Righto, here’s Ali Martin’s report of a mind-bending, perception-altering day of Test Match CricketTM – or, put another way, just another day at the office for Baz and Stokesy’s Testvangelists. Thanks all for your company and comments – sorry I couldn’t use them all – and join us again tomorrow for more I don’t even know what. Peace out!
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“I can’t believe I missed this,’ says Robert Wilson. “Life is riotously unfair. That’s it. Ambition be damned, I’m taking early retirement tomorrow. No spoilers, I’m closing my eyes and starting from the beginning (only the OBO offers that kind of sporting time-travel). I wonder how this unpromising first day will go....”
A few of us did this in the 2009 Ashes: went to work on a Friday, stayed away from the cricket, then convened for refreshments to watch SJ Broad’s 5-37. I recommend it.
What kept them? Pathetic.
“Anti-schadenfreude,” begins Timothy Harnedy. “Using Google translate, schadenfreude translates as ‘malicious joy’. The antonym of malicious is benevolent. Benevolent joy translates as... Wohlwollendefreude. Hmmmm.”
But maybe Root is feeling malicious joy, malicious towards himself and joy for his mates, so the word we’re looking for was schadenfreude all along. Like I said, Stokesy and Baz have turned the world upside down.
Pope says that they were just expressing how Stokesy told them to play, while Brook enjoyed every minute of it. Pope says the openers spooked them because there was nowhere they could bowl and not get ragged – it spooked him coming in, because he was scratching around before realising that he needed to bat at his tempo, not theirs. He hopes he’s learnt from his travails against Yasir last time.
Brook says his PSL experience is low, slow and skiddy pitches and this was like a T20 track. He’s hoping the ball will keep lower and notes there was a bit of reverse, which England’s bowlers might be able to exploit.
Back to Pope, he says the best thing is playing how the two big guys at the top tell them to play, entertaining people, while Brook reckons he might be happier about his six fours off an over than his ton – though, he chuckles, they were all bad balls that needed putting away. He’s 23 years old and, on our tellies, laughing at how easy Test cricket is. Of course, it won’t always be like that and he knows it, but his easy confidence tells us everything about him and is reflected precisely by the way his expresses his personality – is instructed to express his personality – in the middle.
I wondered if I was being ridiculous when I said the world had changed this morning – it’s easy to get caught up in the moment, even more so when it’s your job to, and even more so if you remain the kind of excitable child who says stuff like that. But Sanga just said it, which makes it law.
“The word for delighting in others’ success whilst being angry about your own failure,” advises Matt Emerson, “is eduerfnedahcs. Which is the reverse of schadenfreude.”
Lovely stuff.
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Imagine the mood in that England dressing room. Duckett tells Nas it was a crazy, special day and buildup – one he didn’t think would come around, after six years out of the Test team. He didn’t think he was close to being picked, but the real change was looking at this squad, going back to playing with freedom, and here he is. He doesn’t think there’ll ever be a better environment to be a part of, notes that the game is now full of others desperate for a piece of it, and it’s moving to hear his understated candour – likewise his simple description of a team that represents and exudes freedom, joy and love.
Crawley, who’s also benefitted from it, says it was a difficult summer and it’s never easy to open in England but this is a good deck, he got lucky on a few occasions and rode it. He reckons he played well at times in the summer but couldn’t get a score – he was, of course, backed by the leadership. He goes on to say that Duckett and Brook made the best tons, then Duckett notes what we were saying earlier about right and left, tall and short combinations, and says the England bowlers – who needed a day off to recover from illness – can learn from how Pakistan bowled, with time in the match to get 20 wickets.
Back to team names, because the only way we can parse what we’ve just seen is by talking our usual nonsense, Mark van Raaij offers “Netherlands Now-and-agains”.
“As a grumbling grumbleweed,” says Jonathan Watts, “I have to point out that Joe Root has really let the side down today.”
You know he’ll be delighted for his mates … but absolutely raging at himself. We need a word for that.
England end day one of the series on 506-4, their highest-ever score!
That was just beautiful.
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75th over: England 506-4 (Brook 101, Stokes 36) Anitdontstop! Stokes twinkles down and lamps four over mid off, then prances onto another and demateralises six over long on! He really does! So Ali goes wider, and this time he vanishes for four through cover! If I could drink Ben Stokes I would, but what’s really crazy is that someone gets to be Ben Stokes! What a state of affairs that is! And dearie me, I don’t even know what to do with myself because Stokes has ramped Ali for four more! The most runs ever scored in a day is 509 by Sri Lanka against Bangladesh in 2002; England’s record is 503 .. but as I type that, the umpires call it a day, and England walk off like it’s nothing, which is what I was about to note about Brook: he did something close to unbelievable, but made it seem like it was normal because to him, it is even though he’s never done it before. Like I said, the world changed today, and that it what happens with the compelling, infectious, inspirational, generous and reliable leaders that England now have (at cricket). Amazing!
Harry Brook makes his maiden test century off 81 balls!
74th over: England 488-4 (Brook 101, Stokes 16) Brook takes a single, then Stokes hauls around the corner for three … then Harry Brook smites yet another cover drive, and that’s his maiden Test ton in his second outing … off 81 balls! He has batted in majestic, murderous fashion – this hasn’t been lucky swinging, it’s been measured, stylish and terrifying. It feels like the world has changed, forever – the impossible is possible and lots more besides. Hold me!
Meantime, Rob, the deftest Stasguruer it’s been my privilege to know, notes that in the fastest innings of 20 overs or more, five are Bazball.
73rd over: England 480-4 (Brook 96, Stokes 13) Brook takes one through point; he needs a five or six off the next ball he faces to equal Jessop. Ali, meanwhile, continues racing in, finding a bit of lift to hit Stokes in the body; he appeals on principle, then we see an ad reminding us that life is too short for sensitive teeth, but I’m not sure because this whole Baz-ball situation has totally warped my concept of time. What even is time? A single to Stokes gets Brook on strike and here we go … dot, then leg bye, and good old Gilbert is safe.
