March Madness is HERE.
And we know the next few days until the first round of the 2023 NCAA men’s tournament will be filled with you filling out your bracket, erasing it, filling it out again, tweaking it, tweaking it again and then making last-second changes before tip-off Thursday.
If you’re into doing deep research with stats, rankings, and history involved… then this isn’t the list for you.
This is the seventh annual version of the list to help you pick your bracket based on team nicknames or mascots.
My completely non-scientific system is based on a combination of moniker creativity, how threatening the mascot is and, sometimes, the look of the costumed thing.
Away we go:
68. Illinois Fighting Illini
There was apparently a push to get the belted kingfisher bird to be the university’s new mascot, but with no mascot at the moment, I have to put them at the bottom of the list along with some other mascot-less schools. At least they got rid of their previous mascot that was rightfully deemed offensive.
I haven’t seen anything indicating that the kingfisher has been pushed through, so we’ll keep them here for now.
67. San Diego State Aztecs
Again, universities with no mascots get ranked low — I haven’t seen anything about what they replaced the insensitive Aztec Warrior with.
66. Indiana Hoosiers
65. Arizona Wildcats
I say this every year: Wildcats is so bland and used by so many programs. Change the name!
64. Northwestern Wildcats
63. Kentucky Wildcats
62. Kansas State Wildcats
61. Auburn Tigers
There are also too many tigers!
60. Princeton Tigers
59. Texas Southern Tigers
58. Memphis Tigers
57. Missouri Tigers
56. Pittsburgh Panthers
The big cats that aren’t tigers or wildcats get extra points.
55. Montana State Bobcats
54. Vermont Catamounts
53. Charleston Cougars
52. Houston Cougars
51. Creighton Bluejays
As an editor, this drives me up the wall. IT’S BLUE JAYS, NOT BLUEJAYS. TYPO!
50. Nevada State Wolf Pack
49. N.C. State Wolfpack
They should play each other to figure out who gets the correct format.
48. Baylor Bears
Bears are scary.
47. UCLA Bruins
46. Southeastern Missouri State Redhawks
We like a splash of color.
45. Marquette Golden Eagles
44. Oral Roberts Golden Eagles
43. Kent State Golden Flashes
Reminds me of Dan Flashes from I Think You Should Leave
42. Maryland Terrapins
41. UConn Huskies
HERE COME THE DOGS! DOGS ARE THE BEST!
40. Drake Bulldogs
39. UNC Asheville Bulldogs
38. Gonzaga Bulldogs
37. Missouri State Bulldogs
36. Texas A&M Aggies
They have a live dog mascot named Reveille!
Happy Independence Day, Texas! I love you almost as much as I love my Aggies! 🤠❤️🐾 pic.twitter.com/THEgbEMCHr
— Reveille X (@reveille) March 2, 2023
35. Iowa State Cyclones
Named for a natural disaster, but this is their mascot:
34. Miami Hurricanes
See above.
33. VCU Rams
32. Arkansas Razorbacks
31. Howard Bison
30. UC Santa Barbara Gauchos
Steely Dan songs get good grades.
29. Alabama Crimson Tide
28. Texas A&M — Corpus Christi Islanders
I’ll repeat what I learned from last year:
OK, so they should be back with the other mascot-less after getting rid of the controversial Izzy the Islander last year.
But I’m giving them bonus points for teaching me something: When they were selected, I was flabergasted that they were called Islanders. What island is there in Texas? Turns out it’s located … on its own island!
The ONLY university in the country on its own ISLAND! Glad to be in Corpus Christi… pic.twitter.com/TK4mA5MObn
— Jim Shaw (@CoachJimShaw) May 8, 2021
27. Providence Friars
Always frightening!
26. Penn State Nittany Lions
I don’t know what it is, but I love how simple the mascot is.
25. Iowa Hawkeyes
24. Tennessee Volunteers
23. Duke Blue Devils
22. Kennesaw State Owls
Owls are awesome, and this mascot is fantastic …
With Kennesaw State's mascot "Scrappy". pic.twitter.com/tQm3ZkXz57
— Everything Georgia (@GAFollowers) October 14, 2014
21. Florida Atlantic Owls
… As is this one NAMED OWLSLEY!
Name a mascot cooler than Owlsley… oh wait there isn't one 🦉 pic.twitter.com/tughXx91pu
— FAU Alumni 🦉 (@FAUAlumni) February 27, 2023
20. Boise State Broncos
Buster Bronco!
19. Utah State Aggies
Is Utah State’s Big Blue the only mascot with a piercing? pic.twitter.com/tthZDLSzMV
— The Gurgling Cod (also on the elephant app) (@TheGurglingCod) December 15, 2018
18. Kansas Jayhawks
17. Texas Longhorns
16. Purdue Boilermakers
Another super creepy mascot, so we’ve reached the “please don’t hurt me” division.
15. Arizona State Sun Devils
GAHHHH!
14. Colgate Raiders
Colgate’s mascot is terrifying pic.twitter.com/32sgwDus4j
— Louis Fernandez Jr (@LouFernandezJr) March 22, 2019
13. USC Trojans
Whew, these two will save us.
12. Michigan State Spartans
11. Louisiana Ragin’ Cajuns
I’m so bummed they’re mascot-less, but that nickname alone gets them this high.
10. West Virginia Mountaineers
9. Xavier Musketeers
8. Virginia Cavaliers
7. Farleigh Dickinson Knights
Farleigh-Dickinson's mascot 👀😞 pic.twitter.com/ZkRtJWewGK
— real swell (@nothingfromnuth) March 9, 2016
6. TCU Horned Frogs
Looks like an alien!
5. Saint Mary’s Gaels
Which Gael is better? This one?
4. Iona Gaels
If Iona comes to Iowa City I need a mascot picture pic.twitter.com/C6t4yYgdVv
— IowaMamaHawk (@xrayanneiowa) March 10, 2023
Or this one?
3. Furman Paladins
DYK 👀 Furman’s study body elected the “Paladin” as the university mascot in 1961 ⚔️
Happy #NationalMascotDay Victor! pic.twitter.com/ykVEs9G93O
— Furman Paladins (@FurmanPaladins) June 17, 2021
SICK mascot, and points for not being just “knights.”
2. Grand Canyon Lopes
What is a lope? It’s an antelope! Points for uniqueness and look!
Gotta show some love to America’s favorite mascot on #NationalMascotDay pic.twitter.com/ojfCo3tMHw
— GCU Lopes (@GCU_Lopes) June 18, 2022
And the best of the best is ...
1. Northern Kentucky Norse
I cannot get enough of Victor E. Viking, both the name and the look:
Wishing a Happy #NationalMascotDay to our very own Victor E. Viking!! ⚔️#NorseUp pic.twitter.com/F4rp8Tq5D4
— Northern Kentucky Athletics (@NKUNorse) June 17, 2022
The Horizon League Basketball Tournament is sponsored by Barbasol, a shaving company. Here is the mascot matchup between Cleveland State and Northern Kentucky in the final, who perhaps didn’t get the memo. 🪒 pic.twitter.com/mmycjaxiTv
— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) March 7, 2023
