Last week, Reddit user PrestonRoad90 made a post on the platform, asking those who grew up poor to share the things they believe people with more money will never understand about them.
It quickly gained traction and sparked thousands of heartfelt responses about the lasting impact of financial hardship. Many described how their experiences shaped their views on money, security, and even relationships.
From small but meaningful sacrifices to constantly worrying about bills, the thread highlighted the challenges that the wealthier may never have to consider.
#1
You just get so tired. It feels like there's no resting because there's always the pervasive feeling that you should be doing/making/fixing something. Poverty means constant planning - for the next meal, for the next bill, for the next crisis.
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#2
How little activities like “bring valentines for everyone in class” or “let’s hold a bake sale” were stressful AF.
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#3
How difficult it is to crawl out of generational poverty.
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#4
Being poor is very expensive.
For example, if you're unable to afford to pay a speeding ticket, it will accrue late fees, making it even harder to pay off.
If you need money right now to buy food and pay rent, Payday Loan shops can help you, but with exorbitant interest rates so you'll end up paying back way more than you borrowed.
If you have a toothache but can't afford to see the dentist, it can grow into something worse and more costly to fix.
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#5
The constant fear of running out of money that creates this weird obsession over and guilt about spending money, even when you've got decent finances.
I grew up poor and my partner grew up upper-middle class. We have managed to carved out a pretty comfortable life but I still have panic attacks about money and being able to afford essentials (food, rent, etc.). They are flabbergasted every time it happens. Like supportive but completely confused as to why I get so upset. My response is always "money can run out". .
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#6
Being bullied for being poor.
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#7
Getting to stay home instead of school field trips because mom could never afford the ticket.Used to get excited about it until I realized why.
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#8
How much relationships matter. You're alot safer in a dangerous neighborhood if you know and have good allies/friends in the neighborhood. It's alot easier to share a bedroom with four or so other people if you like those people. You can't afford that new car part, but if you know that dude in the neighborhood who fixes cars, he might hook you up for a little cash. Etc etc. TLDR: having solid, good relationships with people you have history with can make a WORLD of difference.
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#9
When you are starving and there's nothing to eat so the only option left is to try and sleep because you hope that when you wake up you won't feel so hungry.
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#10
The anxiety you feel at the cash register. Knowing there’s nothing else you can put back, that you genuinely need every item and it’s the cheapest possible price, but somehow it’s still too expensive. That feeling never goes away.
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#11
Your parents not being able to support you into adulthood. Hell, mine stopped being able to when I was 15. I can always tell someone didn’t come from poverty when their suggestion to somebody facing financial troubles is “talk to your parents”.
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#12
Food insecurity. I’m 60 and even now having no debt and being in a good spot, I still hoard food and keep any bit of leftovers. I remember going hungry and/or only having a small portion to eat..no seconds.
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#13
That Sugar toast is an acceptable dinner.
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#14
Amount of time feeling powerless.
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#15
Being told:
"Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.".
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#16
How exhausting it is to constantly worry about making ends meet.
#17
How stupid the phrase "it'll cost more to repair it than it's worth" is when it comes to car repairs.
It doesn't matter if that s**tbox isn't worth $500; a $600 repair that you're going to have to beg, borrow, and steal to afford is still cheaper than coming up with a down payment, monthly payments, full coverage insurance, etc that you need for a decent used car.
Also, just how many laws and proposed laws utterly f**k over the poor. Emission inspections being a big one.
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#18
As a fellow poor kid, the stinky kid in class probably didn’t have deodorant/couldn’t afford the proper deodorant. It still could be true for the stinky poor adult in your life. Be mindful and considerate sometimes.
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#19
Even basic needs are luxury for you.
#20
Some things can be cheap or low price and still not affordable.
#21
Being poor means constantly worrying about basic needs and future stability.
#22
You fix things yourself.
#23
Small problems become large ones when you don't have adequate savings
Any extra expense can be catastrophic.
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#24
Being excluded from just about everything.
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#25
Lack of proper nutrition, and the effects of it. You can buy boxes of Little Debbie snacks for a few dollars, but a bag of apples is $8.
