Patsy Palmer has spoken about her drug addiction, admitting that she chain-smoked cannabis just minutes before picking up her kids from school.
Patsy, who played Bianca Jackson in EastEnders also recalled the time she would turn up to work on the BBC soap high on Ecstasy.
The mum-of-four admits that she's "amazed" she survived.
She said that when she was 32 she realised that she was a drug addict.
Writing about her ordeal in her book All Of Me, Life, Love And Addiction, she said how in 2004 she was unable to stop herself taking drugs at home in between school runs.
She said how she promised herself that she would never smoke in the house because she didn't want any "traces lingering for them".
Patsy also added that she had to be "extra careful" because her daughter had chest problems.
"By midday I was stoned. But it was OK because I could eat something and be fine by 3.30pm when I needed to leave before the school run.
"Three hours later I had just finished my third joint and second jam doughnut and I stood in the middle of the room and thought, 'is this what my life has come to?'"
This moment was a turning point for her and she enrolled on a Twelve Step Fellowship programme the next day.
She admitted that she would be "violently sick" before taking more drugs, only to be sick all over again.
Patsy said how her drug binges would make her feel "physically ill, horrible and dirty".
She wrote in her memoir about how she would arrive on Albert Square being "off her head on drugs", adding that she thought people knew but put it down to her "exuberant moods".
Patsy now lives in California where she works as a DJ and runs her own hair product business Good & Proper.
Speaking about her daily routine now, Patsy said: “As soon as I wake up I do 20 minutes’ gratitude meditation, then get out of bed, make a coffee — and convince myself it’s a healthy breakfast because it’s oat milk — then shower and drive Bertie to school.”
Do you enjoy reading about celebrities? Sign up for all the best celeb news from the Mirror here .
Patsy has joined the Dancing On Ice line up and said that she went on a yoga and meditation retreat to cleanse her body of negative energy before.
“Be kind to yourself. Clear negative energy . . . we are goddesses,” she wrote on social media.
She starred on The Masked Singer in 2020 as Butterfly, then signed up for the ice skating show for a reported £100,000 fee.
Do you have a story to sell? Get in touch with us at webcelebs@mirror.co.uk or call us direct 0207 29 33033.
