My friend Pat Milner, who has died aged 91, was one of the first student counsellors in the UK. Her career started in 1965 when she applied for a pioneering diploma course at Reading University.
In a 2001 interview with her former colleague Stephen Palmer, she described it as a “road to Damascus experience”. “For the first term, I believed the theories of this man, Carl Rogers, were ludicrous and would never work,” she said. “What did he mean ‘really listen’? Of course we listened! In practice, genuineness, warmth and empathy opened up a new world of human understanding. It was mind-blowing. Thus converted, I hitched up my wagon and set off to pan for more psychological gold.”
She found gold as a Fulbright scholar at the State University of New York doing a master’s in counselling in 1966. In 1969 She became a student adviser at University College London, before joining, in 1975, South West London College (now closed), introducing staff and students to person-centred counselling. I was a student then lecturer there on courses run by Brigid Proctor with Pat and Gaie Houston, later joined by other visiting tutors.
Pat also co-edited several books, including – with Palmer – volumes one and two of Counselling – the BACP counselling reader, published in 1996 and 2001, and Integrative Stress Counselling: a humanistic problem-focused approach, published in 1998.
Born in Bolton, Pat was the elder daughter of Tom Milner, a railway worker, and Edith (nee Evans), a shorthand typist. Pat suffered several serious illnesses as a child and spent much time in hospital. She eventually won a scholarship to Bolton school. Having trained as a teacher in 1953, between 1957 and 1963 she served in the education branch of the WRNS (Women’s Royal Naval Service), before applying to Reading University.
She lived for most of her working life in London, in a house overlooking Greenwich Park, with her long-term partner, Joan Beech, and in retirement she became an expert clockmaker.
Pat will be remembered with affection by those she taught. Later, living in sheltered housing in Blackheath, and after being diagnosed with dementia, she remained the same wise, bright egalitarian person, organising a choir in this new community.
She is survived by two nieces. Joan predeceased her, as did Pat’s sister, Beryl.
