Every once in a while, real life intrudes on sports in a way that makes me smile, not because I’m drawn to darkness but because it brings out a type of reporting not typically seen in the sports pages.
Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady and his wife, supermodel Gisele Bundchen, reportedly are having marital problems. A sportswriter would make note of that out of journalistic duty but only in the context of how the stress might affect Brady’s play each week. What the exasperated scribe really would like to ask is what any of this nonsense has to do with zone coverage or a particularly nasty defensive line.
Here’s what Us Weekly wrote about the matter:
“Gisele and Tom’s friends are upset at Tom for going back on his word and coming out of retirement. They hate the way Tom is refusing to bend for Gisele.’’
Every quote in every gossip story ever written has had the exact same tone. In fact, I think the same “friend’’ is commenting on the Khardashians, Prince Harry, and now Tom and Gisele. Brady’s refusal to bend on retirement might sound bad for the relationship, but I’m here to tell you that the situation has taken an ominous turn. The other day, Bundchen reacted to a social media post from Jay Shetty, whom Us Weekly referred to as a “purpose coach.’’ On an unrelated note, I love this country.
“You can’t be in a committed relationship with someone who is inconsistent with you,’’ Shetty posted. “Read that again.’’
Not only did Bundchen “like’’ the post, she replied with the prayer hands emoji. The hands were next-level stuff.
I can save everybody, gossip writer and sportswriter alike, a lot of time and trouble. The first thing to understand is that professional athletes tend to be selfish and self-centered. The second is that none of them want to retire. That Brady is 45 doesn’t lessen any of that. So it doesn’t matter what the couple’s friends say about him or what a guru has to say about a healthy relationship.
Brady wanted to keep playing football, which is why he unretired soon after retiring following the 2021 season, much to the frustration of Bundchen. She and her two children should be frustrated, but why did they expect anything different from him? Because he said things would be different? The word this guy has used most in his life is “hut.’’
Longevity is a decent possibility in many professions but not in professional sports. The competitive window is open a crack for most athletes, until it closes on their fingers, and then, well, it was good knowing you. The rest of life is staring at them at 30. Retirement is hard enough for everyday people wondering what comes after 65.
Thanks to advances in equipment, nutrition and training methods, more athletes are able to stay competitive into their mid- to late 30s. Then there’s Brady, who seems to have made it his life’s work to look and act young. He’s in his 23rd NFL season. He helped the Buccaneers win a Super Bowl in the 2020 season. It was his seventh title. You say he looks young, I say he looks like he’s been dipped in wax but let’s agree that whatever he’s doing, it’s working.
For all the time and energy we humans spend being envious of sports stars’ lives, cars and money, theirs is a strange existence post-career. To have what you do best taken away from you because the calendar keeps moving – not because you did anything wrong – seems cruel.
I’m guessing that many of you are saying you’d love to have their unconventional lives. And their mansions. But after retirement, what would you do with that thing you do best? Where do you put it? In a basketball league at the YMCA? In a flag-football league at the park? Or in a trophy case in the basement? It’s weird, and maybe the weirdest part is that you know the end is coming even in the earliest stages of your career. It’s out there like an escaped killer. There’s a short shelf life to what you do. If you’re really, really good and really, really lucky, it’ll match the life expectancy of a beagle.
For many of us, graduating from college means the party’s over. Now what? A job. Responsibility. It’s different for retired athletes. The party’s over, but there’s no need for a job. Someone else, usually a spouse, already handles the day-to-day responsibilities, such as raising the children.
It’s why the same question – now what? – can be terrifying.
Many athletes hang on way too long because they have absolutely no idea what to do with themselves outside of their sport. They have no other skills or can’t imagine having any other skills. Their gift is how they make their money, but it’s more than that. It’s their essence, their identity. So in a blink, they go from being a big deal to someone who isn’t quite as big a deal anymore. They play in celebrity golf tournaments. They appear at autograph shows. Some stay close to their sport through coaching, management or broadcasting. They’re near the limelight, can reach out and touch it, but they can’t perform in it.
My reaction to “The Last Dance,’’ the 2020 ESPN documentary about Michael Jordan, was how alone he seems all these years later. Alone in his accomplishments. Alone in his need to be recognized as the best ever. Alone as the owner of the Hornets. Nothing can fill the hole of his playing career, so he keeps fighting to keep the memory of it alive.
We were blessed to witness it, just as we’re blessed to be able to witness the last years of Brady’s career. When it’s over, we’ll move on. Can he?
