Name: Ozempets.
Age: Depending on the species, anywhere from 0 to 18 years or so.
Appearance: Sylph-like.
I don’t know what that means. You know, as opposed to husky.
Are we talking about pets? Yes, cats and dogs.
Aren’t some dogs supposed to be husky? Huskies, for example? OK, then: as opposed to overweight.
Are there many fat huskies? There are certainly lots of fat dogs – in the US it’s estimated that 60% of pets are obese, and some studies suggest up to 65% of British dogs may be overweight or obese.
I blame the owners. And the pet food industry. And all those greedy dogs and cats. Fortunately a solution is now at hand – weight-loss jabs.
For pets? That’s right. In the US a pilot study is testing GLP-1 drugs – a category that includes Wegovy, Mounjaro and Ozempic – on cats.
Weight-loss injections for cats – doesn’t that seem a bit drastic? There are an estimated 54,500 diabetic cats in the UK, many of them already enduring a treatment consisting of twice-daily injections of insulin. The MEOW-1 pilot is for an injectable implant lasting six months.
MEOW-1? It stands for “ManagEment of Over Weight cats”.
That is one tortured acronym. How does it work? GLP-1 drugs mimic a hormone that slows digestion and suppresses hunger.
How much would the treatment cost? That remains to be seen, but the company conducting the trial is hoping to keep the price under $100 (£75) per month.
What? £75 a month? Are you kidding? That would represent a considerable saving for people whose pets are being prescribed, off-label, the human version of Ozempic by their vets, at human prices.
It’s still a lot of money. Some pet owners spend a lot more than that on high-end dog food.
So basically, the era of plump cuddly pets is over? Yes, if the trial is a success, plump, cuddly pets with drastically shortened life spans could become a thing of the past.
Sad. I’ll miss them on Instagram. You’re part of the problem – people who think a cat that’s too big to get through a flap is cute.
Not cute, just hilarious. There is, however, a genuine issue here – people gauge a pet’s happiness and wellbeing by its appetite. What kind of dog doesn’t care about food?
An Ozempet. Exactly.
Do say: “Obesity remains the biggest preventable health problem facing our pets today.”
Don’t say: “I’m a bit worried about Rex; he wouldn’t even touch his pizza.”