#26
Seeing your mother wear 20+ year old worn out clothing and what amount to rags she collected from hospital visits, all so her child could have the best. Then the sadness of not being able to spoil her when you finally have your own money because she passed away too young.
Well... I just made myself sad lol.
#27
Maybe Obama care has helped. But healthcare wasn’t a thing. Need stitches the lady across the street did that for hamburger meat. Got jumped in the bathroom and have a big knot on your head lay down in the dark while your mom tells you not to fall asleep. I joined the Coast Guard when I turned 18 and boot camp was the first time I had been to a dentist.
My mom had mental health issues. She would get jobs and then lose them. She used me as a p**n in her games with my dad. I went to 21 schools from7th Grade to Graduation. You don’t get to go to college when you have been to 9 different high schools and have months long gaps between them.
People say it’s about making good choices. What if don’t know anyone who makes those like ever?
I joined the military and pulled myself up by my bootstraps so to speak. But it took its toll on my body for sure. But I would be dead or in prison if I hadn’t had a 10th grade teacher who wrote me a plan in detention that would be the best advice I ever got.
#28
Simple joys mean everything.
#29
How you sort of rack up illnesses and health issues from the constant stress and lack of medical care. When I got out of poverty there was a couple of years where I was playing catchup on all these things just to get myself back to baseline normal: steroid shots to stop the daily migraines, appointments to a neurologist to make sure the migraines weren’t a sign of something more serious, checking up on those stomach ulcers I got in college and didn’t do anything about because tuition was due. And all the doctors would ask why I had no medical history and would be surprised when I told them this was the first time I could afford to see them.
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#30
Hunger. That dull pain that eats you through to your backbone and you can’t escape, even through tears is something that can only be understood if you’ve experienced it.
The anxiety and shame associated with grocery shopping. The panic when the register total is higher than your mental calculations halfway through and the shame of putting groceries back but please get this one…panicked total check, and playing the game of how much can I get for my money during checkout.
Having to kill a pet so you can eat. Those bunnies and chickens we got were quickly turned into meat sources during the lean times. Hard for an 11 year old kid to understand that bun bun was not a pet and don’t get attached, I went vegan for a while as an adult because I was so traumatized but to this day I’ll eat a rooster as soon as it utters its first cockadoodle because f**k those mean bastards.
The poverty smell. There’s just a smell associated with poverty that can’t be described. I’ll be in public and pick up a whiff and I’m instantly transported back to my childhood/teen years. If you know, you know.
#31
"Money doesn't buy happiness" Ahahahahahahahahahahahah.
#32
One thing people who weren’t poor don’t really get is how you always had to think about money on every little thing. Like, even simple stuff like snacks or going to the movies wasn’t just a fun idea. It was, "Can we afford it?" or "Do we have enough to cover everything else?" I remember wearing hand me downs that didn’t fit quite right and pretending not to care when kids teased me. Or when the power would get cut off and we will sit around with candle. It wasn’t just about not having stuff, it was the constant worry and knowing that one little thing going wrong could mess everything up. That’s the part people don’t really see.
#33
Being poor is expensive because you can’t buy things in bulk.
#34
Going to the grocery store and not being able to afford the food you very exactly budgeted for because they raised the price of an item.
The most mortifying experience ever is getting to the register and discovering your total is mere cents above what you can afford so you have to pick an item to put back.
Or, finding out your card won’t go through because you forgot you paid your car insurance and there’s not enough money in your account to cover your groceries.
“Oh, wrong card, let’s try this one…” declined.
“That’s not the one, let’s try this one…” declined.
“Can we split the payment onto multiple cards?
“Oh, there’s not enough on that card to cover it? I’m sorry. Never mind. I’ll find out what money I have where and come back.”
As you walk of shame worse than any college one night stand has ever felt. Carrying your infant child on your hip leaving your groceries all behind because you can’t afford them.
I wish no one ever had to feel this way. But I also kinda wish everyone had to at least once.
#35
Leftovers are precious.
#36
From the other side: my husband grew up poor, and I grew up rich, and apparently according to him I often said things that made it clear I had no idea what it was like to struggle financially.
I didn’t understand why he would shop at thrift stores when (in my own words apparently,) “Target and Walmart are cheap and unused.”
