MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
Over the last few months, Premier League clubs have been responsible for roughly £904984bn of spending, an act of such profound, altruistic love that even the stadia are in tiers. Nevertheless, the question begs: are any of them actually any good? Liverpool won last season’s title conceding more goals than every champion since 2013 – issues they are understandably keen to address. As such, they have cunningly replaced two full-backs who can’t defend with two other full-backs who can’t defend at a cost of £59.5m, and so far this season, they’ve conceded four league goals – as many as Manchester United, who in that time have been playing without a goalkeeper. But of course, blame for the malaise cannot be laid solely at the feet of the defenders. Liverpool’s midfield was also a factor in their relative permeability, a difficulty they’ve attempted to address by benching a more physical, defensively-minded type and bussing £116m on a new attacker to take his place; Florian Wirtz’s current contributions stand at 0 goals and 0 assists. And nor is that it! Arne Slot has also lumped £125m on Alexander Isak having already done £79m on Hugo Ekitike in preparation for the inevitability of a Bigger Cup knockout-stages undressing.
