Before his wife Rachael died of breast cancer, Steve Bland had only met her friend and colleague Dame Deborah James once.
BBC Radio 5 newsreader Rachael had captured the nation’s hearts along with Deborah and Lauren Mahon as they shared their cancer experiences on the BBC podcast You, Me and the Big C.
When they started their series in 2018, Rachael had breast cancer and the others were in remission – Lauren from breast cancer and Deborah from bowel cancer.
Then, that September, just five years after marrying Steve and with a son about to turn three, Rachael died aged 40 – two years after her diagnosis.
Steve joined the podcast as an occasional co-host and became close pals with Deborah, known to millions as Dame Debs for her work raising awareness of bowel cancer through her inspiring social media posts.
And now, nine months after Deborah passed away aged 40, Steve and Lauren, 37, have recorded their final episode of You, Me and the Big C.
The show aired for five years and made Deborah a household name and much-loved campaigner.
Last week, her family announced her Bowel Babe fund has raised £11.3million for vital cancer research.
And Steve says Rachael saw Deborah’s star quality from the start.
The 42-year-old, from Knutsford, Cheshire, says: “I remember Rachael planning the podcast and Debs was on her shortlist of dream people she would like to work with on it.
“She connected with her on Instagram and they started chatting.
“In the few years before Rachael died, we went on lots of trips. We went to St Tropez. Driving from Nice airport, I remember her saying: ‘Oh, Deborah James is in St Tropez at the moment!’
“I asked who she was and she said, ‘She’s this incredible woman, she’s got bowel cancer and she’s so inspirational and glamorous, I really hope we meet her.’ That was the first time I was ever aware of Deb.”
Steve says some fans of the podcast still get in touch daily, thanking him for enabling them to spot signs and symptoms of cancer.
Knowing how many people the self deprecating yet honest and open show helped has eased the pain of losing first his wife and then his pal.
Steve and Deborah – known for her outgoing, fun-loving personality – enjoyed “wild nights” and afternoons spent laughing over prosecco at London’s Soho House club.
He says: “She was amazing fun on a night out. But we also had some amazing nights just getting a load of food and wine and chatting on our hotel beds.
“We went to a cancer conference in 2019 and we were staying in a hotel in London. She phoned me and said, ‘I’m going to get room service and watch movies.’
“We spread out on my hotel bed with loads of room service and wine and we spent most of the night chatting and having a laugh and we watched The Beatles’ movie Yesterday – we both thought it was awful!”
Steve also reveals Deborah was very supportive when he met his new partner, nurse Amy, 40.
The couple, who wed last year, are expecting twins in two weeks.
Steve says: “I said to Amy the other night, ‘Debs would already have sent all sorts of matching outfits for the twins’.
"She was always thinking of other people, even when she was suffering.
"I remember the first night she met Amy. We came back to the hotel and she had arranged for a bottle of champagne and a card to be left for us, saying how brilliant it was to meet Amy and that she was a keeper. She was a really good person.
“Whenever she got a sniff that I was having a tough time, she was the first one on the phone – and you couldn’t get her off!
"Even when she was in treatment, she would still be that person always thinking of others. It feels very surreal that she has died, because for so long we thought that she was invincible. I think maybe she almost did as well.”
With son Freddie now seven, Steve says he and Amy try to keep Rachael “part of the family”.
He adds: “It’s been quite difficult, particularly for Amy. We can’t have two sets of wedding pictures up in the house. But we always talk about her, we always answer Freddie’s questions.
“And Amy is amazing, she is always the one to talk about Rachael.
“This is exactly what Rachael told me to do – we’re looking forward, we’re looking to the future."
Things to watch for
Bowel Cancer UK has #KnowTheHigh5 symptoms of bowel cancer to make sure more people know what to look for and what to do if something doesn’t feel right:
- Bleeding from your bottom and/or blood in your poo
- A persistent and unexplained change in bowel habit
- Unexplained loss of weight
- Extreme tiredness for no obvious reason
- A pain or lump in your tummy. For more information, visit bowelcanceruk.org.uk
