If losing a child is the worst thing, the very worst, that can happen to you, what must it be like to lose one in a tragedy that was national headline news? Alongside that insurmountable sadness comes the question of how to reconcile grief’s normally private, quiet bearing with the fact that your bereavement was a public event. Nobody would be blamed for staying out of sight, saying no to interviewers and documentary-makers, and holding the memories close. But in Our Girls: the Southport Families, we see how a loss shared can be miraculously powerful.
Nine-year-old Alice da Silva Aguiar, seven-year-old Elsie Dot Stancombe and six-year-old Bebe King were all murdered on 29 July 2024, when a man invaded a holiday dance class in Southport, Merseyside and attacked children at random. The programme does not linger on the horror, or speak the killer’s name: instead it begins by introducing us to the girls as their parents remember them. Alice “was magic, she was wonder … the best daughter we could ask for”; Elsie “was unforgettable … she taught us how to be a mum and dad”; Bebe “was pure joy: everything was in a dance, everything was in a song”.
These tributes are deeply moving for being both familiar and unique: almost every parent would say similar about their dead child, but no children were exactly like these three, and it’s a privilege to know them a little through home movies and their parents’ words. Mr Bowman, Alice’s favourite teacher at Churchtown Primary School, joins in: “Sometimes, something clicks. You see a lightbulb in some children and you just get them. Alice got me, and I got Alice.”
The first sign that the Southport parents’ reaction to their situation will be an extraordinary one comes when Alice’s mum and dad, Alexandra and Sergio Aguiar, visit the school, having requested to meet the staff. The speech they have written for headteacher Jinnie Payne to deliver – she just about manages to make it to the end without breaking down – contains this startling awareness of the feelings of others, when it would be so easy to see the loss of Alice as theirs alone: “Last year, our Alice was taken from us, her parents, but also from you …”
Sergio and Mrs Payne both pledge to run the London Marathon, to raise money for a new school playground that will serve as a memorial to Alice – and to Bebe, also a Churchtown girl. They’re joined in the race by Elsie’s father David, who had planned to compete in the name of the hospice where his mother died, with Elsie cheering him on. “That didn’t happen,” he says. “I ended up running it for Elsie.”
In a programme full of moments that provoke fountains of tears, the marathon is the emotional pinnacle. David reports exhaustion kicking in at 21 miles, before his self-doubt was banished by an onlooker shouting, “Come on, Elsie’s dad!” When we see Sergio stationary with hands on knees for a long moment before he straightens up and staggers on, we don’t need him to tell us afterwards that it was Alice he was asking for encouragement. In the background are thousands of amateur athletes, so many of them there because they’re trying to turn heartbreak into hope.
Most of those people don’t have the resources and opportunities the Southport families have, gifted to them by the compassion and generosity of the public – it’s empowering to watch them take this opportunity so readily. While Alice’s parents ride the momentum of the playground project into the formation of Alice’s WonderDance, a charitable foundation offering kids the chance to try dancing, David and Jenni Stancombe establish Elsie’s Story, a grant-giving charity supporting community projects that bring joy to children. Bebe’s mum and dad, Lauren and Ben King, dedicate themselves to Bebe’s Hive, which provides spaces in which bereaved children can find solace in therapy and creativity.
“We didn’t know each other before [but] it’s been crucial to our survival,” says Lauren King of the bond that’s formed between the six parents. Together, they successfully lobby the government for the money needed to revamp the space outside Southport town hall, making that the place where the local community can heal together.
For us at home, affected as everyone was by the news of the Southport killings – in a way that’s wholly insignificant compared to the loss felt by the girls’ parents, but which is real nonetheless – this is where the film finds its moral. “It really shows how many amazing people there are,” says Elsie’s mum, Jenni, reflecting on how public support has enabled her to give her daughter a lasting, positive legacy. “The good will always outweigh the bad. We can showcase good every day.”
• Our Girls: the Southport Families aired on BBC One and is on iPlayer now.
