As parents, you might be thinking that whatever you say are words of pure gold and can never be wrong. Parental responsibility and words are so valued that parents are often blinded by it. While on one hand parental responsibility is a good thing, over exertion of it makes it worse for a child.
There are certain phrases which parents feel are fine to be told to a child. They think children won’t grow out of their childishness if they are not exposed to the harsh reality of life. These phrases are usually passed down from generations; parents often get it from their parents and their parents from theirs.
If you observe properly, these phrases do not express the same intention with which one says it.While they may seem non-harmful to you, you never know what harm they are putting on your child. There are several ways to interpret these phrases and only an experienced adult might interpret it as a joke.
Read: Why parents should discourage children from keeping secrets
Next time, when you say these phrases to a child think twice:
"Thank us that we are not treating you the way our parents treated us"
Parents often impose it on their children to thank them for whatever they do for them. They often try to convey this message to their kids that despite being treated so badly by their own parents, they have made sure to make their life so easy and smooth.
While, as parents, you might be under the impression that you are instilling a sense of goodness in your child, in fact you are making it clear to them that life is miserable and only your presence is making it better for them.
“You don’t think twice before asking for anything”
This is another statement which every child has grown up listening to. Parents expect 100% return on the money they spend on their kid in terms of their own ambitions and dreams. Parents rarely think about the dreams and passions of their children.
They often compare every amenity they provide their children with to the basic facilities of life like food and clothing. This is not a good approach. This might result in creating a gap between you and your child. What you consider your contribution to the child’s life is actually a duty you are supposed to do.
"Does it seem a joke to you"
Very often such statements come from parents in response to financial demands made by kids. Parents feel kids should be as cautious as them when it comes to making demands for certain things.
Without making them understand about finances, they do not hesitate to pass a scornful remark over their demands.
"What would you do without us"
Parents over expect it from their kids. From education to handling responsibilities many parents expect their kids to learn things overnight and excel in it.
However, it is not the case. It takes a village to raise a child and there are reasons why this saying has been so relevant even after so many years.
It takes years to raise a human being. Only with patience and good manners can you put good values in a child. So do not use this statement for your child and lower its confidence.
"You were a mistake"
This statement, which seems like a joke, is actually a lethal one in a parent-child relationship. Do not encourage the exchange of such statements in the family.
Nobody is a mistake and nobody should be told that he or she is a mistake; even if as a joke!
When parents use such statements, other siblings also try to imitate it and make fun of the child. While some kids can get over it, it might have a terrible impact on some others.