72nd over: England 477-4 (Brook 95, Stokes 12) With the new man in, Babar turns to Naseem and from the other end; Brook takes two, then none, then one; he has 95 off 74, so needs a six to break Jessop’s record and six off two to equal it; remember Bairstow missed it by a ball in the summer. But it’s now Superman on strike, and and he edges four, then clips off the pads for four more; so many balls have gone down there, and Babar is not happy; his bowler’s lines have let him down because he can’t set a field or build pressure. And have a look! Stokes waits, plays late, and dabs four more to third man! Three in three for him to close out the over; the most runs on day one of a Test is 494, the most on any day 588. Now, can Brook break Jessop’s record?
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71st over: England 462-4 (Brook 92, Stokes 0) There’s something fitting about Benjamin Stokes coming to the wicket at the end of the day; he deserves this, the absolute inspirational freak of nature that he is. I am in awe of him. On the four tons in a day question, Pakistan have had five men reach the landmark in a day, but they didn’t go from 0-100 on it – thanks RA Smyth.
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WICKET! Pope lbw b Mohammad Ali 108 (England 462-4)
That shows what I know! Mohammad Ali has his first Test wicket – well done, young man – and the collapse is on!
71st over: England 462-3 (Pope 108, Brook 92) England’s fastest test on is Gilbert Jessop’s against Australia at the Oval in 1902; he needed 76 balls, and when Brook takes two singles off three balls at the start of the over, he’s on 92 off 71. But thenAli hits Pope on the pad and when the appeal’s rejected, Pakistan review. It looks high and leg-side to me…
70th over: England 459-3 (Pope 107, Brook 90) Brook has a phenomenal eye, and after a two and one to Pope, he annihilates a drive to the cover fence. Can he become England’s fourth centurion? We’ve had top fours making tons before, but I wonder if we’ve ever had four batters on the same team making tons on the same day’s play.
Here’s Mark Dawson with some more team names: “Australia Arrogants, England Erratics, India Entitlements (phonic alliteration innit), New Zealand Niceblokes, Pakistan Perhapses, South Africa Sufferers, West Indies Whatevers.”
I’ve been watching cricket for nearly 40 years and doing OBOs for nearly a decade. I’ve never seen anything remotely like this, and seeing something like this should be unbelievable, but actually, England’s behaviour over the last bit actually makes it seem like logical progression and that’s the maddest thing of all.
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And that’s drinks. Pakistan will be taking their time over theirs.
69th over: England 451-3 (Pope 104, Brook 85) Three singles off the over, pathetic. Could be an awkward last half-hour for Pakistan against the new ball when England declare.
“Ashamed to admit I had to google who Ben Duckett had replaced,” emails Pete Salmon. “Seems like only yesterday we were agreeing how good it was that Alex Lees was throwing off the shackles, and might be just the opener we’ve been looking for. But I think its great that Duckett threw off the shackles today and might be just the opener we’ve been looking for.”
Ha! I thought Lees a little unlucky, but I guess they wanted to get Duckett in because of his ability to play spin, and they’ve lost the ability to get anything wrong.
68th over: England 448-3 (Pope 102, Brook 82) If we were to get our full quota of overs at today’s run-rate, England would be pushing 600 at the close; I didn’t think my fingers would type those words, but then I didn’t think Brook would take Saud Shakeel’s first four balls for four fours! Drink this in, this is the pure elixir of youthfulness, and I don’t even mean Brook – the way England are playing under Stokes and McCullum, Branderson included, is youthfulness incarnate. I can feel my hair thickening, my voice becoming more high-pitched and my stubble falling out. It’s incredible, intoxicating stuff and Brook takes the final two deliveries for four too! He and Pope share a minor grin and hug, because this is just normal behaviour.
67th over: England 424-3 (Pope 102, Brook 60) I can’t quite see what the light is doing, but imagine it holds until the close. Dearie me. I’m now trying to think of immediate and unfathomable changes delivered by a change in leadership that compare to England’s. I guess Thomas Tuchel winning the Champions League springs to mind, whereas Pep Guardiola needed a season. A quiet over, just two from it, and this is some of the most reeeeediculous behaviour I’ve ever seen in a Test. The pitch is flat, yes, but the ability of every batter to demolish bowlers of this quality? It’s unusual, mates.
Harry Brook makes his first Test fifty, then Ollie Pope completes his century!
66th over: England 422-3 (Pope 101, Brook 59) One to Brook gives him his first half-century in his second Test, then Pope turns into the on side and hollers in a pleasure more profound than any of us will ever know. He leaps a little, punches air, then reverses Salman for four because his pleasure isn’t done. I was slightly surprised it took him a few goes to ensconce at Test level – I shouldn’t have been because it’s testing – but he’s a very, very serious player now, and I can’t believe I’m going to type this, yet here we are: England are taking Pakistan to the absolute cleaners. And I’ll tell you what: when Brook lamps four more to cover, England have scored more runs than any side, ever, in a day of Test cricket in Pakistan. What the merry wives of Windsor is going on? I feel almost poorly!
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65th over: England 410-3 (Pope 99, Brook 49) Pope takes Haris off the toes for one, which moves him onto 99, then Brook, who’s been impressive, glances two away to square leg. And have a look! Haris charges in, unleashes a short, bouncy one, and Brook isn’t having any of it, absolutely clobbering six over midwicket. The combination of fast hands and long levers is vicious – I bet he’s tidy when it gets on top in Mbargo – and a single gives Pope one ball to get his ton, but he plays a forward push.
“England Empiricals (not Imperials),” begins John Starbuck, “Australian Authoritarians, Indian Innovators, Plucky Pakistanis, Bangladeshi Bangers, West Indies Whizzes, South African Swatters, Irish Impressionists, Zimbabwean Zooters, and so on. I’m tempted to add New Zealand Nervies and Afghanistani Afterthoughts, but that would be cruel.”
64th over: England 400-3 (Pope 98, Brook 40) Pope wants that ton a-sap, and comes down to Salman, swings, and breaks his wrists at the last second to chleanse four through cover. Three singles follow, and England are giving themselves plenty of time to bowl Pakistan out twice.
63rd over: England 393-3 (Pope 92, Brook 39) Now Haris returns and after a single to each batter, Pope is so desperate to get into a cover drive that he leans all the way into it. Another single follows, then Brook is caught on the crease by an inswinging reversing yorker … but it’s not straight. Still a modicum of hope for Pakistan that will also have alerted England’s bowlers.
