Hundreds of people have waded in on a debate about handing down toys. After seeking advice on a discussion forum, one collector was inundated with responses from fellow parents - and there were some strong views on the subject.
The debate began with a question posed under the heading "to not give up my Playmobil and cut cousins hands off if she tries to take it?", which while sounding extreme, was intended to convey the sentiment of the question of whether they should be forced into passing toys to younger relatives.
Writing on Mumsnet.com, the post began. "Ok Ok .. the last part is possibly U.... [unreasonable]." It went to to explain: "I have an extensive collection of playmobil which has been boxed up for many years. I briefly got it out 10 years ago when my DSs [dear sons] were 7/8ish but after a particularly traumatising incident where they broke some, I boxed it all back up and put it away and never got it back out. I say this to show that my attachment to it is frankly ridiculous."
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The post continued: "My cousin's daughter is 6. She is in many ways an mini version of me at that age and I adore her and obviously indulge her and am silly with her in ways her parents can't be. I (obviously) have been buying her Playmobil for birthdays and Xmas which she loves. My collection came up in a discussion at a birthday meal recently and cousin's daughter asked if she could come over and play. I said it was boxed away and that was it. Except it isn't. Cousin has asked about "getting some sets for her DC [darling child] since I'm not using it". I've politely said various versions of no with excuses, but this morning I had this message, "Hey Q. Any more thoughts over the Playmobile? DC is beside herself with excitement ay the thought of having some of yours! We are out for Mothers Day this afternoon but I'll give you a bell later. xx"
The question clearly annoyed the poster of the dilemma who went on to seek advice from fellow users of the social medial platform. The post went on: "Clearly I need a stronger 'no over my dead body' response but having moaned mentioned this to DM [darling mother] at lunch she thinks IABU [I am being unreasonable] to not 'pass it down'. DB thinks I should just go buy a box off Facebook and hand that over which I am considering." Finally, they added: "So AIBU to want to keep my play?"
The response was overwhelming with many people expressing strong views on the topic. One responder to the question wrote: "People need to back off. I hate boundary pushing. Say no and stop asking me. I collect the . They are never going to be given away. On repeat."
Others suggested the wording for the response: "Hi cousin - I'm not sure I was clear enough, my collection is not up for sharing. I don't want to upset your dd [darling daughter] but please respect my decision in this matter and don't ask again or I will have to be firm."
Others took up the debate. One person, giving the relative the benefit of the doubt, suggested: "Cousin probably doesn't understand your attachment to it, but it's yours, it's important to you and you are of course not compelled to give it to any child. I would message back and politely tell her it's something you treasure and you don't want to get it out. If she doesn't understand that, its tough."
Others were less diplomatic. "Just dismissively say 'I already said no'. Then immediately change the subject". While another joked: "Just say 'haha, I’ll leave it to her in my will'."
As the debate raged on, one person asked: "YANBU [you are not being unreasonable]. It's silly to keep it boxed up, though. Why don't you display it?" Another said: "If it's all boxed does it have value? Check eBay out? Then you can use it as an excuse-it's collectible and will be funding your retirement!" Someone else enquired: "You obviously haven’t been clear enough. But I am intrigued as to why you won’t allow anyone to play with it?"
Another commented: "No, you’re not unreasonable at all. You have an attachment to it and don’t want to give it away, and you don’t have to. That you don’t have it out is irrelevant. You’ve already politely told her no, and I would personally be significantly less polite now in the face of her attempts to force the issue. If she wants her kid to have playmobil then she can go ahead and buy it herself."
However, not everyone agreed. One person wrote: "I find it a bit odd that you are more emotionally invested in bits of plastic, than your family. Before anyone tries to correct me, they are just bits of plastic - they have no emotion, no feelings, nothing. I would think the same of anything else, not just toys."
Another said: "Give a couple of your least favourite sets to the wee girl as a token gesture. Toys are meant to be played with!" Which was met with "Give me some of your savings - after all money is meant to be spent".
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