the lovely little lady who was sitting next to me.
"When [my husband] picked me up, he said, 'How was it?'
"All I remember saying was, 'I'm not alone.'"
It is a feeling she now channels into her work to help others struggling with gambling addiction.
"The mind of a compulsive gambler is no different to someone who's addicted to substance abuse.
"It's such a soul-destroying addiction."
According to experts, Maria's situation is common.
Associate Professor Charles Livingstone is a gambling researcher at Monash University.
He said, in NSW, the ratio of people to poker machines was 88 to one.
"It's not as high as Nevada but it's probably about the second or third-highest-rated poker machine per capita in the western world."
He said, last year, NSW residents spent more than $7.5 billion on poker machines.
"NSW is clearly the throbbing heart of Australia's gambling business," he said.
A pilot project is currently underway in the NSW Hunter region to reduce gambling risk.
The cashless gaming trial started at Wests New Lambton in Newcastle in October last year.
Participants are able to set limits over a number of parameters, including session length and amount spent.
The trial is expected to finish later this year with a report to be prepared for the Independent Liquor and Gaming Authority.
Professor Livingstone said, if successful, people would need to be convinced to use the technology.
"You've got to persuade people to use this system; it's certainly the best solution that's been developed so far," he said.
While Maria said it was not the whole answer, she said anything that could "slow down" an addiction was a step in the right direction.
"At least with something like that, you can gain some sort of control," she said.
"I know that if I hadn't been able to accelerate the way I did, I think the outcome would have been different."