“I share in your love for morning sport,” emails Quinn Britland. “Cricket has to be the best in this sense, as you get plenty of time after the day’s play has ended to chew over the details while they’re still fresh (while getting to waste some more of the working day not thinking about work). Re the Root/Stokes captaincy, one might argue that Root’s style of captaincy was good for Root the player (not that I think that was in any way his intention); his traditional approach to building big scores over long periods seems riskier in hindsight because England does not have the players (aside from Root) capable of scoring in that manner. It made him look tons (ahem) better while making everyone else look poor. To move away from the set way of playing Test cricket (as India did to some extent too in the win in Aus, Pant in general) takes a big personality, and when you need personality, who else but Ben? I do think some coverage has been a little reductive in that it’s not all about ‘vibes’ and ‘BAZ BALL’ - sensible thinkers work with what they have, which in this case is a group whose talents lie in an aggressive approach to batting (plus a few traditionalists in Root and Pope). This is unsurprising seeing as investment in the game is moving away from test and into shorter (and shorter) formats. Perhaps it took Root losing so many to see that a fresh approach was needed. His scores alone essentially prolonged that dour period; quite sad to think that his career highlights (so far) came in such a cold streak for the team.
Apologies if I’ve rambled; new born baby ... no sleep ... yada yada yada....”
First of all, mazal tov! My daughter was born during Mitch’s Ashes, a harrowing welcome to the world. And yes, I agree, the best leaders tend not to be ideologues, but realists. Joanthan Trott and Alastair Cook would get into this team.
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62nd over: England 386-3 (Pope 88, Brook 38) Salman returns and England milk him with two singles and a two to Pope and one to Brook. This match is going away from Pakistan, and it doesn’t look like they’ve the means to stop it.
61st over: England 381-3 (Pope 82, Brook 37) Pope turns Naseem away for two, then clips hard between long on and midwicket for four more! He’ll be fancying his ton before the close here, and finally, England appear to have found their successor to Jonathan Trott – what a curious thing that is! – whose retirement almost went unnoticed because of the other class players who departed with him. A single follows, then Brook waits for one and glances it to fine leg; Ali chases around the fence, fruitlessly deploying the slide-tackle in an attempt to cut it off. Four more, and England have made hay since tea – in the seven overs since the break, they’ve added 49.
60th over: England 370-3 (Pope 75, Brook 33) England milk Zahid, taking four singles and a two off his 22nd over; he’s gone for 152, though does at least have a two in the wickets column.
'“In order to pick-up our run-rate in limited overs cricket,” sniggers Matthew Marsh, “should England wear a white kit (with maybe a flash of colour)?”
And give themselves an alliterative name. England Entropies? Any better offers, and what should other countries be called?
59th over: England 364-3 (Pope 71, Brook 31) Pope turns to deep square for a single, then Brook adds one more to cover.
“Given that the light is about to fade,” says Andy Flintoff, “then why don’t they start earlier? We know that the Test day is about seven hours long (three two-hour sessions, one 40 minute lunch interval and one 20-minute tea), so why not start about eight hours before sunset to make sure that all the time gets played?”
Perhaps it’s a dew situation, I’m not sure – they started at 10am local time. Presumably they’ve thought of it, but with this thing of ours, you never know. It’s a funny thing, really – it gets darker in Rawalpindi even earlier than it does in London.
58th over: England 362-3 (Pope 70, Brook 30) Brook has so much confidence I can almost taste it through my screen, and he waits for Zahid’s first ball, then spanks it off his stumps and for four through midwicket. A single follows, then Pope cuts to backward point and hauls his partner through for a single before back-cutting hard for four! England have scored 60% of their runs in boundaries, and Pakistan will be desperate for darkness now.
57th over: England 350-3 (Pope 63, Brook 25) Pope cracks to cover for one, then Brook edges. Naseem is hiding every delivery now, so though the reverse is almost imperceptible, maybe it’ll crank up over the next bit. In comms, they discuss Andy Roberts’ ability to twizzle the ball around and swap round sides as the arm came over, which makes me think the lad below would’ve been a handy bowler. And back in the middle, four singles are backed up with Pope flicking four off his tootsies to the midwicket fence! This has been so (apparently) easy for England!
56th over: England 342-3 (Pope 57, Brook 23) It’s Zahid continuing from the other end – if England can get after him, Pakistan will have an more significant problem than they do, and Pope swipes his first delivery hard for four, raising the fifty partnership. Next ball, he goes again, but with the reverse – he misses – then gets down on one knee to take a single to deep point. Two further singles follow, and the evening sesh has continued as the afternoon ended, with England in control.
55th over: England 335-3 (Pope 51, Brook 22) Babar goes to Naseem Shah as he seeks a breakthrough at the start of what could well be a short session – light is expected to fade by the end of its first hour. His loosener forces a false shot out of Pope, but by the third, he’s clipping to midwicket for the two that raises his fifty. I bitched about Brooks’ bat earlier, but apologies: Pope’s burgundy with shocking pink handle is an inexcusable clash, before we even consider that with his barnet. a single follows to cover as Naseem races in covering the ball, and finds a little bit of away-movement as Brook offers no shot.
Our players are back out. On we go…
Goodness me. I need a lie down.
Email! “Morning Daniel, morning everyone,” begins Darrien Bold. “The late, great Shane Warne was always talked of as the best Test captain Australia never had. Who, if any, are the great England captains that never were? We seem to have thrust the best player with zilch experience of captaincy into the role in recent times (Cook, Root etcetera).”
Er, Buttler is renowned for his cricket brain – and though he had his chances, he rarely got to come in with the score where it was meant to be – and people always said it of Percy Fender, but I can’t say I saw him. Really, though, the answer to this question is the answer to almost every cricketing question:
54th over: England 332-3 (Pope 48, Brook 22) Pope is one of those batters who, once in, looks impregnable (before getting himself out). I thought what happened with him was quality knowing quality and Stokes saying get him in the team, but earlier, Nass told us Pope called Stokes and said bat me at three. Skipper and coach must’ve loved those swingers, and now look. But it’s Brook on strike now and there’s that six he tried to hit earlier, clobbered over midwicket then, after a single, Pope turns away one that skids on and gets it by leg slip, just … for four. A single ends the session, during which England scored 158 versus 174 in the morning, for the loss of three wickets as opposed to none. But England are bang on top here, and Pakistan have a lot of work to do in the evening.
