A Melbourne woman's suggestion that men pay a £78 ($100) deposit for first dates to discourage last-minute cancellations has sparked a heated debate online.
Maddy Carty, host of the Mad's World podcast, said the measure would help recoup time and money women invest in preparing for dates, including beauty treatments and travel costs.
Speaking on her podcast, Carty suggested that the deposit could be refunded if the date goes ahead but would be forfeited if the man cancels without sufficient notice.
The idea came during a conversation with her friend Natalie, who highlighted the financial and emotional toll of frequent cancellations.
Natalie noted, "I've exfoliated, re-tanned, and gone through all these steps, which cost money. When someone cancels, it feels like a complete waste."
Carty agreed, stating that a deposit would make men think twice before cancelling. She added, "We're talking about an hourly rate here. Our time and effort have value."
According to the Daily Mail, Carty believes this system would bring accountability into modern dating, where no-shows have become all too common.
Online Reactions Spark Debate
Carty's proposal drew mixed reactions across social media. Many women voiced support, saying they would have saved substantial money if they had charged deposits for their own no-show dates. However, men were less enthusiastic, with some accusing her of commodifying relationships.
One man commented, "If you want to know why blokes cancel, re-watch your TikToks." Another said, "At this point, single guys might as well hire escorts. It's cheaper and comes without the drama."
Others questioned the practicality of implementing such a system. One user asked, "When exactly does the deposit get refunded? And who enforces it?"
Carty addressed the backlash, maintaining her stance. "I said what I said, and I stand by it," she remarked.
A Personal Experience of Frustration
Carty's suggestion was inspired by her own experience of being stood up after extensive preparation.
She recounted an instance where she planned her entire day around a date, only to receive a cancellation message 30 minutes before they were due to meet.
"I had tanned the night before, went to work instead of staying home, styled my hair, did my make-up, and even had a pre-drink with friends to get into the mood. Then, at the last minute, he said he couldn't make it because of work. It was infuriating," she explained.
Carty argued that such cancellations waste prime social opportunities. "Friday night is valuable. By the time he cancelled, it was too late to make other plans."
Woman Charges Her Date £78 For Cancelling
Last year, X (formerly Twitter) user Lavishtalk made headlines when she charged her date a £78 ($100) cancellation fee after he rescheduled on the day of their date, framing it as compensation for her time and effort.
My date had to reschedule. I asked for a small inconvenience fee to reschedule. I love how he didn’t mind . I originally was gonna charge $50 then I realized it’s raining so I factor in the fact I could’ve been in the rain . It’s the little things like this that keeps you around pic.twitter.com/qf8lr4ucNb
— Motor Mouth🫦 (@Lavishtalk) September 9, 2023
She admitted she wasn't planning to go on the date at all; she was comfortable at home with her friend.
The date's reason for cancelling—a car break-in—added to the controversy, as some viewed her as savvy, while others criticised her for profiting from her date's misfortune.
The date himself, however, seemed unbothered by the fee. "I checked on that sweetie pie earlier and, he's doing just fine," the user told her followers in an update.
As people engage in relationships with higher expectations and accountability, both men and women are reassessing traditional dating norms.
The discussion surrounding Carty's podcast and Lavishtalk's post illustrate the evolving dynamics of dating, where personal investment and time are becoming more important than ever.
