Forty years ago Paul Merton stumbled on to the stage of a bearpit comedy club knowing his life was at a crossroads.
Ever since he was four, when he became transfixed by circus clowns, all he had wanted to do was make people laugh.
He also knew, from being bored senseless for three years as a Department of Employment clerk, that a nine-five job was not for him.
So the 24-year-old spent six weeks honing a three-and-a-half-minute sketch about a policeman on LSD giving evidence in court, even buying a copper’s helmet from a tourist shop and a notebook, as props to beat the nerves.
It was midnight at Soho’s Comedy Store in April 1982 when the novice treated the boozed-up, raucous crowd to his hallucinogenic monologue.
And to his eternal relief he smashed it so much they demanded an encore, which was a tough request as he had no other material. So he did his sketch again and they loved it even more.
The London tube driver’s son says: “It felt extraordinary. Afterwards, at half-past two in the morning, I walked the seven miles home from Soho to my bedsit in Streatham feeling exhilarated.
“I got home at 6am and I was in heaven because I’d succeeded in my first attempt, on a London stage, at doing what I’d always wanted to do. I had a lot to learn but it wasn’t a fluke. What I thought was funny had been funny.
“Sadly, over the next 18 months, none of the gigs were as good as that. I’d start off well then the next 15 minutes would disintegrate. In comedy, if you have three bad gigs in a row it really knocks your confidence. Luckily it never went more than three.”
Paul went on to become a comedy legend thanks to TV shows like Have I Got News For You, which is starting its 63rd series tonight.
After that first gig, he gave himself five years to see if he could crack it and luckily, just before the deadline, Channel 4 offered him a gig on Whose Line Is It Anyway? He was on the road to household name status.
He’s on the road again now, for a Paul Merton’s Impro Chums national tour, getting back to his true comedy love – going on wild, improvised, audience-led flights of fancy.
It’s Burnley Mechanics tonight and, the threatened Leadmill in Sheffield tomorrow. Performing alongside him will be his wife of 13 years Suki Webster, who recalls the unusual way the pair fell for each other: Being drunk on brandy watching an invisible magician after they were struck down with diarrhoea.
The 57-year-old writer and performer says: “It was a Comedy Club Players tour of India in 2004 and we both got Delhi Belly. All the others went off to do touristy things and we were left back at the hotel.
“I suggested it would be a good idea to drink a lot of brandy and Coke because Coke kills every germ dead, right? So we ended up getting squiffy together and there was a magic show in the garden which we couldn’t see as it was so dark and the magician was 60 feet away. We couldn’t stop laughing.”
Five years later, Suki became Paul’s third wife. He had been married for eight years to actress Caroline Quentin and writer and producer Sarah Parkinson, who died of breast cancer 12 weeks after they tied the knot in 2003.
Paul, who changed his name to Merton when Equity told him there was a juggler from Leeds already called Paul Martin, says: “The most important thing for a couple to have in common is a shared sense of humour. Being able to take the mickey out of each other. If that goes missing then you’re in trouble,” he says.
Do they ever have big improvised arguments, I ask? “Rarely. And if we ever do have a row then Suki apologises,” replies Paul menacingly.
“You keep saying that to yourself,” says Suki. “When we disagree we tend not to speak to each other for an hour, then sort it out. We’re not shouty people. Plus you can’t go on stage together and enjoy it if you’re both in a bad mood.”
It’s been almost three years since Paul, Suki and Impro Chums Mike McShane, Lee Simpson and Richard Vranch with music from Kirsty Newton, have toured and, after Covid, they’re itching to hear live laughter again.
Paul adds: “Comedy is a basic human need. There’s always a time when you need to get away from the bad news and just take yourself somewhere else for a while. It’s therapy really. When people are laughing, their brain has no time for anything else. Problems don’t exist.”
I ask if comedians need the therapy too, as basically they’re just grown-up versions of the kids who made their classmates laugh, and still need the attention to stay sane.
Paul replies: “I wasn’t actually the funniest kid in the class. I was funny but I tended to be making comments under my breath in the back row. Other people who were much more identifiable as class comics ended up shipping bottles of beer in an off licence.
“But when I’m doing these shows I do feel like a nine-year-old at playtime again. And the appeal to the audience is to see us adults behave like children.”
Suki warms to the theme: “This form of comedy really makes you feel young and carefree. Because you can’t predict what anyone else on stage will say, all you can do is think about the now and have as much fun with it as possible.”
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After 40 years of making people laugh to such an extent the lad from a Fulham council house is considered one of the greatest-ever British comedic talents, I ask Paul what’s the secret of his longevity.
He says in a flash: “Not dying.” Then adds: "I try not to get too complacent about stuff. Comedy is about attention to detail and not trotting out what you’ve done before.”
He’s 65 in July, an age when many think of retirement, but a memory from his time as a clerical officer at Tooting employment office banishes any thoughts of waltzing off into the sunset with a gold clock.
Paul explains: “The manager called me into his office when I was 19 and said, ‘This might sound a bit premature but we do have a wonderful pension scheme you know.’
"The very thought of me still being there and coming up to that, fills me with dread.”
So does he plan to go on as long as Nicholas Parsons, his old friend and colleague from Radio 4’s Just A Minute?
“Well if I do, that means I’ve got another 30 years ahead of me which is mind-boggling, but why not?”
- Paul Merton’s Impro Chums UK tour continues until June 14 at venues nationwide (paulmerton.com).
