Talking really matters to radio DJ Roman Kemp. He wakes up millions every day with his cheery breakfast show banter – but he also believes opening up about his mental health saved his life.
The 29-year-old has been battling depression for nearly 15 years and says being able to chat to his pal Ed Sheeran helped him through the darkest of times.
Roman once came close to killing himself but admits he was completely blindsided when his best friend and Capital Radio producer, Joe Lyons, committed suicide last year.
He turned to his 1980s pop icon parents, Martin and Shirley, as well as singing superstar Ed.
The pair became pals after meeting on the music scene and later shared a hug, with Roman in a bear costume, in an advert for Capital Radio.
Roman even has a tattoo on his leg, drawn by Ed – who also offered him invaluable words of advice.
Speaking during Mental Health Week, Roman revealed: “Ed told me there’s dirty water at the top and the more you let it flow it turns into clear water.
“Each time I speak about how I feel, the water gets clearer.”
I’m A Celebrity finallist Roman now repeats those words to himself all the time. And that realisation that he needs to talk in order to stay well, led to him writing his first book.
In Are You Really Ok? Roman lifts the lid on how he was diagnosed with chemical depression when he was 15, his plans to take his own life before he entered the jungle in 2019 and his shock when Joe killed himself.
He had no clue the 31-year-old was suffering. And it still makes him angry.
Roman, who was on air when he found out that Joe had died, said: “I’m still processing his death. Every day I step foot back in the Capital studios, I’m back in the worst situation I have ever lived in my life. I have flashbacks all the time.”
He added: “Per one suicide, 140 people are affected. Joe’s affected a lot of people. I’m sure he’ll be proud of what we’re doing but I still f***ing hate him for it. He was the furthest thing from a suicidal person.
“Some people don’t wear a mask, others do. The majority put a mask on and we don’t have a clue what’s going on.”
Roman, 29, has dedicated his book to Joe and mum Shirley, of Wham! and Pepsi and Shirley fame.
Following his mum’s example helped Roman open up about Joe’s death. At the 2017 Brits, Shirley paid tribute to her best pal and Wham! frontman George Michael, who died in 2016.
“I’ve never felt prouder of my mum, getting up on stage and talking to millions of people about her
mate,” said Roman.
“When I had to talk about the loss of my best mate, Joe, I remembered Mum doing that and it gave me courage.”
Roman also credits Shirley with saving him – as she called him just as he was thinking about ways to take his own life.
But he admitted: “My parents never knew my mental health was that serious. I didn’t want to tell them.”
Shirley and Martin – star of Spandau Ballet and EastEnders – only realised the full extent of their son’s struggles last year, when he made BBC3 documentary Our Silent Emergency about the mental health and suicide crisis among young men.
But Roman said: “I feel like I’ve won the lottery to have them as parents. We’re a support network. We speak every day. I call my dad if something nice happens, I call Mum if something bad happens.
“I’m fortunate enough to know it’s good to talk. There are so many guys that aren’t.”
Roman takes sertraline for depression and is likely to be on medication for the rest of his life.
He said: “I’m in a good place but it’s up and down. It’s not something you can cure. You understand it – your triggers – then you learn how to deal with it. For me, talking massively helps.” With a new BBC documentary about mental health due out next year, Roman also wants to raise the issue in schools.
He said: “Schoolchildren are taking their own lives. We need to start with kids from the age of five. Talking about depression needs to be normalised.”
Roman is single after splitting with neuroscientist Anne-Sophie Flury in 2020.
But he says his close bond with his mum, dad and sister Harley, 33, has sparked a burning desire to be a dad himself.
“I want to create my own family. I can’t wait to see Mum with my son or daughter. I just need to find someone first.”
Roman Kemp: Are You Really OK? is published by Mirror Books and on sale October 27.
Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.
