When two people come together, many ideas, styles, and cultural preferences are brought into the mix. This is magnified when both partners are from different races because their cultural backgrounds and ways of living are usually distinct.
These differences can make for some funny and interesting stories. From not using the dishwasher for its intended purposes to loving cabbage, here are some of the shocking things people had to adjust to in an interracial relationship.
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My family (white) were terrible. I left them as a teen because of abuse and whatever. Absolute rearview.
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The number of racially diverse marriages has increased from just 3% in 1967 to 20% in current years. The improved percentage of interracial marriages can be due to many positive factors, such as increased social acceptance, more openness to diversity, and a rise in educated people.
You’d never believe it, but about 29% of Asian newlyweds have a partner of a different race or ethnicity, and the same goes for 27% of Hispanic people. As interracial marriages are getting more common, it’s important to understand what differences and hurdles they may experience along the way. Fortunately, we’ve got a whole list of stories to tell you just that.
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The best way to understand an interracial relationship is to talk to the people who are actually in it. That’s why Bored Panda reached out to Chantel and Greg, who’ve created the YouTube channel Perfectly Blended, to share their experience as a mixed couple. They also post videos about parenting, fitness, and their family. We asked Chantel and Greg if there were cultural or social differences they observed when they first began dating.
They said, “socially, right off the bat, we look very different... Greg is a white male of German and British descent, and I’m a black female of Jamaican and Trinidadian descent. When we first began dating, the food we introduced to each other was different to how we both were raised. Greg does not like to eat traditional West Indian food with bones in it and prefers to eat hearty meals like meatloaf, chilli, baked chicken breast and potatoes, all of which were seasoned very differently than what I was used to. Nevertheless, we both appreciate each other’s cultural foods and will eat what is offered to us at family functions.”
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Chantel and Greg shared an insight into the cultural differences that they immediately noticed when they got together. Chantel said, “culturally, our mannerisms and how we ‘did certain things’ stood out at first. For example, growing up I was taught to make my bed every morning. My mother taught me this discipline as a sign of cleanliness and self-respect. I could not leave my house without making my bed in the morning. It was one of the first things I did after I got up.”
“Additionally, I learned walking into a bedroom and seeing a made bed defines a person’s character. When Greg and I were dating he didn’t make his bed. He wasn’t by any means a dirty person and very much respected himself, but this was something I had to get used to,” she added. These minor cultural behaviors and traditions become a part of who we are and what we do. So when people of different races come together they might find it jarring to see their parter do something completely different.
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Simple things like food, dressing sense, or mannerisms are easy to handle and accept. Larger cultural differences can be difficult to work around. According to Chicory Counseling, “cultural differences can also show up as different beliefs and behaviors around gender roles, public displays of affection, spirituality, and other topics as well. While there is nothing wrong with having cultural differences, some couples find that they need some extra support as they navigate these differences so they both feel respected and understood.”
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We also reached out to Kalpa and Tòmídé of the channel Chennai to Lagos to understand their experience as an interracial couple. They said, “coming from Nigeria and India - it was definitely evident we were from different worlds. This was seen instantly through the places we would choose to hang out, through our circles, or basically, through seeing ‘what a typical Sunday in our life looked like.’ This extended to the foods we eat, our languages, music, etc.”
“However, we have learned over the years that our cultures are far more alike than different. Culturally, the things we value are the same. From our extravagant festivals and weddings, clothing, diverse foods, music, entertainment, and value for family and respect - our cultures [are] rooted in many similar values, and it’s beautiful learning more about our cultures through our relationship.”
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Although it’s been observed that 94% of U.S adults approve of mixed marriages, not everybody is that accepting in real life. Kalpa and Tòmídé mentioned that, “for most people, it’s a mixture of surprise and shock. This is really because we both come from very strong culturally rooted nations (India and Nigeria), where relationships most of the time are with people that look like you and come from the exact same place. So we definitely get questions like ‘how did this happen?’ ‘Were your parents on board,’ etc. I guess people find this combination quite rare, so it’s quite intriguing.”
“On the other hand, there are a lot of people who don’t really have a reaction at all. In the world we live in, intercultural and interracial relationships are becoming a lot more common so in certain environments we don’t really stand out at all,” they added.
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Chantel and Greg told us more about people’s reactions to their relationship. They stated, “in person, there isn’t really any reaction. We live in the Greater Toronto Area (Ontario, Canada), which is quite culturally diverse, and interracial relationships are common. It wasn’t until we started our YouTube channel that we realized people in different parts of the world have very different perspectives (which they love to share in the comments), and that took a little getting used to. Most find it really intriguing because, not only do we look very different in terms of our ethnic backgrounds, but we also live a lifestyle that's different than most.”
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As the world becomes more diverse, everyone needs to open themselves up to different cultures and ways of living. Chantel and Greg shared advice from their personal experience, stating, “by working together our views on certain things like this have changed over time. We raise our children through a blending of both our backgrounds. Our kids get to experience a wide variety of foods that we never had while growing up, and we try to instill the behaviors we believe will offer them the greatest opportunities in their lives.” That’s something we all should try to learn from.
What are your thoughts on interracial relationships? Have you ever been in one? Tell us your story, we’d love to hear it!
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