It’s officially college football bowl season! It not only means more awesome (and sometimes really bad but also still great) football before a new national champion is crowned, but it also means it’s time for winning coaches to get some ridiculous celebratory baths.
What once started as a victorious Gatorade bath for the winning team’s coach has evolved into something so much more during bowl season. And sometimes, the contents of those giant jugs don’t even remotely resemble Gatorade. Or water.
The coaches’ celebratory baths have evolved lately with them sometimes being related to the bowl games’ sponsors. And that’s made the jubilant post-game scenes even better, as coaches now give on-field interviews covered in snacks or beverages — and, eventually, a major condiment.
So as the 2022 college football bowl season kicks off, we’ve ranked the nine best things that should go in the coolers for players to dump on their coaches. These are purely edible suggestions, as fun as it would be to see the winning coach from the Myrtle Beach Bowl get a cooler full of sand dumped on him. And the ranking and items suggested are based on the bowl’s sponsors, the bowl name itself and other random things.
Bowl organizers: Please feel free to take every single one of these proposals.
9
Capital One Orange Bowl: No. 6 Tennessee vs. No. 7 Clemson
Orange juice bath: This seems like an oh-so-obvious one that makes you wonder why on earth teams haven’t been pouring gallons of orange juice over their coaches’ heads this whole time. Dabo Swinney or Josh Heupel covered in OJ while doing post-game interviews? Come on, that’d probably be good TV.
8
Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl: Pitt vs. No. 18 UCLA
Frosted Flakes bath: We’ve seen this one before, and it’s a quirky alternative to a beverage of some kind. And while we welcome unconventional celebratory baths – along with the ridiculousness of the sponsored bowl name — watching someone get a few boxes of cereal poured over their head isn’t as thrilling as you’d think. Plus, the fact that it’s kind of hard to tell on TV what exactly it is kind of distracts from what should be an amazing moment (even if the on-field photos are awesome).
HE NEEDS SOME MILK 🗣️🥛
Central Michigan's coach got a Frosted Flakes bath.
(via @MACSports)pic.twitter.com/VDh31U8Vg7
— Yahoo Sports (@YahooSports) December 31, 2021
7
College Football Playoff Semifinal, Peach Bowl: No. 4 Ohio State vs. No. 1 Georgia
Peach bath: Now, whole peaches or even peach slices might hurt a little bit, and we’re not trying to suggest intentionally injuring anyone. So that’s why we’re going with the canned variety. Canned peaches are soft and slimy and would pair perfectly atop the head of a winning football coach.
6
Cheez-It Citrus Bowl: No. 17 LSU vs. Purdue
Lemon (or another kind of citrus) juice bath + Cheez-Its: If the Orange Bowl gets orange juice, shouldn’t the Citrus Bowl winners celebrate with some kind of citrus juice? Lemon or lime juice are obvious options here, but they could also go with something more fun like tangerine, yuzu or grapefruit. But then what about the Cheez-Its? Citrus-flavored Cheez-Its? Cheez-Its splashed with lime juice? Soggy Cheez-Its marinated in lemon juice?
5
Allstate Sugar Bowl: No. 5 Alabama vs. No. 9 Kansas State
Sugar bath: There are so many options for fun here that it’s incredible a sugar bath hasn’t become a thing yet. You could go with granulated sugar, brown sugar, sanding sugar, powdered sugar and so much more, or you could do something made of sugar, like sprinkles or sugar cookies.
And, should Alabama win, powdered Nick Saban would almost certainly provide the internet with its latest great meme.
4
Famous Idaho Potato Bowl: Eastern Michigan vs. San Jose State
French fry bath: Spuds abundant! We’ve seen this one before too, and it’s fantastic — subsequent unsportsmanlike penalties aside. The fries go everywhere, players can grab a quick snack off a coach’s back and, let’s be honest, the product placement here works. You’ll want your own fries too.
FRENCH FRY BATH 🍟 @IDPotatoBowl | @wyo_football pic.twitter.com/uL7oBGFQqK
— ESPN (@espn) December 22, 2021
3
Wasabi Fenway Bowl: Cincinnati vs. Louisville
Wasabi bath: OK, so, this might not work, and players might need giant spoons to get it out, but how can you have a bowl game with wasabi in the name and not offer up a wasabi bath?! (Yes, the sponsor is actually Wasabi Technologies, which, to the best of my knowledge, doesn’t actually have anything to do with the plant or condiment, but who cares?) Try a celebratory wasabi bath at least once. It’ll probably be worth it, either for the hilarity of watching players try to get it out of a giant jug or for the plop of it on top of a coach’s head.
2
Cheez-It Bowl: Oklahoma vs. No. 13 Florida State
Cheez-It bath: Obviously. We’ve seen this kind of bath before, and it doesn’t disappoint. There’s something undeniably comical about getting a Cheez-It bath — though the same can be said sometimes about the game itself. In addition to Cheez-Its being an awesome snack, there’s something delightfully absurd about their presence at a sporting event, so let’s keep pouring buckets over coaches’ heads.
A CHEEZ-IT BATH FOR DABO 🧀 pic.twitter.com/Ei7nGt7AJo
— ESPN (@espn) December 30, 2021
1
Duke's Mayo Bowl: Maryland vs. No. 23 N.C. State
MAYO BATH: A ginormous vat of mayonnaise. Seriously, what more could you possibly want than to see the winning coach of the Duke’s Mayo Bowl — either or — covered in mayo? After college football fans’ souls were crushed a couple years ago when the bowl did not actually offer a mayo bath, the bowl rectified that last season. And South Carolina’s Shane Beamer was a terrific sport about getting doused with mayo — and knocked in the head with the mayo jug — after the Gamecocks beat North Carolina. The moment was great, the photos were fantastic and the whole thing was wonderfully gross.
MAYO BATH pic.twitter.com/GQh03Beue1
— Duke's Mayo Bowl (@DukesMayoBowl) December 30, 2021