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53rd over: England 319-3 (Pope 42, Brook 15) I wonder if Stokes got the captaincy at the right time – when he was ready and Baz was available – or whether England should’ve gone earlier. It felt like Root – who, let’s not forget, did a tremendous leadership job during the pandemic – stayed too long, but increasingly, it seems like he did the team a massive favour in sticking it out, so we could get to here. Meantime, Saud Shakeel has his first bowl of the day and Brook has a look, then deftly turns him away through wide mid on, and Zahid looks to have caught up with the ball only to shove it over the fence for four. Two singles follow, and I imagine the next over will be the last before tea.
52nd over: England 313-3 (Pope 41, Brook 10) Zahid wheels through a maiden – it’s tea in four minutes, but Pope was still trying to score.
51st over: England 313-3 (Pope 41, Brook 10) A single to Brook, then Pope edges for four before turning two more to midwicket. Ali hasn’t been accurate enough today, and England’s run rate – now 6.13 – should nauseate all the Pakistan bowlers.
“A ridiculous lower middle-order, tweets Guy Hornsby, “but 9/10/11 isn’t stellar, even though Leach is a decent no9 now. It’s very strong when we look at the Tufnell/Malcolm/Giddins/Caddick era though. But then, what isn’t! That entertaining bar cannot get any lower!”
Robinson can bat a bit too, but if the top-eight haven’t made runs, it seems unlikely that and 9/10/11 are sorting things.
50th over: England 305-3 (Pope 34, Brook 9) There’s something so affirming about waking up to Test cricket; any kind of morning-sport, especially during the working day, is a proper set-up and sense of well-being and you’ve almost talked me into getting fizz from the fridge at tea, I hope you’re proud of yourself. Meantime, Pope forces one fine around the corner for the four that raises England’s 300 – they’ll want another 200, I imagine – then after a single, Brook goes after one, crashing over backward square but bouncing shy of man and boundary, so he didn’t get hold of it in the way he intended and they run one.
49th over: England 299-3 (Pope 28, Brook 8) Pope tries a drive and squirts to fine leg for one, as Athers tells us about handing Livingstone his Test cap, having hit five sixes in the entirety of his career. I’m not sure I like the colours on Brooks’ bat – the blue Grey Nicolls and bright yellow handle – far less classy than my purple Megapower – but there it is turning a leg-side one to Ali away fine for four. Ah, not so, turns out if was leg byes off the hip, the only runs from the over.
48th over: England 294-3 (Pope 28, Brook 8) Brook flips Zahid away for two to midwicket, uppishly, and gets off the mark with two, before inside-edging and attempted drive … and lofting over extra for four! He’s got some front, and and a sweep for two means he’s nicely into the match.
47th over: England 286-3 (Pope 23, Brook 0) I’ve been looking forward to seeing how Harry Brook does on this tour, and he gets to come in at a decent time, rather than the 47-3 that is customary for England number fours. But it’s Pope on strike for now, and he tries to pinch a single to midwicket before thinking better of it, playing out a maiden.
REVIEW! OUT!
Yup, hitting middle-and-off two-thirds of the way up. Can Pakistan capitalise on a much better afternoon sesh?
WICKET! Root lbw b Zahid 23 (England 286-3)
Root misses his sweep and looks plumb, but he reviews…
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46th over: England 286-2 (Pope 28, Root 23) Feet from Pope as Zahid tosses one up – will it be him, Root or Ronald on Strictly first – and he belts to the cover fence with minimum fuss and maximum prejudice. Have England ever batted as deep as they do here, incidentally? Livingstone at eight but excuse me while I interrupt myself!
45th over: England 281-2 (Pope 23, Root 23) Ali is getting into more of a groove now. First, he pushes Root back and forces him to play late, then brings him forward. So Root, in typical style, tries to force the pace, trying his reverse-ramp without really having the bounce. No matter: he crafts two to midwicket, then presents the full face and extremely handsome it is too, timed through extra like an artist painting a fresco.
44th over: England 275-2 (Pope 23, Root 17) I wonder if the dexterity and hyperactivity of these two makes them a mare to bowl at, or if it’s easier than bowling to two who want to hit the ball in different areas. Anyhow, Pope comes down to Zahid but is done by drift so ends up having to hack it out of his feet, and it squirts into the on side as they take one. Root then adds another to a similar area, but with greater control, and it’s quite ridiculous how well this is going for the tourists.
43rd over: England 273-2 (Pope 22, Root 16) Pope punishes a short mess of a delivery, clouted through a tech megalomaniac’s favourite fielding position, backward square. A single follows, to fine leg, and with just five off the over it’s the least expensive in a few.
“Re cap numbers of Salt and Livingstone,” emails John Starbuck, “it’s not alphabetical, but batting order. In the very first test, in Australia, England’s batting line-up provided the start of the counting system when numbers were adopted.”
42nd over: England 268-2 (Pope 17, Root 16) On the Testvangelists, I loved this from Baz the other day – it’s actually quite moving on this thing of ours: “We are looking forward to playing an entertaining style of cricket which hopefully ends up in results, whether that’s in our favour or in Pakistan’s. Hopefully everyone that does dial into this series, not just in Pakistan but around the world, sees that international cricket is back in Pakistan and we’ve got a product worth watching.” And we do! Root reverses the first ball of the over for four, two singles follow, and then a regulation sweep adds two. Eight off the over, and Pakistan now have two more settled batters to deal with.
41st over: England 260-2 (Pope 16, Root 9) Morning everyone, afternoon everyone, and what a day it’s been so far for Baz and Stokesy’s Testvangelists; bet they’re glad they played, bet they’re glad they won the toss. While I was doing the school run, Duckett went and on TMS, Waqar called it out pre-review. “I’ve got a good eye isn’t it?” he noted; a good eye and many other good things, boss. Anyhow, Ali into the attack, he’s in and Root opens his face like he’s Ronald, guiding the loosener down to the third man fence for four; a single follows, then Pope flicks off his legs for three before Root adds three more to backward square. Ali has been expensive today – he’s gone for 48 off sveven so far.