I didn’t understand why he would put unfinished drinks in the fridge instead of dumping them down the sink.
I didn’t understand why he bought so many food ingredients when restaurants exist and are less work.
Don’t worry, I’ve been explained to and humbled since, and now he can afford things he never had as a kid.
#37
Food guilt. I have food insecurity, but the guilt is just as much. Every bit of food I eat, when money starts to get low, or even when I am visiting people who have money, I feel like I am stealing from the rest of the household.
"I'm hungry, but if I eat these two pieces of toast, that's two pieces less for partner/parent/sibling/friend who might need it more".
As the oldest child, foregoing things so others could have them is a part of my DNA.
#38
Sometimes your possessions ended up in a p**n shop for beer money.
#39
That beans on toast is a acceptable meal for any time of day. Maybe for even all 3 meals.
#40
Being poor is a huge health risk. That $10 greasy “food” that people brag that it serves homeless? Well, it isn’t particularly adding longevity to their life. Hygiene comes at a premium. Bath soaps, clean running water, unshared toilet seats are all a luxury. Poor people don’t have insurance, so they are one bad medical bill away from an unrecoverable credit score. Vicious circle of death is what it is.
#41
You learn to stretch everything, even hope, when resources are limited.
#42
The biggest thing I remember being judged for was not being able to drive until I was already in my third year of college.
Back at my first job fast food job, I remember this one girl wanting me to switch with her in the morning shift, which I couldn't make because the bus doesn't run that early. She gave me attitude and said "you can't switch for something important for me", to which I responded "If it's important, you should have planned ahead of time". Then she literally cried saying that was mean and that she won't have her car tomorrow and all I can think was "boohoo b***, I don't even have a car".
Another instance, after my first "proper job", I hooked up with a pretty wealthy lady. We were talking about our past and she mentioned how she wouldn't have hooked up with me if she knew I was a loser who couldn't drive until my mid 20's. and I had to look at her firmly and tell her "You don't know what it's like to have to pay for your own driving lessons and car because you have abusive parents that neither can nor will teach you how to drive and buy you your first car".
#43
That oftentimes poor people make the decision to buy the thing that makes them happy when they can, instead of constantly saving only for what they need.
#44
The shame you experience when trying to fit in or act like everyone else that wasn’t poor and having someone point it out in front of others to take you down a notch.
#45
Lack of choice. People think poor people just make poor choices because they want to. No. Most of the time poor people can choose from a few very s****y choices. And even if they choose the best one, they are still being s**t on for it.
#46
Just how much headspace money takes up. You ALWAYS think about money. You think about when more money is coming in. Change is not superfluous, it is vital. Money is like a d**g, you love and hate it at the same time.
#47
I wanted to work at about 8. In my child mind, I thought it would help because my mother wouldn't work. My father made the bare minimum and they had a s****y relationship. I learned to not hope for Christmas presents early on. .
#48
Being poor can leave you with PTSD. The effects are real and can impact the rest of your life, even if you become financially stable.
#49
Hunger. I don’t mean “I was so busy I forgot to eat lunch”, I mean never having enough food day after day after week after year.
#50
This is maybe more applicable to poor people in urban centres but you don't get any privacy and everything's always loud. Your apartment's probably too small for the amount of people living there and you don't have a private outdoor space. You can probably also hear your neighbours and they can hear you. You do your laundry in the laundromat. You either walk or take public transit as transportation and you're definitely going to be that kid who loses their s**t on the subway at some point.
#51
Our pipes froze every year because we lived in a poorly insulated trailer. My mother would collect snow and melt it on the stovetop for water to do laundry/teeth brushing etc. That’s a type of poor people don’t appreciate until they do it every year for months at a time.
#52
When you're a kid and it clicks that you should never ask for things or show that you want something since all it does is make your folks upset because they can't get it for you. Never finishing school projects because you know they can't afford the supplies so you just take the F. Being the ONLY kid from your class who didn't go on the field trip so you work in the school office all day. Or if there are more of you, they'll let you just sit in the cafeteria or library all day. And then to cap it off, your senior when your parents ask about class rings or yearbooks, you tell them you never got the form or just forgot about it.
#53
That it's not so bad if the family is intact and loving.
