A strange phenomenon has been creeping onto the Tube’s advertising billboards. First it was George Clooney, beaming in a field of agave plants like some exquisitely dressed farmer. Then it was Kendall Jenner: leading a horse through a field while clutching a bottle to her chest. Then the Rock… and now, Beyoncé.
What are all these disparate celebs uniting to flog us, their captive consumer base? Alcohol. This is the point where I sigh and reach for my wallet once more. The phenomenon of the celeb-approved luxury item is not a new one. Millennials like myself might recall with nostalgia (or horror, depending on which camp you stood in) the era of the perfume brand collab. Anybody recall Britney Spears’ first foray into the world of expensive scent: 2004’s Curious? It broke records when it launched, and prompted many a pitiful whine to my mother, who steadfastly refused to buy me any.
But she was far from the only culprit. Any celeb wanting to diversify their portfolio (or just earn a quick buck or two) jumped on the bandwagon. Lady Gaga. Paris Hilton. Naomi Campbell and Cristiano Ronaldo — whose latest release is apparently “designed for the modern man embarking on a journey of self-discovery and exploration”. And though celebs are still at it in terms of flogging designer scents — as any trip through the airport duty-free will tell you — high-end alcohol increasingly seems to be the preferred option for today’s trendy new influencers.
Celebrity or not, a billion dollars is not to be sniffed at. It’s a very, very lucrative business
It’s also very, very lucrative. Clooney was ahead of the curve when he founded his tequila brand Casamigos in 2013 — and in 2017 he sold it to drinks giant Diageo for $700 million, plus $300 million extra depending on sales. Celebrity or not, one billion actual dollars is not to be sniffed at, and that is the calculation an increasing number of other people are making.
For some reason (a misplaced air of classiness?) the drink of choice appears to be tequila, with Jenner, the Rock and even Michael Jordan climbing on the bandwagon. But Kylie Minogue has launched a rosé line, Ryan Reynolds has Aviation Gin (which recently launched a Deadpool & Wolverine limited edition bottle) and Jason Momoa has a vodka line. Of course he does. And now Beyoncé is wading into the fray too: her SirDavis whisky brand was announced a few weeks ago, and apparently pays tribute to her great-grandfather.
That’s all well and good. The issue lies more in the price they’re asking for these thoughtfully designed tributes to their family roots or palates. A bottle of SirDavis costs £79, while the cheapest bottle of 818 Tequila (Kendall Jenner) starts from £45. Michael Jordan’s Cincoro tequila is £65. You get the gist.
Look: it’s a cost-of-living crisis. The price of luxury Malibu mansions has gone up too; I get it. But a bit of luxury marketing does not a luxury product make. Essentially, celebs are once again expecting us to pay big bucks (more than a £25 bottle of scent) for the privilege of buying their merch.
I can’t believe it needs to be said again, but in an era of £40 Taylor Swift T-shirts and £200 Sabrina Carpenter gig tickets, stop treating fans like cash cows.
This is just the latest money-grab from a group that has more than enough of it already — and that leaves a bitter taste no amount of tequila will erase.
