Our sensitive teen daughter’s self-worth is tested by social media and peers. What should we do?

‘There’s a bit you can’t do: you can’t do her growing for her,’ Eleanor Gordon-Smith writes. Painting: Night and Her Daughter Sleep by Mary L Macomber. Illustration: Wikimedia Commons

Our teen daughter is a deeply sensitive, perceptive kid who longs for close friendship but often feels sidelined; she reads slights quickly, ruminates and compares herself harshly. Her 16th birthday was heartbreaking: the in-person warmth and social-media love she expected didn’t materialise, and she’s crushed. We try to parent with empathy and backbone, validating her feelings while nudging her towards agency: widening her circles, getting busier and repairing frayed ties without begging for approval.

But how do we wisely accompany a teenager whose self-worth is repeatedly tested by imperfect peers (in her mind at least) and the distortions of online recognition? What practices, language and boundaries help a highly sensitive adolescent convert disappointment into dignity and build friendships rooted in mutual regard rather than constant self-surveillance?