40th over: England 249-2 (Ollie Pope 13, Joe Root 1) And another miserly over, this time from Zahid Mahmood, just two squeezed from it.
After all that excitement, I’ll leave you with this magnificent picture of Vic Marks and his lunch and hand you over to the excellent Daniel Harris. Thanks for keeping me entertained before dawn with all your messages and sorry I didn’t have time to use them all. Bye!
Pleased to report that Vic Marks has brought his lunch to the ground from the hotel *in his hat*.
— Tim Peach (@TimPeachBBC) December 1, 2022
Like an off-spinning Paddington Bear pic.twitter.com/NdZca9Ur8X
39th over: England 247-2 (Ollie Pope 12, Joe Root 0) Suddenly a proper over of Test criiket, as Joe Root carefully plays out Haris Rauf. A maiden – the first of the day.
38th over: England 247-2 (Ollie Pope 12, Joe Root 0) Pope greedily takes three fours off Zahid Mahmood’s over, a couple of reverse sweeps and one that should have been stopped in the circle. Sweet for England, keen to stop the Pakistan roll before it juggernauts.
37th over: England 235-2 (Ollie Pope 0, Joe Root 0) Haris, Haris, Haris, chant the crowd, as Root gets a full beauty first ball.
WICKET! Crawley b Haris Rauf 122 (England 235-2)
A fast, full, reverse-swinging beauty! Off stump a-go-go. Crawley must leave after a sensational century, and from riches to rags, England now have two newbies at the crease.
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36th over: England 233-1 (Zak Crawley 120, Ollie Pope 0) sorry a few technical issues this end, but Pope was nearly scuppered second ball, one skidding through and trapping him on the crease. Pakistan review, umpires’ call.
WICKET! Duckett lbw Zahid Mahmood 107 (England 233-1)
With his helmet balanced half off his head, Duckett walks off, a reverse-sweep too many. Given not out on the pitch, Pakistan review, and a low-bouncing ball would have cracked off stump. The end of a marvellous innings and a sensational opening partnership.
A maiden Test hundred for Ben Duckett!
35th over: England 227-0 (Zak Crawley 120, Ben Duckett 107) Babar Azam has pulled his hat down low over his forehead but unfortunately it can’t keep out the score. Crawley has another crack at a short ball from Haris Rauf, which flies on the bounce to the boundary fielder. And with a misfield on the rope from Naseem Shah, that’s Ben Duckett’s hundred – his first, six years after he last played. He pulls off his helmet and raises his bat, grin stretching from bearded ear to bearded ear as he is enthusiastically applauded by the other England players watching from the shade. Well played! (with a sympathetic pat to Keaton Jennings)
Gareth Wilson has the answer to why Livingstone and Jacks have their respective shirts, “Re 708 and 798- it’s simply alphabetical; being named in the team originally doesn’t mean Livingstone day-boo’s before Jacks.” Ah!
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34th over: England 219-0 (Zak Crawley 117, Ben Duckett 96) Crawley has a ugly swipe at Mahmood but still gets four, up and away over slip.
33rd over: England 213-0 (Zak Crawley 112, Ben Duckett 95) Did I mention Crawley’s hundred was the fastest by an England opener in Tests? Rauf runs in, the hay-coloured square shining like a vet’s surgical gash, and is duly dispatched, through point for Crawley, backward square for Duckett - who moves towards three figures.
32nd over: England 204-0 (Zak Crawley 108, Ben Duckett 90) A mischievous leg-break! Jeopardy at last for Crawley as Zahid Mahmood squeaks past the edge.
“Like you tea & biscuits ( digestives) to hand & rug over dressing gown a la mode.” writes the very stylish Karen Thorne in Slovenia.
”A bit late to the party, but happy it’s not been delayed. Was a bit sceptical at the choice of team. Being old school I only really recognised the old stagers! Still the young whippersnappers are doing us proud. I always think though that Barbar & Rizwan are likely to have a field day here too. But hey I’ll relish this for the time being.”
Lunch report from our man on the ground
What a bewildering morning. After all the virus drama of the previous day, England didn’t so much head for the traps as fly out of them. A little bit of context about the England record they beat ... the 169-0 against Australia at Trent Bridge in 1938 came off 42 overs, back in the days when fielding sides rattled through them, so 174-0 from 27 is quite the thing. Players are coming back out as I finish off a delicious plate of chicken curry, daal and rice. We’re next door to the rather noisy Poultry Research Institute in Rawalpindi ... I won’t be able to look the chickens in the eye when I leave this evening.
31st over: England 201-0 (Zak Crawley 106, Ben Duckett 89) Perfectly normal: two hundred up in the 31st over of a Test. The fastest opening stand of 200 in Test history. Shah wearily takes his jumper from the umpire and suddenly looks very much a teenager.
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30th over: England 199-0 (Zak Crawley 105, Ben Duckett 88) Duckett takes a huge stride and reverse-sweeps Mahmood for four past a sprawling fielder. The afternoon looms long for Pakistan.
“Morning Tanya.” Hello Tim Harnedy!
”Just boiling the kettle for the first cup of tea - Barry’s naturally - sure I must still be sleeping. Sounds like the pitch is, anyway. Can’t find the TMS overseas link from County Cork. It’s not in its normal place on the BBC website. Does someone else own the broadcast rights for this Test in Ireland? How would I find out?”
I haven’t been able to find the answer to the TMS overseas link conundrum I’m afraid. Do ping me if anyone out there knows.
A hundred for Zak Crawley!
29th over: England 185-0 (Zak Crawley 99, Ben Duckett 80) The bowlers of the day thus far takes the second over after lunch. Crawley toe-ends a four to reach 99, then the lbw shout – in which Waqar Younis detects a hint of reverse swing. Finally, a boundary to bring up his hundred off 86 balls, a perfectly decent ball smacked through the covers. A beautiful way to top a beautiful innings.
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Not out!
A beauty, full, hits the front pad but just flies safely past the leg stump.
REVIEW! Crawley lbw Naseem 99
No!!! Hit on the pads, looked pretty out, the umpire on the field raises the finger. DRS is now working and Crawley reviews…
Afternoon session
28th over: England 180-0 (Zak Crawley 95, Ben Duckett 79) Crawley drives Mahmood’s first ball to extra-cover for two to inch into the mid-90s. With a whirl of arms, Mahmood continues. He has the look of a man who has seen a lot of water under a lot of bridges.
