GOING TO THE MATCH … 2023
The Fiver didn’t get where it is today planning things well in advance. Why, just this afternoon we’d sat through a 13-minute Gary O’Neil press conference on YouTube with a view to writing some biting satire about tonight’s match between West Ham and the Bournemouth side he remains in caretaker charge of through his third prime minister, only for the arrival of an email in our inbox to prompt the kind of U-turn to rival those of the most self-serving Tory lickspittles in the past 24 hours.
So, while we leave Gary to “get the boys ready for West Ham … go again and continue to work hard and improve”, it behoves The Fiver to give the work of our good friends at the Football Supporters’ Association some big licks, and not simply because it’s getting towards that time of year when they empty the contents of their bulging ballot boxes in order to honour various Big Papers, writers, podcasters and cartoonists named Squires among other categories, all of whom can be voted for here.
Never happy unless there’s a giant bee buzzing around their football-supporting bonnet, today the FSA raised the hoary old issue of TV scheduling and the Premier League’s almost total disregard for matchgoing fans. It is a drum they have beaten more often and more violently than Keith Moon in his pomp but the powers that be in Premier League Towers have covered their ears with noise-cancelling headphones in order to drown out the unseemly din.
“Supporters groups from across the country have expressed their anger at the Premier League and its broadcasters for the latest delay in releasing TV fixtures,” thunders the FSA in an article they flagged up to the great, the good and The Fiver about 30 seconds before the Premier League finally hit the button on said TV fixtures. “The TV selections for December and January covering the busy Christmas and New Year schedule were due to be published by Friday 11th October but at the time of publishing [this story] were 13 days late. This has meant many fans wanting to book travel to games in the busy December period are potentially losing out on cheaper travel options.”
A cursory look at the now-announced fixtures shows that on 3 January, Bournemouth play at Old Trafford at 8pm, while at the same time several thousand Geordies will be in That London for Arsenal v Newcastle. Both sets of travelling fans will make it because they always do (though some might not make it back given the last trains home will have long gone), and it is no doubt on this blind loyalty that the Premier League and various TV networks count as they dither over which matches to show and when. On the plus side, at least they got their act together in order to schedule West Ham v Bournemouth on Monday night, a match potential viewers with no affiliation to either team will almost certainly be ignoring in their droves.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
Join Will Unwin at 8pm for red-hot minute-by-minute updates on West Ham 1-0 Bournemouth.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“At first he seems standoffish but he’s the sweetest, humblest person you’ll ever meet. Just don’t take the p!ss. He’s so passionate and loves the game. He can’t let the game go” – Micah Richards tells Donald McRae about the side of Roy Keane The Fiver’s clearly never seen and much, much more in this highly entertaining interview.
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FIVER LETTERS
“Arsenal first in the Premier League, Newcastle fourth, Fulham seventh – in what backward world are we living?” – J Zucal.
“I hope Aston Villa appoint Sean Dyche. That way we have a chance to witness a double-header between Erik ten Hag and his estranged, English cousin [much like The Fiver’s] Sean Dyche, in a couple of weeks’ time. Though I doubt Erik and Sean to have as hostile a friendship as The Fiver does with its uncle [or anybody else for that matter]” – Karen Asa.
“Apparently, Liz Truss was in power for 1,056 hours. Oh for one more” – Neil Baynham.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Karen Asa. And prizes will be back tomorrow! We’ll be giving away a copy of Inside Qatar by John McManus every day for the rest of the week. It’s also available to order in the Guardian Bookshop.
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