Grieving parents have vowed to keep their teen's memory alive after she died suddenly from a "silent killer".
Shirley Adderley thought her daughter Fay was "messing around" when she would not wake up one morning. But after being "unresponsive", it appeared the 18-year-old had suffered a seizure during the night.
The close-knit family shared everything together and now, Shirley and Neil "feel lost" without their only daughter. Since that tragic day on November 21, 2020, they have been keeping her memory alive, including by taking her photograph to concerts she should have been attending herself.
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For Fay's 18th, several concerts were booked but some were postponed due to the pandemic. Fay sadly died before she could attend. Shirley told the ECHO: "People presume after two years things should be getting easier but it’s actually getting harder to get out of bed each day knowing Fay’s not here, it’s still so all unreal and like we’re waiting for Fay to come back to us from somewhere.
"She’s still the biggest part of our lives and if we can carry on any little traditions like going to the gigs like we did when she was here, even though it’s heartbreaking because she should be there with us, then that’s what we’ll do."
Fay loved music and loved to dance in the front room, which has now been turned into "Fay's music room" in her memory. Shirley added: "She’s left a huge hole in our lives that will never be filled, we love and miss her more every day and do everything we can to try and get through each day for Fay and each other."
Since the pandemic, Shirley and Neil have shared some of the concert tickets with Fay’s family and friends. Fay’s cousin, Eve went to see Harry Styles, her aunt went to see David Gray and her schoolfriends went to see Five Seconds of Summer.
Just two weeks before, Fay had officially been diagnosed with epilepsy after years of absent seizures, but her medication had still not arrived. Parents Shirley and Neil, of Huyton, want to raise awareness of SUDEP (Sudden Unexpected Death from Epilepsy) as they said it was "like a lightbulb going off" and something that "no-one really survives".
Fay began to experience absent seizures when she was a child but it wasn't until she was 18 that she was officially diagnosed with epilepsy. But just two weeks after the official diagnosis, on November 20, 2020, Fay passed away suddenly and unexpectedly after a seizure during the night.
With music being a reminder of their daughter, who the "biggest heart", it brings her parents some comfort to allow her memory to live on. With her favourite song being the Sound by The 1975, Fay enjoyed a huge variety of music, a passion which she shared with her loving dad Neil.
Tributes previously came pouring in as Sara Peters said: "This is just utterly heartbreaking. Sleep tight beautiful Fay. Sending so much love to her mum and dad."
Maxine Speight wrote: "So sad had all her life to look forward to so sad feel for poor family at this awful time", and Vicki Ferguson added: "A beautiful Angel taken too soon. Adored by her mum and Dad."
Shirley herself lives with a condition called neural migration disorder meaning she too suffers with epilepsy. But despite Fay showing similar epileptic signs, she was told it could be down to anxiety rather than the condition.
However, the family found out after her death the 18-year-old had inherited the condition, which contributed to her sudden death. Now, the family are bravely sharing their journey in the hopes of raising awareness of the "silent killer".
Shirley said: "We just want to try our best to raise as much awareness as we can about SUDEP so any help we can get is really great. I’ve started a Facebook and Instagram page for Fay just to focus and spread the word a bit."
Epilepsy
According to the NHS, Epilepsy is a common condition that affects the brain and causes frequent seizures. Seizures are bursts of electrical activity in the brain that temporarily affect how it works. They can cause a wide range of symptoms.
Possible symptoms include:
- uncontrollable jerking and shaking, called a "fit"
- losing awareness and staring blankly into space
- becoming stiff
- strange sensations, such as a "rising" feeling in the tummy, unusual smells or tastes, and a tingling feeling in your arms or legs
- collapsing
- sometimes you might pass out and not remember what happened.
More information can be found here. For more information on the SUDEP charity, click here.
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