When you exit the St Martin’s Theatre in the West End having enjoyed The Mousetrap you notice the theatre next door, Ambassadors, is showing Vardy v Rooney: The Wagatha Christie Trial.
Atop that theatre in large neon italics are the words: “The Scousetrap.”
It’s a good joke to end a good evening. But something was nagging at me. A burning sensation in the pocket that holds my wallet.
You’ll know that The Mousetrap has been running since 1952. And that a recent movie starring Sam Rockwell called See How They Run is based on, or around, the play. The movie made my 11-year old daughter want to see the real thing. Of course.
We went for a bite to eat at Joe Allen’s; nothing fancy. One main, three starters, a couple of drinks. The bill? £175.
At that point I inquired what the tickets cost. For three of us, £250.
So before we’ve had so much as a pre-theatre drink or got on the bus home, this relatively modest night out is costing more than £400.
Few London families can afford that. Few families anywhere can — we’d have thought thrice before going if we’d consulted the maths beforehand.
Since both the restaurant and theatre were packed, you can’t say the proprietors got their pricing wrong. But it still seems so expensive. Forget the food, we didn’t have to eat out. Or we could have gone to Pret. That’s still nearly £300, £100 a head, just to have a night up West. A trap of some sort, no question. A mouse wouldn’t fall for it.
And it’s not like St Martin’s, nice to look at, is a high-end experience. The seats are small and uncomfortable. The chap behind us, a huge guy, must have had a horribly cramped two hours.
For teenage me, going to the theatre was no big deal. If something we fancied was on, we went. It didn’t require the permission of the bank manager.
Local theatres — the Park Theatre near me in Finsbury Park is a good example — do fine productions that don’t require second mortgages.
But West End theatres could surely do a better job of making some tickets available to young folk who otherwise have no chance of seeing something.
The stage at St Martin’s wasn’t the only place where a crime was committed that night. People were robbed in the stalls, the aisles and the dress circle.
