Have you ever been watching football on TV and think to yourself, the only thing that could possibly make this experience better is the image of Peter Crouch lifting Mark Clattenburg up high into the sky in a move reminiscent to 'Dirty Dancing?'
Well you're in luck, because the good folks at Paddy Power have turned this fantasy into reality with their newest 'love football intimately' advertisement celebrating the beginning of the new Premier League season.
The advert, which is meant to celebrate the unheralded incidents that brings football fans to their knees or has them crying out in ecstasy, puts Peter Crouch in situations we've all dreamt of him being in. Crouchy half naked 'American Beauty' style in a bathtub with his modesty being covered by a litany of red cards? Check.
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The 6 foot 7 pundit playing the role of draft excluder and blowing vanishing spray in a seductive fashion at the camera as the opposition team lines up to take a free-kick? You got it.
Crouchy whispering in Clattenburg's ear that he loves when he dismisses players and sends them for an early bath? Of course! This advert truly has it all.
Speaking about his role, which sees him lust after the best bits of football, Crouch said:
“I’ve gotten up close and personal with plenty of refs in my time, but never quite as intimately as this.
“The fun me and Clatts had making this ad could only be rivaled by moshing to Kasabian with Sean Dyche at the Isle of Wight festival.
“I’ve got nothing but admiration for him and his colleagues…but mostly Clatts after he nailed that Dirty Dancing lift on the first take.”
Thankfully (?), the 41-year-old former Liverpool and Spurs striker, saves his Channing Tatum 'Magic Mike' moves for the corner flag, and, well to be honest, it's better if you just watch what Crouchy does than have this poor journalist try and explain it.
“It was certainly an eye-opening experience to work this closely with Crouchy," Former Ref Clattenburg said.
“I never expected to see him lying naked in a tub of my old red cards, or using my magic foam to maintain his decency. And while that’s scene I won’t forget anytime soon, it might not make the tattoo sleeve for now!”
No word yet on how devastated Crouchy is that he isn't going to feature on Clattenburg's infamous sleeve tattoo which consists of his greatest achievements.
“This is a nostalgic romcom-tastic tale of passion, fantasy and our unwavering true love for all parts of football – if Harry Met Sally at a Spurs match,” said a spokesperson for Paddy Power .
“Witnessing Peter Crouch pole dance with a corner flag, take a dip (instead of a dive) midfield, and seeing Clattenburg soar like a Strictly contestant is TV gold.
“Who knew a footballer and a ref could strike such a beautiful balance? We expected someone to get nutted and a red card to feature.”
So, we've seen Crouchy bust out the robot many times in the past and now he's shown us a more seductive side to his disco moves. Safe to say that if Strictly come calling for the Ex-England star, Abbey Clancy's honour at being the only Strictly winner in the Crouch household won't exactly be under threat.
The campaign, created in association with Droga5 London, aims to promote Paddy Power’s Bet Builder offering, which allows fans to bet on multiple markets such as cards, shots and corners.
The new Paddy Power Love Football. Intimately. Will air on UK TV on the evening of Saturday 20 th August.
Punters can get a free £5 bet builder to place on Manchester United vs Liverpool this Monday 22 nd August with Paddy Power.
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