Cats aren’t exactly the most loyal of creatures. Many can be quite fickle when it comes to who the flavor of the month, or day is. You can dote on them, buy them the most expensive toys, or feed them the best treats, and still get your feelings hurt when they cheat on you, and decide to wander off for what they see as the better deal.
One cat owner says they’ve poured their heart and soul into caring for their rescue cat. He’s high maintenance, expensive and has his “quirks,” which they’ve worked through together. All was going well until a new neighbor moved in upstairs. Suddenly, the cat started disappearing for days, coming home with unexplained wounds and has mysteriously picked up weight…
When their cat started acting strange and spending days away from home, its owner started to investigate
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They were horrified to learn that an upstairs neighbor had been “slowly adopting” the pet
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Here’s why some cats cheat on their doting human beings
Has Mr Whiskers been acting a little differently lately? ‘Working’ late, not coming home, a change in appearance/routine, or turning his nose up at your delicious dinners are all signs that he might have a side dish, so to speak…
There are many reasons why your cat may be choosing a neighbor over you. One of the most common is food. “If someone else offers a food they prefer (or more of it), they might return there frequently,” explains the pet parenting site, Kinship. “A random neighbour won’t know about the special food you might give your cat for health reasons, or how expensive it is to purchase regularly. And your cat, as loving as they may be, probably won’t care. If it tastes better, and is available more regularly, it could be more appealing.”
Another reason they’re stepping out could be because of a change in routine or environment. Maybe you have a new addition to the family, are working different hours, or going through some sort of change at home. All of these things can ruffle a cat’s proverbial feathers, leading to them going in search of a place where they can find comfort and routine again.
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“Cats are inherently territorial animals and generally like to live in their familiar environment,” says Daniel Warren-Cummings, central behaviour officer for Cats Protection. “Many cats will, however, seek refuge elsewhere if there is a sudden change in their home environment or routine which causes them stress, for example new pets or family members, home renovations or even loud noises at home which force cats to seek calmer environments elsewhere.”
The experts over at Kinship agree. They say that for some cats, even the most loving home may be stressful for them at times. “Noise, hustle and bustle, other pets, children, a new baby, a badly positioned food bowl — all these things can make cats uncomfortable, especially at mealtimes and so they may be drawn to an environment that they perceive as calmer and more comfortable for them,” explains the site.
This doesn’t mean your kitty no longer loves you. They’re just (rather selfishly) trying to get their needs met, maybe for food, attention or stimulation. Many will roam between houses but always return to you (at some point) for comfort and affection.
But be warned: if your home continues to be “problematic,” some cats may pack up and leave altogether when they find something that better suits their needs.
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Allowing your cat to spend time or eat at a stranger’s home can be dangerous, here’s what to do about it
Besides your broken heart, there are a range of risks that come with your cat eating from, or visiting a stranger. Even if your pet isn’t on a special diet, this person could be feeding them something that isn’t particularly healthy or nutritious. Or worse yet, toxic, like onions, garlic or chocolate.
According to Cat Advocacy Programme Manager at International Cat Care, Linda Ryan, cats with diabetes or a kidney condition are particularly vulnerable… If a diabetic cat is dining out and getting extra food at the wrong time and place, they may not eat at home and the owner might end up not giving them insulin because they think they haven’t eaten.
Another issue with kitties eating outside of your home is that they get overfed and become obese. This, in turn, can lead to health issues like diabetes or joint problems.
There’s also the risk of your cat encountering hazards en route to their side dish. For example, crossing a busy road, encountering dogs or other animals.
If you suspect your beloved cat is being unfaithful, experts suggest getting a with a microchip cat flap or GPS cat tracker, to monitor how much time they’re spending away/where they’re going.
If you know where they’re spending their time, ask your neighbour kindly to stop feeding your pet and explain why. Do this in person or slip a note under their door or on the cat’s collar.
“In practice, most people who feed other peoples’ cats do so in the well-meaning and honest belief that the cats are strays, have no owners and are hungry,” says Daniel Warren-Cummings. He says that from a legal point of view, cats are regarded as property but recent changes in Britain’s laws also now recognise their sentience.
“The removal or taking of a cat without authority or lawful excuse could be considered an offence under the new Pet Abduction Act 2024 (in England and Northern Ireland),” Warren-Cummings explains. You can check the laws in your own state or country but it’s best to first try and solve the issue amicably with your neighbor before going the legal route.
Another option is to install a cat boundary fencing if you have the space and are allowed/able to. “Common options are invert and overhang fences, which stop the cats from going over the top of your fence; they cannot bend their spines in a concave shape,” adds the Kinship site.
You could also create a ‘catio,’ which is an enclosed space in your garden or yard that allows your cat to be outside without letting them roam free.
“Yet another strange injury”: in an update, the owner said they were getting more concerned
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Cat lovers crept into the comments to serve up their advice
The pet owner later revealed that the neighbor had finally had a change of heart
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