Every relationship requires effort and trust, but it can be tougher to be a good partner if you already have too much on your plate. After giving birth, when your life has been uprooted and changed drastically, there might be way too much to handle. That’s often when couples have the most fights.
A man shared that he was at his wit’s end and considering separating from his wife after she had given birth because she kept suspecting him of cheating and eventually ended up assaulting him.
More info: Reddit
Man is left heartbroken and pondering divorce after postpartum wife slaps him just because she had the feeling that he might be cheating
Image credits: Dziana Hasanbekava (not the actual photo)
30YO man shared that his 28YO wife began suspecting him of cheating after giving birth to their baby
Image credits: Jonas Leupe (not the actual photo)
He gave his wife full access to his phone and messages and kept updating her or sending her photos on days he was working late
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
One day he had to work on a very stressful project and forgot to update his wife, and when he returned home, she freaked out and slapped him so hard he cried
Image credits: u/InteractionNods
After she assaulted him, the man slept on the couch and wondered whether to go ahead with a divorce
The Original Poster (OP) is a 30-year-old man who has been married for 2 years to a 28-year-old woman. He shared that they have been together for 5 years and that just a few months ago, she had given birth to their baby. But he noticed that his wife had become increasingly suspicious of him and kept accusing him of having an affair.
The man kept telling her he was not having an affair with the coworker she would accuse him of being with. To alleviate her suspicions, he gave her complete access to his phone and text messages. He shared that just because he returned late from work, she would keep suspecting him. That’s why he always updated her and sent her photos to convince her that he was just working.
After giving birth, around 1 in 7 women tend to experience an illness called postpartum depression (PPD). This is a medical condition where a woman might face heightened anxiety, sadness, and tiredness that lasts for a long time after giving birth. These stressful feelings make it hard for women to manage and often require intensive treatment. That’s exactly what the poster’s wife might be dealing with.
Because she also kept thinking that her husband was cheating despite his reassurances, another possibility could be that she has been suffering from postpartum Psychosis (PP). This is also a serious mental health condition that affects 1 in 1000 women after they give birth. It is characterized by severe mood swings, delusions, mania, and more.
The man also mentioned that one day he had to stay late at work, and because of an extremely stressful project, he forgot to send updates to his wife. When he reached home, she began freaking out and accusing him of cheating. He tried to hug her, and that’s when she slapped him so hard that he inadvertently began crying. That’s when he began questioning whether he should divorce her.
Image credits: Nik Shuliahin (not the actual photo)
The changes in his wife’s behavior, her suspicion that he was cheating, and her aggressive actions could point toward the onset of psychosis after giving birth. Research on postpartum psychosis has found that “women with PP, however, are more likely to express homicidal ideation than women with nonpsychotic childbirth-onset illness, such as postpartum depression.” This means that postpartum mothers experiencing psychosis are at greater risk of causing harm to others.
Studies on this form of psychosis have said that it’s necessary for women to opt for inpatient hospitalization. Ideally, a space where the mother and child can be together so that there is no disruption of their bond during the initial stages. Considering the need for support, the husband could encourage his wife to seek counseling from trained professionals.
Some of the reasons for the onset of PP can be the major physical and hormonal changes that occur after giving birth. These factors, coupled with lack of sleep and exhaustion, can lead to a very physically and emotionally challenging time for new mothers. Some of the symptoms of postpartum psychosis are:
- Hallucinations about seeing, hearing, or feeling things that aren’t there
- Delusions and suspicions that are unlikely to be true
- Mania where a person feels very overactive or “high”
- Low mood involving depression, anxiety, loss of appetite, and trouble sleeping
It’s important for people to look out for these symptoms so that they can find the best support for new mothers. Commenters also encouraged the poster to hold off on getting a divorce and to take his wife for counseling. Some netizens even shared personal stories of their struggles with PP/PPD and how they worked through it.
The original post got 9.2k upvotes and 4.5k comments, and the question on many peoples’ minds was whether the man should go ahead with a divorce. How do you think he should handle the situation? Let us know in the comments.
People urged the man to seek psychiatric support for his wife and stated that she might be suffering from a severe mental health condition
