If William Shakespeare – or Florence Nightingale, or Attila the Hun, or Julius Caesar, or Jane Austen, or Pocahontas – was dropped in Trafalgar Square, London, what would they find most unusual? And how would we explain it to them? Giles, Suffolk
Send new questions to nq@theguardian.com.
Readers reply
That depends on an important clarification – from what height?HaveYouFedTheFish
I think their first question might be, “What’s the wifi password?” Catchytitled
What if Shakespeare were dropped in modern-day London? tiofrancisco.
If it were done, when ’tis done he would notice the subjunctive is on its way out jno50
But happy to hear “gotten” is coming back? whood
He might wonder what a get-go is; but then, so do I. jno50
The noise in people’s homes in general. TV, music, phones, video games … nina1414
Julius Caesar would go down the river and have a blast looking at the bridges. He might also try to invade Waterloo, while he is at it. Plastictrees
Shakespeare would be chuffed to the gills at all the pubs named after him. Charismata
I’m sure those of the famous historical figures listed who had encountered coffee would be astonished at the many ways humanity has transformed a simple, virtuous cup into a disgusting, syrupy, overpriced takeaway of depression and disappointment (I’m very sorry, but I pour my inner reserves of anger into feeling very strongly about this in an attempt to ignore the fact that the world outside is burning). artisticallyinclined
I’m sure Shakespeare would remind us, as eternally optimistic Gonzalo does in The Tempest, when he reassures his far more infamous comrades marooned on a island in the middle of nowhere:
The air breathes upon us here most sweetly …
Here is everything advantageous to life …
All things in common nature should produce
Without sweat or endeavor; treason, felony,
Sword, pike, knife, gun, or need of any engine
Would I not have; but nature should bring forth
Of its own kind all foison [plenty], all abundance,
To feed my innocent people …
I would with such perfection govern, sir,
T’ excel the Golden Age.
RP Orlando, by email
Attila, not having been here before, would be baffled. Of the rest, Nightingale would recognise it – Trafalgar Square and the National Gallery were created about 70 years before she died. Austen would probably find the Georgian streets she visited were still here. Caesar and Pocahontas might just about recognise the river. jno50
It would be more interesting to see the reactions of locals and visitors to a pile of skeletons dumped in the middle of the city among hundreds of pigeons. getomov
Shakespeare would be delighted as he’d have 400 years of monarchs to write plays about. Austen would observe conversations about relationships and see that not much has changed. Attila the Hun would be whispering in Starmer’s ear that the UK government should send him to America to advise Trump on his war on Iran. Julius Caesar would wryly comment that politicians still betray each other and tell Shakespeare to write another play about it. And Pocahontas would be pleased that marriage between people of different heritage is not such a big thing these days. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose. GrasmereGardens
I reckon they might notice that prices had gone up. Machine2
After his initial disgust Shakespeare would immediately find a way to get to Stratford-upon-Avon. He’d be appalled to find his home town as it is. The demolition of the great house he had built and died in would appal him and his birthplace museum, though it might amuse him, would leave him cold. As for the pathetic attempts the town makes to be mock Shakespearean: he’d laugh at that, too. He would not understand the veneration in which he is held, and he would be puzzled by the constant recycling/reimagining of his plays. He would gladly go back to wherever he came from. Paul Cooper, by email
I would think the fact that they’d been dragged unwilling from the grave back to life would be uppermost in their minds. Especially if they suspect we’re planning on sending them back there after doing our survey. unclestinky
If William Shakespeare, Florence Nightingale and Jane Austen were all “dropped” together, they might find it unusual that they’ve each been featured on Bank of England notes over the years. The fact that those notes’ collective value (£40) wouldn’t buy them breakfast in central London these days might take a bit of explaining. EddieChorepost
Sure it would, if Austen could just persuade herself that a Double Bacon & Egg McMuffin is breakfast. jno50
Wouldn’t they immediately choke to death on air impossibly polluted to anyone who existed before the industrial revolution? Catkin20
Not necessarily. Consider all the smoke from the wood fires that were their only source of heat, or way to cook. tiofrancisco
By Elizabethan times London households were burning “sea coal”. The smoke levels would be higher than today. Don’t forget there were no large sewer works until the 1800s, and transport was largely horse-powered. The overwhelming smell in summer months was untreated sewage. Those who could afford to moved their families out to the country. leadballoon
After a change of clothes and a few updates on 400 years of historical and technological developments, I imagine Shakespeare would delight in just walking around and listening to people’s conversations. He’d notice, as words turned into sentences and sentences into paragraphs, how little, superficially, the language had changed. Then he’d think: ’tis passing strange. Methinks I do understand the words, methinks I do understand the sentences. But when I get to the end of the paragraph, I haven’t got a clue what these people are talking about. Simon Chapman, Marseille, France
They would probably think that everyone in the world had gone mad, walking around talking to themselves (but actually using their mobile phones with earbuds). Peridot. In reply: Shakespeare would just think they were soliloquising. jno50
I thought that back in the 1990s when I was crossing some open park near London Fields. Some guy was walking towards me, muttering – to himself I thought. Then I saw some earphones and a wire and realised he was on the phone. nin1414
William Shakespeare upon arrival in the present day would probably breathe a sigh of relief that the monarchy had stopped making cat noises. Long before it was Trafalgar Square, it was the place of the King’s Mews.
If Attila was to be dropped in Trafalgar Square I expect he’d be rather confused at first. As it’s a well known meeting place, especially for couples who do tend to greet each other with, “Hi Hun”, his probable reaction, after a minute or two of being not only ignored but having part of his name used by “hoi-polloi”, would be to wave his arms around and shout “Oi!”, before being consumed with jealousy and rage. The crowds would flee, he’d push Nelson’s Column over with his bare hands, and bite the heads off Landseer’s lions. Then he’d storm the National Gallery and severely criticise the paintings. All of course before the rest of the Huns arrived.
As to explanations, you don’t explain things to Attila the Hun, you leg it a bit sharpish. bricklayersoption
Pocohontas would look around and feel she did not know where she was but be thinking, “Something tells me I have been here before!” Gregbythebay
I don’t know what they’d think but you’d certainly have a most excellent adventure and a fine opportunity to complete your high-school class project, just like Bill and Ted. Dorkalicious
Shakespeare might say: “I prefer it saff ovvuh rivah.” PeteTheBeat.
Is that a Warwickshire accent? I have heard it said he’d sound more American than modern English. jno50
What would Shakespeare find most unusual? The robot street performers and the floating Yoda, probably. mrfloydthursby
He’d probably be in search of a horse! a horse! His kingdom for a horse! Sagarmatha1953
Admiral Nelson: “Can someone remove this pigeon shit from my head?” catchytitled
