When we were kids my brother and I invented a brilliant game.
My Barbie doll would go galloping across the living room on her pony then suddenly find herself in peril.
“Help, help!”she’d cry as she dangled by her foot from the fire guard or got wedged down the back of the sofa.
Then my brother’s Action Man would come hurtling to the rescue – whizzing down a length of washing line tied to the door using his incredible gripping hands.
Fun memories flooded back when I saw the Queen Elizabeth II Barbie released by Mattel for her Platinum Jubilee.
It’s to inspire girls and “remind them they can be anything”.
Although, in this case, the Order of Succession might prove slightly problematic.
Anyway, it will be lovely for little Lilibet to have her own Great-Granny Barbie.
And her Action Man daddy will be able to explain how he swooped in to Windsor Castle at Easter to save the Queen from unseen peril – to “make sure she’s protected and got the right people around her”.
And to “talk about the things that she can’t talk about with anybody else.”
Like what, exactly? Crystal healing? Prince Andrew’s BO? Or whether he could get her a sneaky preview of Season 5 of The Crown from his Netflix chums? Handily enough, a couple of them were just outside, filming the reunion tea with Her Majesty for an upcoming documentary.
Which, of course, was the real reason behind Harry’s flying visit to Windsor – as well as gathering some exclusive content for his little chat with NBC.
Harry knew his devoted and forgiving gran would be thrilled to see him again.
So thrilled that she’d help sort out the security issues he claims are stopping him bringing Archie and Lili to visit.
Just in time for him and Meghan to whizz over for her Jubilee party, land on the Buckingham Palace balcony and wave at their Netflix film crew.
Because that will ensure he keeps the streaming giant’s £100million in his incredible grasping hands.
Why should the sulky Sussexes be allowed to share the Jubilee limelight with hardworking proper royals like Kate and William?
Most of us are sick to death of the way Harry keeps exploiting Her Majesty’s love and generosity.
If he’s so protective of the Queen, why didn’t he whizz over to support her at his grandad’s memorial service?
And why does he cause her consternation every time he opens his big mouth?
Harry has done nothing to help our Queen or the institution she has served for 70 years.
Instead he is putting the monarchy in peril – and it’s time to put a stop his games.
