In favourable conditions (warm and sunny, but sheltered), asparagus can grow several inches a day. The Canadian Food Focus website claims a fantastic 15cm in 24 hours – which must also be noisy, if you have an ear close enough. Even if the reality is half that, it’s enough for me to consider spending a day in a field of it. I would need to lie down low – on an inflatable lilo, maybe – with a small cushion and a flask of coffee and whisky. I would need to have a penknife, too, so I could cut the spears when they reach the perfect height, which is often at midnight.
The boiling time of asparagus varies according to its thickness and how recently it was picked. Broadly speaking, though, string-thin spears need 30 seconds, pencil-thick ones a minute or two, little-finger size ones two to three minutes, and jumbo, thumb-thick spears up to seven minutes, or longer if they are older and therefore tougher. If your bunch is made up of neat, evenly sized spears, it’s simple to calculate the boiling time, but if your bunch is a mismatched one, a bit of sorting is worthwhile, so you can stagger the cooking times with the new potatoes. Regardless of size, it’s important that the salted water is at a steady boil and that the asparagus remains bright green (if they lose that colour and turn khaki, that’s a sign of overcooking). The cooked spears should also hold their shape – soldiers standing at ease, as opposed to rag dolls.
