A few weeks into motherhood, Gemma McKenzie felt awash with shame and guilt when her husband suggested the tears she had been crying were likely due to postnatal depression.
"I was so disappointed in myself that I wasn't being the mum that I pictured I'd be," she said from her home in Geraldton, Western Australia.
Research by Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia (PANDA) both in Australia and internationally shows around 15–22 per cent of women experience depression during pregnancy and/or following the birth of their baby.
"I came home and that's when what we thought were the baby blues hit," Ms McKenzie said.
"I spent a week quietly crying to myself, not being able to get out of a fog.
"It felt like a cloud was over my head."
Postnatal depression was debilitating for Ms McKenzie, so her husband, Jonathon, took over most of the parenting duties for their newborn, Lily.
"I wanted to solve all the problems, and for a few weeks I did everything," he said.
"I cooked and I changed all the nappies.
"With the exception of breastfeeding, it was all on me, then I realised that wasn't sustainable and that I couldn't do it all by myself."
It was then that he helped his wife reach out to agencies in Geraldton for help.
"It was about two weeks into the non-stop crying that Jonno made a few comments to me that maybe this wasn't the baby blues and maybe this was along the lines of postnatal depression," Ms McKenzie said.
Isolation a factor
Ms McKenzie said isolation due to COVID-19 restrictions meant friends and family could not help as much as they would have liked.
"The biggest thing that impacted it [postnatal depression], for me, was not having family around," she said.
"We have beautiful family and friends that were able and willing to help us at the start, but not having that, and feeling so distant and isolated, was incredibly difficult."
Being in a regional area, Ms McKenzie said people did not always have access to a GP or obstetrician, and it could be difficult to find a practitioner residing in Geraldton.
She said this could have a big impact because they were a sufferer's first port of call.
"They're the people that put you in contact with the agencies, or help you get medication," Ms McKenzie said.
Finding help in the Midwest
Melanie Valenti is a specialist women's nurse at Desert Blue Connect, an organisation that offers a wide range of services to individuals and families in WA's Midwest region.
She said living in regional WA was a challenge for women experiencing postnatal depression.
"Family isolation is a huge one, in particular with farming areas," she said.
Ms Valenti said Ms McKenzie's experience was common but it was not often discussed.
"It is one of those health conditions that I wish was spoken about more in society," she said.
She said everybody's experience with postnatal depression was different and there was no "one size fits all".
"It can be crying for days on end and not just a once off situation. It can be a lack of hope or lack of happiness. It can be not being able to get to sleep.
"It's really tricky when you're in the situation, but reach out and get help and talk to somebody about it [because] you're not the only one going through it."
Feeling brighter today
Ms McKenzie said she was now feeling great and has just had her second baby.
She believed she had been able to enjoy the parenting process this time around because she had sought help.
"I feel that I missed so much of my little girl for a few months," Ms McKenzie said.
"It makes me sad that I wasn't able to enjoy the newborn period the way I have been able to enjoy the newborn period with Ella, my little girl who is three months old."
PANDA's national helpline can be accessed by calling 1300 726 306, or visit www.panda.org.au for more information.
