Phillip Schofield says he has "lost everything" after an affair with a younger ITV colleague led to him standing down from his presenting role at This Morning last week.
In an emotional interview with BBC news, Phillip spoke of the aftermath of his affair and admitted he lied consistently. The former This Morning host said his career is now 'over' as he categorically denied all allegations of grooming, the Mirror reports.
"I have to talk about television in the past tense, which breaks my heart. I have lost everything," said Phillip.
"If I get through this I don't know how I move forward. What am I going to do with my days? I see nothing ahead of me but blackness and sadness and regret and remorse and guilt.
"I did something very wrong and then I lied about it consistently... consistently lied about. You can't live with that. How do you live with that?"
Phillip, 61, fled London after stepping down from his role and cut ties with co-star Holly Willoughby as his worried daughters Molly and Ruby followed him.
"Last week if my daughters hadn't been there, I wouldn't be here," Phillip told BBC's Amol Rajan. "They've been by my side every moment because they're scared to let me out of their sight.
"They’ve guarded me and won’t let me out of their sight, it’s like a weird numbness."
Phillip spoke of the trolling he has received since admitting the affair, he said: "Do you want me to die? Because that’s where I am."
"It is relentless, and it is day after day, after day after day.
"If you don’t think that that is going to have the most catastrophic effect on someone’s mind… do want me to die? Because that’s where I am. I have lost everything."
The presenter who was dropped as an ambassador for the Prince's Trust charity became emotional when discussing it and said it 'broke his heart.'
"I can’t remember how long I’ve been there," he said.
He was dropped by his talent agency YMU after admitting to the “unwise but not illegal” relationship and resigned from ITV last week.
Phillip said a romantic relationship with his colleague did not begin until the man was 20 but he admitted helping his former lover get a job on the show. He said he understood people felt there had been an abuse of power at ITV, but 'it didn't feel like that at a time.'
Phillip hasn't spoken to co-star Holly Willoughby since he released his bombshell statement and denied lying to her about the affair.
Willoughby is due to return to the show -which the pair presented together since 2009 - on Monday after the half-term break. She has been spotted on holiday in Portugal amid the chaos back home.
In recent weeks, Alison Hammond and Dermot O’Leary have been among the presenters hosting the programme.
Schofield went on to say that his “greatest apology” over the fallout from the affair was to his former lover and that he would “die sorry” for what he had done.
*If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch
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