“It might seem like a long time ago now,” writes Robert Lewis, “but I wonder if anyone could answer this: why did Will Jack’s get 708 and Livingstone 709, when the latter was originally named in the team, and the former was only a replacement?”
Over to you, OBO-ers.
Father Christmas was behind the door in my ancient advent calendar, but more importantly there now is a large coffee in my cup. Wondering if there is a more scrubbed, spotless, spit-polished and handsome duo in the commentary box than Buttler and Sangakkara as they chew over the T20 World Cup final.
Donate here to DEC Pakistan flood appeal
“This could be a first for us both, me having an email read on MBM and you receiving a missive from my fair hand.” Why thank you Daniel Ironside. “It is too early to be awake really so i thank you deeply for taking the hit on this one. Wasnt sure if i had tuned in to 20/20 or not but happy that England sticking to their guns and one other thing, Ben Stokes fine gesture did bring a tear to my eye, he really is a fine example of sporting excellence.”
Very true. Link below if you would like to donate.
After an unprecedented monsoon season, floods are devastating Pakistan. The British cricket community stands with the people of Pakistan and you can support them by donating to the DEC's Floods Appeal. 🇵🇰 pic.twitter.com/pM15fcd3z3
— Sky Sports Cricket (@SkyCricket) September 20, 2022
“Good morning Tanya,” Hello Tone White!
”ummm, what sort of tea? I’m doing a meet your neighbour tea and (absolutely dreamy from village baker) chocolate cake session this afternoon and after enquiries chose an Assam tea that I brought back a couple of years ago. Earl, Duke or Baron Grey got huge thumbs down from everyone, I’m pleased to say!
It is boring breakfast/builders/bog I’m afraid. I used to love Earl Grey but, like you, I now can’t bear it.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen one as flat as this!” says the ever-youthful Mike Atherton to Ian Ward who leans back on the Sky sofa, leg crossed.
Lunch: England 174-0
27th over: England 174-0 (Zak Crawley 91, Ben Duckett 77) So Zac Crawley can’t join the six players who have made a hundred before lunch on the opening day of a Test, but that’s an astonishing start by England in their first Test in Pakistan for 17 years. A flat, unresponsive pitch bringing little joy to the Pakistan bowlers; Crawley and Duckett batting with velvet and brocade perfection to dispatch the bad balls. Time for me to get a coffee injection, back shortly.
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26th over: England 172-0 (Zak Crawley 90, Ben Duckett 76) Haris Rauf, collar buttoned up to the neck, shimmies in. The pitch obstinately refuses to give any help but there’s a pinch of a chance when Crawley stands tall and pulls forward of square, the ball flying just past a slightly lumbering Mohammad Ali. Babar Ali wrinkles his nose in disgust.
”Thanks for your commentary at the crack of dawn.” A pleasure Stephen Nicholls. “I woke up a few minutes ago to find a score of 100+ for nought, when I’d been expecting either (a) no test match or (b) ENG 50-4. Can’t remember the last time we had such a good start to the series!
“How do you think Ollie Pope will do batting in the second innings at 3 after keeping for hours in the sun?”
It will be tricky! Especially for a ginger.
25th over: England 166-0 (Zak Crawley 85, Ben Duckett 75) Naseem Shah comes back for a couple of overs before lunch. The ground, which is filling up, roars him on – fast and pitched up. He errs a little wide and Duckett pounces, sending him spinning past square leg for four.
24th over: England 160-0 (Zak Crawley 85, Ben Duckett 70) Haris Rauf hauls back some control, with just a couple of tickles off the bat. On TMS, Andy Zaltzman reports that since the last wicket fell on this ground, 402 runs have been scored. That might put England’s superb morning display into some sort of perspective.
23rd over: England 158-0 (Zak Crawley 84, Ben Duckett 69) Part-time spinner Agha Salman ticks through a second over, with a four apiece to England’s batters. A somewhat ugly sweep for Crawley; a wrist crack of a cover drive for Duckett.
”What a splendid start!” taps Simon Hornbury. “Now I’m awake and following the match, I don’t doubt England will get on with resuming normal service.” I don’t think even England can cock this one up.
22nd over: England 148-0 (Zak Crawley 79, Ben Duckett 64) Babar presents the umpires with the ball, and the umpire seems to pull out a pair of nail scissors and cut off some loose thread. Haris Rauf, small little steps, stutters in. Just three from the over with twenty minutes left till lunch.
21st over: England 145-0 (Zak Crawley 79, Ben Duckett 62)
20th over: England 141-0 (Zak Crawley 79, Ben Duckett 58) DRS is back – Pakistan will be hoping that it comes to their aid, and soon. In the crowd a group of men hold up a huge Pakistan flag that billows behind them in the breeze, one wearing a t-shirt covered by Imran Khan’s face. The obligatory boundary for the over this time comes from Ben Duckett, who pulls the returning Haris Rauf for four.
Thank you for this image Tom vd Gucht:
“Another sign of how brave and up for the fight these players are taking to the field in whites whilst recovering from a bout of the squits. My son came home from nursery with an upset tummy yesterday and the first thing I did was dash to the shop to buy some pull-ups as a back-up incase he accidentally pebble-dashed his Spiderman. I’m pretty sure there’s no hiding an incident like that in cricket whites. Especially if you’re straining away or squatting down a lot.”
19th over: England 134-0 (Zak Crawley 78, Ben Duckett 52) Zahid Mahmood’s five over spell has so far notched up forty runs. Crawley, like a corn-fat princeling, sends his last ball spinning over long-on. 14 fours in his notebook so far this morning.
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Fifty for Ben Duckett!
18th over: England 127-0 (Zak Crawley 73, Ben Duckett 50) A run a ball fifty for Ben Duckett on his return from the wilderness. Ben Stokes, looking magnificently oiled and tattooed in a grey vest top applauds enthusiastically. A smashing innings.
