Premier League’s big show is back, full of thrills but facing new threat to its power

The Premier League returns with narratives that will reveal themselves only in the slog through winter into spring. Composite: Guardian Design

And I heard, as it were, a sound of thunder. I heard multitudes marching to the big kettle drum. Not to mention, it should be said, even larger multitudes talking on the wicked and unholy internet about agent sightings, failed here-we-gos and the Alexander Isak wheel of global conspiracy.

Let he that hath understanding count the number! Because, let’s face it, it really is an absolute beast of a number, 215 live Premier League games on Sky Sports alone, an endless rolling debauchery of games, of graphics that go whoosh, of arguments by the lighted dias.