A heartbroken mum who gave birth to her stillborn baby is raising funds for specialist hospital equipment that allows families to spend more time with their children who have passed away.
Melissa Hayat sadly lost her unborn child, Noah, on December 28 after receiving her 12-week-scan. The 29-year-old's pregnancy had been going well until a sonographer discovered her unborn tot had swelling on his neck.
It emerged his bowel was growing on the outside of his body and he also had an irregular heartbeat. Tragically, doctors knew he wasn’t going to make it.
Melissa returned home and felt "butterfly movements insider" before she was told during a second scan that Noah had sadly died. She gave birth to her baby just two days later - describing the heartbreaking experience as "horrific".
Recalling the moment she found out she was going to lose her baby, Melissa, from Prestwich, told Manchester Evening News: “It was heartbreaking. We had passed the 12-week stage and we thought that was a safe point.
“I just lay down on the bed and it just felt like a bad dream, like it was happening on TV. I started screaming and my heart broke and I was crying.
“They rang the ward manager and she came down and was cuddling me. It was a big blur, like it was in slow motion. I thought, ‘This can’t be happening to me.’
“It was a dark moment. We had to be wheeled back through the scanning department and I saw all these people waiting for their scans and my life had been torn apart.
“Afterwards, I felt like I was numb. People were speaking to me and it was like their mouths were moving but I couldn’t hear anything.”
Melissa gave birth to Noah William Heydon after 14 weeks of pregnancy. To add to the heartbreak, she had to tell her other children Josh, 10, and Chloe, nine, their little brother would not be coming home.
“We got home and told the children and they were heartbroken,” Melissa added. “They were crying asking, ‘Why did this happen to us?’
“I don’t think loss is spoken about. It’s quite a taboo subject. I think in 2023, it needs to be widely spoken about. Even before my story was out there, people have inboxed me privately and told me they lost their baby. Each story was different. But if I hadn't spoken about mine, they wouldn't have spoken about theirs.
“Since coming home from the hospital, for the first few weeks, I couldn’t do anything. Then we had to arrange the funeral, so I threw myself into organising that. We got home and got him cremated and we have him in the cupboard. That helps me and the kids and it helps my partner.
“Sometimes I’ll get his teddy out and give it a cuddle now and then or give him a kiss. But day-to-day, you have good days and bad days.”
Melissa described the moment she gave birth to her sleeping baby as “surreal”. “I’ve had two previous children and you just don’t know what to expect if you’ve never done it,” she added.
“Normally, it’s an exciting time. The pain is there but you’re going to get something good at the end. When the labour kicked in, I was on the bed and I was in really bad pain. The contractions were coming thick and fast.
“I was in pain and crying and I thought, ‘This is happening really quick’. He arrived within minutes; he was there. I didn’t want [the midwives] to take him. I wanted to see him, but I was crying onto him. I didn’t want to part with him.
“I put him in the cot like he was alive and got him out and gave him a cuddle. It was kind of surreal. He looked beautiful, but you could see that he wasn’t 100 per cent well. But to me, he just looked perfect.”
Following the tragedy, Melissa has been channeling her grief through fundraising for hospitals to receive specialist equipment for other bereaved families who have also lost their babies. The equipment, which includes memory boxes, mortuary blankets and cots, allows mums and dads to make cherished memories at home before their child is buried.
The mum is aiming to raise £5,000 at a family fundraising event to purchase memory boxes and specialist CuddleBlankets and CuddleCots. When Noah was born at the Royal Oldham Hospital last year, Melissa and her partner Mark, 28, were approached by charity 4Lewis and offered a CuddleCot and memory box to help them cope with their loss.
Due to not all hospitals having access to the cots and blankets, Melissa wants to raise funds to provide more hospitals with the items along with raise awareness of baby loss. This Sunday, April 30, she’s set to hold a family fun day at Prestwich Conservative Club to help raise as much money as possible.
The family fun day fundraising event will take place at the Church Lane club from 12.30pm to 5.30pm on Sunday, April 30 and will feature activities for adults and children including face painting, balloon artists, bingo and a raffle with prizes donated from local businesses. Melissa says Noah’s due date on June 23 is fast approaching – a day she is dreading as she continues to come to terms with her loss.
“It’s been nearly four months on Sunday but it doesn’t get any easier,” she added. “You’re able to function a bit better but my mental health is up and down. Some days it’s bad and other days are hard. When is due date comes around, that’s going to be heartbreaking.”
Donate to the fundraiser here.
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