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17th over: England 121-0 (Zak Crawley 73, Ben Duckett 45) Crawley starts and finishes the over with dismissive fours through midwicket. Babar is not over happy with Zahid Mahmood. I quite fancy pulling on Zak Crawley’s boots for 24 hours, standing six foot five and carting people about effortlessly.
16th over: England 113-0 (Zak Crawley 65, Ben Duckett 45) A supremely confident front-foot pull by Crawley bisects the two Pakistan fielders lurking on the rope, as Ali jogs in Angus Fraser style. A light mist hangs over the ground.
“Good morning Tanya,” And to you Andrew Miles.
“Prospect of someone getting a ton before lunch on day 1? That has a proper old-fashioned stat feel to it?” Almost nailed on, I’d say.
“Keep up the good work. May your tea stay hot and fresh.” A fabulous phrase for life! I’m pocketing that for another time
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15th over: England 106-0 (Zak Crawley 60, Ben Duckett 43) After 14 overs in the T20 World Cup final, Pakistan had made 98! Mahmood’s third over is treated a bit more respectfully, with just three singles coming off it. A top-edge from Duckett brings temporary excitement, but it falls short.
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14th over: England 103-0 (Zak Crawley 58, Ben Duckett 42) Mohammad Ali is pulled back for a second go – Babar Azam’s options looking limited here. The hundred rattles up, there’s a brilliant stop on the rope off a no ball to prevent Crawley picking up yet another four off his hip. And that, I think, is DRINKS.
“Morning Tanya,” Hello Edmund Bannister!
“If it wasn’t for the 4 year old walking into our bedroom at 4.57 or the 18 month old crying out 15 mins later I would have missed the start of the test! They’re just looking out for me … I think! Thanks for your sterling work as ever. I’m fascinated to see how this test and series play out and if the aggression can be sustained and successful overseas.”
You have my deepest sympathies – hope the little darlings can be soothed back to sleep.
Fifty for Zak Crawley!
13th over: England 97-0 (Zak Crawley 54, Ben Duckett 41) Off just 38 balls – with a tickle to fine leg – and then he’s after the more the greedy thing, three from a sweep off Zahid. It’s almost unseemly in the first hour. Super batting.
12th over: England 87-0 (Zak Crawley 47, Ben Duckett 38) I’m afraid I’ve got to pull the Bazball word out of its locker what with 87 from 12 overs and a run-rate of over 7. Three fat fours off Haris Rauf’s over, the short ball giving only opportunity for more run accumulation.
11th over: England 75-0 (Zak Crawley 35, Ben Duckett 38) The legspinner brings no relief – Duckett looks like a boy opening his stocking on Christmas day, unsure what to play with first. A sweep for a couple, a reverse sweep for four, and a dinky up and over sweep for four more.
“At the risk of inciting the jinxing gods of hubris, may I venture that this is already feeling like a rather good toss to win?” You may, Brian Withington. “Meanwhile it was reassuring to see you have nearly all the essential supplies in place for the early shift, but no dunking biscuits with your tea - surely some mistake?”
No biscuits in apart from those German Christmassy ones with an apricot filling which I couldn’t face a 4.30 am.
10th over: England 63-0 (Zak Crawley 35, Ben Duckett 26) Crawley cruising! Gloriously through the covers, majestically through mid-wicket. Haris Rauf trudges back to his mark.
9th over: England 53-0 (Zak Crawley 25, Ben Duckett 26) Naseem Shah floats through his fifth over on a stubbornly unresponsive pitch. Duckett pockets a streaky four and the runs continue to stack up. Shah pulls on his sleeveless sweater at the end of the over – there’s still a chill in the early morning.
An evocative essay arrives from Zain Malik! Thank you.
“On the dawn of December, the English arrive under the cloud cover of the Rawalpindi sky with all the pomp and ritual, all the excessive security protocols that Ben Stokes was looking forward to experiencing.
Pindi itself owes it’s relevance in today’s world to the British. This small settlement and it’s bearable climate is what prompted the colonizers of the past to set it up as the HQ of the the Northern Command.
As a “viral infection” is set to deplete the Three Lions, memories of the olden Empire days and postwar perceptions of our part of the world are rekindled. There’s something about a winter morning on the foothills of the Himalayas and the sound of the willow connecting on leather that invokes a nostalgic colonial hangover. With tea and biscuits, neatly lined white tables and Jimmy Anderson in the mix it won’t be hard to imagine a city with nearly a 174 year history with the visitors come to life to see an enthralling encounter.
With the English medical staff busy trying to nurse their team back to health, imageries of the past come to haunt us. Malaria, mosquitos, dysentery and sobriety will all be concerns the English will look to battle off the field, as they face the Pakistani pace battery and young Abdullah’s grit and resolve on it.
As the land of uncertainty and disease as this part of the world was once etched out to be, about which one English captain purportedly said “Pakistan is the sort of place every man should send his mother-in-law for a month, all expenses paid” this tour is about a lot more than just cricket. Ben Stokes and his men have rights to wrong. From the D.B Carr and Idris Baig fiasco to the controversial Shakoor Rana incident and most recently the backing out of the English at the last minute, this Test Series is a diplomatic mission. Stokes and his men have to bring the new, kind and understanding English to Pakistan, an England that accepts the world in all its differences and most certainly an England that has moved on from Empire. While Pakistan has to avenge their defeat in Melbourne and remind the English that they have a better head to head record than them at Lord’s. It’s one for all ages. It’s the English in Pakistan.”
8th over: England 47-0 (Zak Crawley 25, Ben Duckett 20) Haris Rauf, another debutant, takes over from Mohammad Ali. Three singles follow – the first of the innings.
An email wings in from Becky Chantry. “I’m in Cyprus at the moment, where it is a much healthier 7.15am, sitting on a balcony watching a glorious sunrise, looking forward to it hitting 23c.again today.” [sounds idyllic]
“I’m enjoying the positive start for England through your OBO but if anyone has a link to TMS overseas I’d be grateful.Hoping for both Crawley and Duckett to make strong starts here.”
I can’t see the link on the BBC home page – does anyone out there have a link?
7th over: England 44-0 (Zak Crawley 20, Ben Duckett 18) Naseem Shah tries the short ball, but Crawley eyes it up and swivel pulls it to the rope. Shah puts his hand to his face in agony. England rattling along merrily in the first half an hour.
