My mother and I are currently deep into what we are calling our voice-note era. By which I mean: I send her a voice note about my day and that thing that happened on the bus earlier. She replies with an essay and a heart emoji.
It's cute, funny and perhaps a little jarring, our communication style right now — but I'll teach her to use the record button eventually. And at least those Sunday nights spending hours the home phone are a thing of the past.
Yes, sorry Mum and Dad, but I’ll buy you a walkie talkie if you really do insist on a physical hotline to the grandparents, because the landline is officially over. According to what must be one of the least shocking studies published by Ofcom, the majority of UK households do not have a home phone for the first time ever. For Gen Z readers, it’s that funny thing with the big squiggly cable that we millennials used to gossip on after school.
The three-pints-down post-date debrief is one of the highlights of the voice-note era
Say what you like about young people’s attention spans and the self-indulgence of serial voice-noters, but I couldn’t be more glad to live in this post-landline voice-note era (WhatsAppers reportedly sent seven billion voice notes a day in 2022). Sure, none of us want to listen to a mini-podcast from every contact in our WhatsApp list — but that’s where the unwritten rules of voice-noting come in, and (whisper it) there does seem to be a strange correlation between voice-note haters and those who, well, lack basic listening skills.
Capping each note at three minutes, pausing when a motorbike rattles past and never sharing logistical details over audio are among the rules in my inner voice-noting circle. Debrett’s even has an etiquette guide, which includes being mindful of your recipient (avoid bosses and group chats seems to be the general consensus) and never using a voice note simply to say: “I agree”.
Not sending audio when inebriated also makes the list, but clearly the etiquette experts forgot to consult anyone who’s ever been young or single in London. The three-pints-down post-date debrief is one of the highlights of the voice-note era. If the story is good enough, we couldn’t care how much rosé you’ve had.
Yes, it’s the intimacy of voice-notes that is exactly their joy, as long as you promise not to record one while eating or having a good cough. It makes me smile to hear Ben unloading the dishwasher in the background of Laura’s work rant. I enjoy having my Sydney friends in my pocket without having to navigate time-zones. And I sure as hell am grateful for that drone of a voice-note I once received from a particularly monotone Hinge prospect. It saved me from sitting through an even-more painful first date.
A final word on speed. “It’s not personal, I listen to everyone on 2x,” I told one pal. Unfortunately she‘s taken the rules too literally — she’s been sending me six-minute voice notes ever since.