6th over: England 40-0 (Zak Crawley 20, Ben Duckett 18) The boundary every over (except the third) count continues as Duckett pulls out his fish knife and delicately dibby-dabs Ali down to backward point.
5th over: England 34-0 (Zak Crawley 20, Ben Duckett 12) Super stuff from Shah, Crawley grabs four runs with a cavalier inside edge that flirts with the stumps.
4th over: England 30-0 (Zak Crawley 16, Ben Duckett 12) Babar Ali comes out of the slip cordon to pep-talk his new bowler, whose second ball is dispatched away for four through square leg by Duckett. A full ball brings two more and the umpire has a chat with Ali for running on the pitch.
3rd over: England 22-0 (Zak Crawley 16, Ben Duckett 6) A troublesome over from Naseem Shah, who hits Crawley on the leg first ball. There’s a huge lbw appeal but DRS isn’t working so no cigar. Another lbw appeal third ball followed by tight lines.
I’d love to hear from you if you’re up at this unseemly hour of the morning, do ping me over an email on tanya.aldred.freelance@theguardian.com, not the email above which is wrong and I will try to change now!
2nd over: England 20-0 (Zak Crawley 14, Ben Duckett 6)Mohammad Ali’s first ball in Test cricket is a loosener, which gets dispatched to the boundary by Duckett. Sky report that Ali’s superpower is bowling long spells and he has that reliable cart-horse air.
1st over: England 14-0 (Zak Crawley 14, Ben Duckett 0) Teenage sensation Naseem Shah runs in to the strains of Jerusalem and the Barmy Army trumpet. Crawley edges the second ball with soft hands, and it flies past Babar Azam for four, and he punches two more fours elegant boundaries through mid-off. The ground is pretty empty right now but Ali reports extremely heavy security so expects it to fill up later.
And off we go!
Respect to Ben Stokes for donating his match fees to the Pakistan flood appeal. This is Unicef’s latest report on the ground:
“Hundreds of thousands of homes have been damaged or destroyed, while many public health facilities, water systems and schools have been destroyed or damaged. As the floodwaters have receded, the crisis has become an acute child survival crisis. Frail, hungry, children are fighting a losing battle against severe acute malnutrition, diarrhoea, malaria, dengue fever, typhoid, acute respiratory infections, and painful skin conditions. As well as physical ailments, the longer the crisis continues, the greater the risk to children’s mental health. Almost ten million children are in need of immediate lifesaving support.”
I’m donating my match fees from this Test series to the Pakistan Flood appeal ❤️🇵🇰 pic.twitter.com/BgvY0VQ2GG
— Ben Stokes (@benstokes38) November 28, 2022
Hot water bottle, cup of tea and blanket over my dressing gown – the very epitome of Bazball.
Time to put the kettle on, while Jos Buttler, Kumar Sangakkara and Ian Ward discuss the Test with a heavily-decorated Christmas tree in the background.
Our man on the ground is Ali Martin: “Hello Tanya and folks ... lively morning in Rawalpindi ... two debutants for England, with Will Jacks replacing the stricken Ben Foakes in the advertised XI and handed his cap - number 708 - by Ollie Pope, Surrey team-mate and now England wicketkeeper once more. Liam Livingstone, aka 709, was presented with his new headgear by Mike Atherton. Athers was trying to work out how many sixes he hit in his career last night ... suspect Livingstone may end up with a few more. Heavy security on the way in, as you’d expect, and my driver could only get so far. A friendly policeman then gave me a lift to the entrance ... first time I’ve had a machine gun at my feet in the passenger seat. Gulp.”
Pakistan XI
Pakistan: Abdullah Shafique, Imam Ul Haq, Azhar Ali, Babar Azam (captain), Saud Shakeel, Mohammad Rizwan (wicketkeeper), Agha Salman, Naseem Shah, Haris Rauf, Mohammad Ali, Zahid, Mahmood
Four debutants for Pakistan: batter Saud Shakeel, fast bowlers Haris Rauf and Mohammad Ali and legspinner Zahid Mehmood.
England XI
England: Zak Crawley, Ben Duckett, Ollie Pope (wicketkeepr), Joe Root, Harry Brook, Ben Stokes (captain), Will Jacks, Liam Livingstone, Ollie Robinson, Jack Leach, James Anderson.
Ben Stokes is looking very smart in his cap and blazer and confirms that Will Jacks will make his Test debut, alongside Liam Livingstone.
Babar Azam, also in cap and blazer, nods that he too would have had a bat but thinks that the alabaster pitch and lush outfield will work ok for the fast bowlers for the first hour and a half.
Updated
England have won the toss and are batting!
We are on! The players of both sides are out on the ground at Rawalpindi after England were able to muster enough troops to put a side together : Will Jacks plays for Ben Foakes with Ollie Pope keeping wicket.
Preamble
Good morning! At least I hope it will be. At the time of writing, it was up in the air whether the first Test would be starting on Thursday due to a bout of untimely sickness and diarrhoea which has knocked out more than a dozen of England’s touring party, including six or seven of the players. Only Harry Brook, Zak Crawley, Keaton Jennings, Ollie Pope and Joe Root turned out for the final practise session - which leaves rather a hole from numbers six to eleven in the order.
The original XI for the first Test was named by Ben Stokes on Tuesday: Zak Crawley, Ben Duckett, Ollie Pope, Joe Root, Harry Brook, Ben Stokes, Ben Foakes, Liam Livingstone, Jack Leach, Ollie Robinson, Jimmy Anderson.
A Test debut on the cards for the talented Liam Livingstone – big-hitter and spinner of the ball both ways, who hasn’t played first-class cricket for Lancashire this year and who averaged 13 in 2020 and 2021 with a top score of 25. Ben Duckett returns after six years away from the England side. The actual XI England roll out at 5am GMT, will be sickness-dependent – with both sides also agreeing to keep open the possibility of postponing the game for 24 hours if necessary. After all, if you’ve waited 17 years…
Pakistan are without Shaheed Afridi, who limped off in the World T20 final after taking an awkward catch, and instead the attack will be lead by 19 year old Naseem Shah. The batting line-up, led from the front by Babar Azam, is dreamy. Much depends on how quickly England can winkle them out.
Play stars at 5am GMT.
